The Official Super Bowl Commercial Running Blog hosted by Manny Stiles
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by user Manny Stiles
Today is the day of the "Big Game". The Big Game where all of the companies looking for the most over-rated, most over-exposed advertising spots jockey for position. Oh yeah, and there's some football game on today too.
This running Blog is for coverage of the coverage of the big game. We will follow, analyze and comment on the commercial aspect of the big game. The "Big Game" has already been analyzed to a nauseatic extent. I keep saying "Big Game" so the NFL can't sue me for using the registered trademark "Super Bowl XLI". Ah, go ahead sue me, NFL... I don't have a projector screen TV at my chuch, so I'm not breaking any other rules... (NO FUN LEAGUE) How about I call it "Super Bowl 41" since I'm not Roman.. or the "2007 Super Bowl" - something tells me they copywrote both of those too...
The blog will be updated frequently and editied just as much. so please wait until tomorrow to fix my speling erors and to add bracket links I may have forgotten. Also, don't forget Dr Commento's challenge is ON.
Commercial Previews
Unfortunately, we pretty much know what we're in for this year. There has been many leaks. I'm already SICK of the Nationwide/Federline Commercial since they've showed it so many times and talked it to death. I can't WAIT to show no reaction to Budweiser's attempts to be humorous. Yeah! He has an axe, but he had Bud Light. (so take the axe, hit him with it and save him the trouble of having to drink that garbage)
TEN Bud-related commercials this year. 2.6 mill a pop. For that money, they could have just had David Beckham stand there and look pretty for a WHOLE year!
Three GoDaddy.com commercials which HAVEN'T been leaked yet should be fun.
I hope there's some surprises and some quality entertainment or I'm gonna have to watch MY OWN commercials over and over...
On To the BLOG, Statman!
All times posted in MST - Manny Stiles Time
9:00 AM: 3 Hours of NFL Live on ESPN! Woo! Maybe they'll come up with something we haven't heard yet. OK, Michael Irvin IS a Hall of Famer (I'll always remember him as a crumpled pile of silver and blue on the Vet carpet- that was for YOU Eagles Fans)
9:01 AM: Is it too early to start drinking yet? Maybe I'll wait until I fully wake up... maybe
9:10 AM: Time to start preparing for the Super Bowl Commercial Party at Casa de Stiles. Guests will be encouraged to talk through game play and shut the hell up during the commercials, instead of the normal "other way"
One the menu:
- Wings (extra crispy)
- artichoke dip
- chili cheese concoction
- bunch of other stuff I forgot already - "Arizona Spaghetti Sauce" on rolls
- assorted fingerables
- variety of sweets and fruits
- obligatory beer
- assorted "other" adult beverages
9:16 AM: Ooooh, I gotta get a sheet of squares up. What's a Super Bowl party without squares???
9:19 AM: OK, if you just fell onto this planet... Peyton Manning's brother and Dad were also Quarterback's once upon a time...
9:21 AM: American Express commercial with a bunch of animals and Ellen DeGeneres. Isn't that cruelty to animals? (yeah, baby... I'm on a roll already)
9:26 AM: The Stiles children attempt a hostile takeover of the Living Room television and its remote. Not TODAY, kiddies. You're football fans or going in another room! Little Miss Stiles has already been banished from the computer for the weekend.
9:29 AM: I get harassed for the first time concerning the number of comments I make on the site... (rolls eyes)
9:36 AM: I do the first running "FoooooooootBaaaaaaaaaall Wooooo!!!' house-touring chant! That was fun!
9:48 AM: Ray Lewis sighting! Everyone duck!!! (I'm kidding, I LOVE Ray Lewis - I should put a #52 fanbox on)
9:55 AM: I got some cleaning and prepping to do.
HOLY CRAP! it's raining in Miami!!?!?!? That NEVER happens!
10:04 AM: If I'm awake enough to vaccum, I'm awake enough to drink a beer! (Yes, I vaccum. I'll make someone a great wife someday)
10:06 AM: Vaccum break to note this one small finite point. It's great that a black coach will win the Super Bowl today. But it's insignificant (note-worthy at best) to me until there's a Black OWNER winning the Super Bowl. That day, I'll say we "moved forward"
10:12 AM: They always say "White, Black or Green" when they say they don't care about race. I'd be pissed if I was green, worse than those Geico Caveman dudes.
