The Onion's Fantasy Sleepers for 2007
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by user Tylersalt
Fresh off the presses, here are the long-awaited fantasy sleepers and busts as identified by the sports staff over at The Onion...
Busts
- Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals: "Expect a huge regression this year, with Pujols putting up a .322 average, a dismal 47 home runs, and a paltry 136 RBIs."
- Hanley Ramirez, Florida Marlins: "Though he's the reigning NL Rookie of the Year, he has been politely asked by MLB to do poorly this season, as there are already two great players named Ramirez and that's confusing enough for fans as it is."
- Ryan Howard, Philadelphia Phillies: "Many are predicting another 50-homer season from this Phillies slugger, but if you draft him, he'll probably get injured or forget how to hit just like all the players you picked last year."
- Mark Prior, Chicago Cubs: "Now that he's finally back and healthy, look for this Cubs phenom to win 20 games, post 250-plus strikeouts, and—wait, he just broke his arm waterskiing nine minutes ago."
Sleepers
- Randy Johnson, Arizona Diamondbacks: "Could be a monster year for Johnson, especially with the Diamondbacks ace scheduled to pitch 162 games."
- Gary Sheffield, Detroit Tigers: "As the Tigers' new DH, Sheffield now only has to half-ass one job."
- Barry Bonds, San Francisco Giants: "You want to win, right? Nobody has proven anything, so it's not cheating if you pick him. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to get to that next level."
- Robin Yount, Milwaukee Brewers: "Trust us on this one."
