The MLB All-Name Team 2007
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by user Tylersalt
I had a friend that has built some truly bad fantasy teams over the past few years. And each year, when he's ready to throw in the towel, he starts picking up guys because they have really great names. In honor of him, I give you the 2007 MLB All-Name Team!
1B: Doug Mientkiewicz, New York Yankees This should really be a no-brainer. If a lot of people can't spell your last name, then you get a spot on the All-Name Team, even if you can't hit. (Backup: Nomar Garciaparra)
2B: Mark Grudzielanek, Kansas City Royals Same reasoning as Minky above. Grudzielanek gives the team some veteran presence up the middle. Also, he and Mientkiewicz formed half of the longest-named infield in ML history with Kansas City last year along with Angel Berroa and Tony Graffanino. (Backup: Dan Uggla)
SS: Yuniesky Betancourt, Seattle Mariners I will personally give you a dollar if you can find anyone else named Yuniesky. Fine Print: Offer not valid ever. (Backup: tie between Troy Tulowitzki and Alfredo Amezaga)
3B: Chone Figgins, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Chone? Really? Learn how to spell. I thought his name was pronounced phonetically for almost a full season when I didn't watch a lot of baseball on TV. (Backup: Esteban German)
LF: Terrmel Sledge, San Diego Padres I think his name was misspelled on a lot of baseball sites for a long time (with only one 'r'). Honestly, I can't blame them. Every time I say it now (which is not often, granted), I want to roll the 'r', like "Terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmel Sledge." (Backup: Lastings Milledge)
CF: Coco Crisp, Boston Red Sox Coco can't hit or throw, but he'll always have a starting spot here on the All-Name Team, even if Coco is just a nickname. Actually, his real first name is Covelli, so he still might be here. (Backup: tie between Nook Logan and Alejandro De Aza)
RF: Trot Nixon, Cleveland Indians Again, nobody is actually named "Trot." Gotta have some bat power here, and there weren't too many other cool-sounding names at right. (Backup: Skip Schumacher)
SP: Boof Bonser, Minnesota Twins...Although apparently someone is actually named Boof. That's fantastic. (Rest of the rotation: Kelvim Escobar, Tom Gorzelanny, Wandy Rodriguez)
CP: Yhency Brazoban, Los Angeles Dodgers A few years ago, Brazoban was the lowest-ranked player in Yahoo!'s fantasy rankings, and had a great name, so he became an instant inside joke in our league. He's actually become a decent reliever now. (Rest of the bullpen: Ambriorix Burgos, Kiki Calero, Cla Meredith, Jon Coutlangus, Jason Isringhausen)
Suggestions are welcome!