10:20 AM: The "time" piece they lead in with on Game Day is nice. I like historical reference and reverence when talking about Super Bowls past.
10:26 AM: I like the local commercial coverage too. You know where the breaks go from National Corporations big-budget full fledged star pwoered commercials to the low-budget nonamers powered hackjobs. Like the commercials that are WAY TOO loud and screaming car salesmen, or my new favorite that touts "Qwest beats Cox every day"...
10:33 AM: Unofficial count of the Most annoyingly repeated commercial so far - the Back to the Future non-funny spoof for the-I-refuse-to-recognize-the-product placement because the commercial is so dumb - 4 viewings so far
10:47 AM: After the third running, screaming "Foooooootbaaaaaaaall Woooooo!", Little Miss Stiles requested a "SpongeBob Woo!", and it was done...
11:06 AM: We're through the topical stories and into the "touching" stories on CountDown. Is it just me or does ESPN have great commercials? Only problem is the more you see them, the more... I just REMEMBERED!!! SLOPPY JOE's!!! THAT's what we're having. You know them as Sloppy Joe's - We call it "Arizona Spaghetti Sauce"
11:13 AM: OK, I hadn't seen the basketball commercial with the guy that calls 3 seconds, etc. The way it was described to me was WAY funnier than the actual commercial. What a let down. I like the "Mongoose" commercials way better. Another reason to NEVER trust other people's opinions. Yes, I call 3 seconds in pickup ball all the time. Delay of Game T's, illegal Defense, etc.
11:20 AM: Stiles Children are playing with their Stuffed Bears and not any horses to be seen. Guess they're rooting for the Bears today!
11:24 AM: Fourth Financial institution commercial I've seen already. ALL "competitors" with the firm I work for. Of course my firm would never waste money on advertising because it's too busy not ripping the clients off with extraneous fees to make fancy commercials. (Of course, they're also cheap enough to not pay me what I'm 'worth')
Speaking of work, I am "working" harder today than I ever do at "work", so maybe they pay me too much! (mayeb I'm getting paid too little to do this...)
11:28 AM: There's been relatively few "Buy your Official 2007 Blah-blah NFL merchandise item now!" commercials. Just wait...
- it seems the Sports Shaman will make a guest appearance today! He's pretty pissed we'll be pulling him away from the piano to do this, but a few Stiles Brand Crispy Wings will make for good pennance.
11:34 AM: Back to the Future viewing #5...it's a Direct TV ad. How comes MJ Fox douldn't show up for this event? Ellen DeGeneres (Amex) commercial viewing #4. Now it's a tight race!
memo to self - Order Direct TV on my Amex card, then cancel American Express card. I'll show them!
11:40 AM: 20 minutes until PBA on ESPN!!! YEEES!!! Time for a running screaming "PBA! PBA! PBA! Wooooooooo!" (and here I am missing Phil Simms' All-Iron team on CBS...)
11:56 AM: Mrs Stiles is back with party supplies! I forgot about the Rice Krispie treats!!! Old Fashioned AND Peanut Butter!! Who cares there's a game on today? We got 9 hours of commercials, beer, and Rice Krispie treats@!
Four minutes 'til we're switching to CBS coverage and a whole new round of advertisers... "Foooooootbaaaaaaall Woooooooo!"
12:00 Noon!: Pre-Pre-Game coverage begins!!! 4 hours 18 minutes til Billy joel wraps up the National Anthem!!!
12:00 & 16 seconds: Aw crap... Cuba Gooding is still alive! And we're going to see 8,000 clips of Eddie Murphy crossdressing for a movie. I remember when he used to try to pick up crossdressers and not BE a crossdresser.
12:02 PM: Dan Marino was praying to Jobu last night ensuring a Bears victory so people can keep comparing him to Peyton Manning.
12:03 PM: Isn't anyone also hoping for the field to get really, really muddy? (too bad it's sandy in Miami) Imagine Prince running out for halftime and breaking his bad hip and falling in the mud?
12:10 AM: Round One!
- Norbit - I'm gonna have to remember to miss that one.
- Chrysler kicks off the car commercials! they went Bo-ring over funny for the first one.
