The Rented Mule Award - October 9, 2007
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by Woodsmeister
Here at the Rented Mule, we attempt to answer some of life's not-so-burning questions, such as "Is it more humiliating to get shown up by small, nonbiting insects, or to lose to a team whose mascot is a tree?"
The Rented Mule Award is given out weekly to the team who experienced the most shameful, degrading, or humiliating defeat on the field of athletic endeavor.
Dishonorable Mention
- The Philadelphia Phillies - After totally humiliating the New York Mets, one might think that the Phightin' Phils would be poised to break through in the playoffs against the wild card Colorado Rockies. Instead, they went three and out, losing the first two games at home. But then again, did anyone really believe that any team that would run Kyle Lohse out to the mound in a critical situation could possibly win the World Series?
- The Chicago Cubs - After rallying from early-season ineptitude to catch the imploding Milwaukee Brewers in baseball's weakest division, should we really be surprised that they took an early exit at the hands of the team with the National League's best record? Not really. But we should be surprised at how lifeless a team managed by Lou Piniella managed to look. Fortunately, they played late games so most of the country was able to consider the game as a televised sleeping draught.
- The Angels of Someplace in Southern California - Mike Scioscia has been saying for years that he has tried to build this team in the image of a scrappy National League team. The good news is that he's succeeded. The bad news is that the Boston Red Sox made them look like they had a whole lineup full of pitchers hitting the ball. Vlad the Impaler? More like Vlad the Bad. Vlad made Captain Clutch look like a slugging machine.
- The New York Yankees - So many humiliating events. There were the Midges of Doom (which didn't seem to bother the other team). And there was the Limp Wang (which also didn't seem to bother the other team), And let's not forget the $19.5-million dollar man making a guest appearance for a couple innings, long enough to give up a home run to Trot Nixon. And what about Captain Clutch? Captain Clutch, in 17 at bats, got 3 hits, but also grounded into 3 double plays, making him responsible for 17 outs in 17 at bats. And, oh yeah, being outhit and out pitched by the Cleveland Indians. I don't think Yogi Berra or Joe DiMaggio would have let a few midges get in their way. But at least the Yankees won one game, which puts them ahead of the Phils, Angels, and Cubbies.
This Week's Rented Mule
LA's Major College Football Powerhouses - Unranked Stanford was a 41-point underdog coming into their game at USC. USC had won 35 straight home games, Stanford was starting a backup quarterback. Didn't matter to the Mighty Cardinal and their mascot, the Tree. The Cardinal scored 17 fourth-quarter points to stun Southern Cal 24-23.
And what about the crosstown UCLA Bruins? They lost in their own house 20-7 to previously 0-5 Notre Dame, which has pretty much been staging a nationwide Magical Misery Tour. Sure, they were forced to play a walk-on quarterback, but hey! You're UCLA! How do you get stuck with only a walk-on quarterback on your bench?
The collective misery of one major metropolitan area being beaten in their own houses is worthy of this week's Rented Mule Award
