The NFL's All-Time Criminals

In light of Chris Henry's latest run-in with the law, I present to you the all-time best fugitives to ever grace the gridiron. Apologies go out to Mr. Henry himself, however, for he has spent too much time behind bars instead of on the field to make the team.

QB - Steve McNair
Arrested in May of 2003 for drunk driving, a search of his Lincoln Navigator later turned up a 9mm handgun. The record, combined with the 27,000 yards passing and 192 total touchdowns are good enough to make the team. Honorable mentions for this go out to Broadway Joe Namath, who was oh so close to making the list due to sexual harrassment, and Peyton Manning, who was actually one of those listed by a University of Tennessee trainer as among those who did harrass her, although disciplinary action was handled by the coach.

RB - O.J. Simpson
Although he's "100% innocent," being charged with a double murder gets him on the list.

RB - Jim Brown
Had two charges of rape dropped against him, once in 1965, the other in 1985, once allegedly choked his golf partner (NO YOU CANNOT PLAY THROUGH!), smashed the windows of his wife's car after threatening to snap her neck, and had charges dropped in a 1968 case after he allegedly threw his fiancee off a balcony.

WR - Michael Irvin
Turns out that cameo in The Longest Yard remake wasn't so far off. Irvin's got a record that's like the Energizer Bunny.

WR - Randy Moss
Completing the most feared receiving duo in the history of football is sports' ultimate road rager. Moss was arrested in 2002 after allegedly trying to run over a traffic agent.

TE - Mark Chmura
The former Green Bay Packer was arrested after attending a post-prom party and sexually assaulting a 17-year old girl. I never thought Super Bowl champs were that hard-pressed to find legal women.

OL - Nate Newton
Newton was caught with 213 pounds of marijuana in 2001, then two weeks later was caught with another 175 pounds. He served two years in jail and has recently come clean about his smuggling days, stating ""It was all the fun the law would allow...and then some."

OL - Bryant McKinnie
Ahh, the Love Boat. (Note: the term "Love" is being used very loosely.)

OL - Kenyatta Walker
Walker was arrested for disorderly conduct (a rather light charge for this list) in 2003 in New York City.

OL - Barret Robbins
Among the NFL's Weed Crew, Robbins went missing before the 2003 Super Bowl while with the Oakland Raiders. He was later charged for attempted murder, and was also arrested for marijuana while awaiting that trial.

DL - Dana Stubblefield
In 2000, Stubblefield was arrested after an argument between he and his wife escalated into a fight. He was charged with assault, though he insisted that only words were exchanged.

LB - Lawrence Taylor
In the words of Rick James, "Cocaine's a hell of a drug."

LB - Ray Lewis
Presenting the other "100% innocent" murderer. Still, it helped spawn the greatest fake sports headline ever, courtesy of the Sports Pickle (speaking of which, this week's top headline is pure gold): "Ray Lewis Wondering Who He Has to Kill to Get Traded."

CB - Deion Sanders
According to thesmokinggun.com, Primetime was arrested after being caught fishing on a private lake owned by the Southwest Florida International Airport.

CB - Ty Law
Law is apparently not above it, as he was stopped by police, then told them not to touch him because he "was a professional athlete."

CB - Ricky Manning, Jr.
Manning, fresh off a new deal with the Chicago Bears, and his posse allegedly laid down the law on some poor guy in a Los Angeles restaurant in 2005.

S - Eugene Robinson
Robinson reportedly offered about 40 bucks to an undercover police officer for a b.j. the day before he was supposed to make his third straight Super Bowl start. Apparently, he had the baby batter on the brain and didn't want to go out with a loaded gun.

S - Sean Taylor
The budding Washington Redskin was arrested after an altercation broke out when his all-terrain vehicles were taken. He was originally charged with pointing a gun during the dispute, though he denied having a gun.

Second Team?

RB - Ricky Williams
Littering and...Littering and...Littering and...Potheads usually aren't this productive unless there's a sale at the supermarket on Cheetos. Although he has never been charged with his highly publicized marijuana use, Williams was arrested, however, for failure to sign a traffic ticket in 2000. Ricky makes The Big List if other running backs hadn't been raging psychopaths.

RB - Najeh Davenport
Probably the strangest of the crimes listed, Davenport was charged with breaking into a woman's dorm room and defecating into a laundry basket her closet. Criminal charges against the Packer running back were settled via community service in 2002, but the woman sued Davenport in 2004.

WR - Rae Carruth
Although not good enough of an NFL star to make it onto the first team, Carruth gets a mention for conspiring to murder a woman pregnant with his child. He was sentenced to 18 to 24 years in prison.

On their way:

Santonio Holmes, Pittsburgh Steelers draft pick - arrested for disorderly conduct
Cory Rodgers, Green Bay Packers draft pick - arrested on gun charges
Rhett Bomar, Oklahoma Sooners quarterback - received six months probation for alcohol possession by a minor.

Feel free to add anybody you feel I've missed. These are the ones I could remember/find as quickly as possible.