- Financial Competitior #5 - "TD Ameritrade - taking profits we made from you to pay over-the-hill actors to pretend they know who we are"
- "GHT" - not bad. Miller Lite has the legacy and always comes through.
- NCAA - they advertise because their competition is so tough...
12:18 PM: Round Two!
- Sheryl Crow/Revlon - She sucks...
- Apparently if you buy an Acura, the State will MORE than fix the potholes, they'll add hydraulics to the highway...
- CAVEMAN! CAVEMAN! CAVEMAN! Woooo!
- TWO Sheryl Crow commercials in the same break! Kill me...
- Bears oriented NFLShop.com commercial - bears fan outdone by a Vikings fan - Take the Bears in the Super Bowl as revenge, Vikings fan
12:31 PM: I am keeping a running count of how many car, food, beer, movie and financial institution commercials we view at the Official Party at Casa de Stiles. Also how many times my effing computer locks up (2 so far) First wave of appetizers are about to get under way!
12:38 PM: Tom Brady will be playing golf next weekend on CBS. He'll be playing it today unheralded as well! (Woo! Still on a roll!)
12:41 PM: If they show all of the good parts of Norbit then... wait... IS there any "good" parts?
Yeah! Sheryl Crow is touring with her artificially colored hair! I wonder if Lance Armstrong will be there... D'oh!
Can I get a sarcasm font? "Pets aren't racist" commercial was pretty stupid. Dogs and cats aren't the same race, genus species whatever... black, white, brown, yellow, red and green humans are (take that ya Greenies). My 2 black cats don't get along with ANY other cats and especially not fish, mice or dogs. What are they trying to teach the racists of the world? Are they supposed to lick my own balls, too? I'm confused. HOW did that win a competition?
12:56 PM: Norbert? No, it's a Grammy's Commercial. Same difference; an add for a meaningless pile of crap and absolute waste of money (the event AND the ad).
Local TV News Channel Commercial with a football angle! Wow! How creative!
1:09 PM: With appetizers being prepared, it smells too good in here.
Beer commercials are getting smoked by Cars, Financial Institutions and Movie Commercials in the 'number shown' category. It's still early...
I haven't tracked phone commercials since I don't have a cell phone, nor do I ever plan on being chained down by one. If everyone else has one, why do I need one? I'll just borrow yours...
1:18 PM: Maybe it's just me, but there seems to be a bevy of "aimed at women forced to watch the game" commercials this year... I can't WAIT for that Sheryl Crow tour! Or when I go to Best Buy, those guys will know exactly what my wife needs..
1:25 PM: Am I the only person who NEVER found Jessica Simpson attractive. She looks like she should have a five o'clock shadow to me. And WHAT is she gonna do to make me hungry for pizza? I don't get it.
Guiness... BRILLIANT!
Nationwide begins it run of terror. They're building the drama for their <sarcasm> AMAZING <sarcasm/> advertising platform. The Sanders, Ditka, etc commercial a few years ago was funny. K-Fed is just saaaaad.
"Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Woooooooo!" Running screaming display #8 (including one "Mooooooooooooooooommy!!!Woooooo!". The Stiles Official Children are catching the drift and joining in now. The nieghbors are torn between joining in or calling the cops!
1:30 PM: One Half-Hour to the Post Pre-Pre-Game coverage and on to the Pre-Game coverage!!!
1:35 PM: Caveman! Caveman! Caveman!
CBS lets loose the weblink to ALL of the Super Bowl commercials, which of course, won't be up until the commercials air... so WHY give us the link NOW then jackasses?
They also hype up the Super Bowl ad submission contest "winner". Will it be better than this? I bet it won't have orange striped shorts involved.
Here's a link to a SuperBowl commercial that IS up and running!
1:36 PM: Armen Katayian is the Jack Arute of Pro Football
1:51 PM: The NFL has a commercial advertising the NFL Network on CBS. I'm SURE CBS is happy with that...
1:55 PM: There's an unknown law that restricts the NFL to allow only musical artists that are older than the merger to play the Super Bowl.
You saw what happened 3 years ago when they allowed Justin Timberlake on stage. (How was that NOT sexual assault? Rodman got nailed on a lesser charge than that)
Whoops. I was typing that when an ad for the upcoming Police concert was shown. I wonder if B.B. King is available?
2:03 PM: We finally get the LAST Dungy and Smith are black coaches story. Nice job by Lovie to state "we're gonna talk about it, we might as well make it a psoitive"
Still no mention of Manny Stiles' favorite point in this story: There's still NO black owners...
And Green people are getting madder by the day.
2:10 PM The artist formerly know as Prince, then a symbol, then Prince again is playing, The artist formerly know as Prince, then a symbol, then Prince again is playing!
Te NFL does it again! Songs from 20+ years ago RULE!!!
Way to nail your demographic, No Fun League
2:15 PM: As I mentioned before on this site, Mrs. Stiles' elementary school was torn down to make way for the Colts franchise with their move in 1984. Still, she has family in Indianpolis and is a Colts fan.
Indianapolis folks truly deserve some love from the Sports-gods. They are live-hard fans who love their teams unlike the methods of the rest of the world.
Note- Financial Institutions Commercials and Food Commercials are tied at '10 viewed' by the official Super Bowl party at Casa de Stiles. Too bad I didn't track insurance companies, they'd be running away with it!
Number 11 for Food! TGI Friday's - way to advertise food during the Super Bowl, schmucks... "Oh, let's leave all of this wonderful food here to go eat at Friday's!!!" Right...
2:22 PM: The neighbors are having a party too! There goes the parking...
2:24 PM: the dumb commercials are rolling in now...
- Taco Bell is racist - their rat-dog is Mexican, but their Lions aren't African?
- I love the Air Force 25 commercial except that it makes me feel REAL old. I remember strapping on a pair of original Air Forces (my second pair of Nike's after the velcro-enhanced Runners)
- If car companies stopped advertising, would people stop buying cars? Hmmm...
2:27 PM: How can you not like Leslie Visser's efforts? I'm not saying she's hot or anything, but she ALWAYS does a good job. We can fight about if you want... Isn't she married to Dick Stockton? OK, there's one reason to dislike her...
- well, her hair looks like sh!t today, too...
2:32: Ok, Miami IS perfect for the Super Bowl... the Miami Vice theme song, the retirees, Prince, Billy Joel, Stevie Nicks... NFL heaven! 364 more days until the "Suuuuuuuuuper Booooooooooooowl in ARIZONAaaaaaaaaaaaa next year!@!!! Woooooooooo!"
2:35 PM: I'm convinced if there was a commercial for a placebo, people would ask their doctor about it.
2:37 PM: FINALLY!!! Someone clowned Dennis Green's post-Monday Night Football press conference... or should I say "Crowned"
Oh! people are rolling in... the blog may get spastic from here!
2:46 PM: Katie Couric crawls out from under the desk to promote how <sarcasm> GREAT <sarcasm/> of an organization CBS is... I already miss when we used to call 'em Viacom.
3:00 PM: One pukey son incident and a shower later, I'm back! One hour + formalities away from game time!!!
3:11 PM: We're down one crock pot and needed to have party participants go to the store to pick up forgotten items, but FOOD IS ON!!!
Beer commercials are begining to make their move... people are starting to drink, I suppose.
Caveman Commercial #5!!!
The squares chart is filled and numbers to be drawn in a moment!
3:12 PM: Good job 'Jadore' by Dior! The stripping-naked Charlize Theron (or Charlize-looking impersonator/model) concept is always a good idea...
3:13 PM: The Grammy Awards will include non-professional entertainers for the first time. So even if they suck, they'll still be better than the Grammy winners! Way to not give into the American Idol appeal, CBS... whoops!
3:15 PM: Archie Manning sighting! Someone PLEASE get me a translator so I can enjoy this!
3:19PM: The Manny Stiles official Mother-in-law just called from Indianapolis tto inform us that she was the ONLY person in the grocery store she went ot NOT wearing a Colts jersey. Also, ALL of the food was available in blue. Potato chips, potato salad deviled eggs, everything!
3:20: First Peyton Manning commercial airs! Can you feel the tension?
3:32: Manny is getting drunk, the party is lighting up, the footabll game is less than an hour away, I wish EVERY day was like this...
If you're a true, TRUE football fan, you have your house temperature set to gametime temperature, lucky for me, it's nice as hell outside right now!
3:33 PM: Dan Marino interviews Peyton Manning and takes a crack at him asking him if he could possibly be in ANY more commercials. Good one, Isotoner Boy... Dan Marino, Hall of Fame turd.
