The LaBeouf of the Week 5
| 5
|
I (the Yammy) am a child trapped in a man’s body, and I (as well as other staff writers here at FleaFanatics.com) think Shia LaBeouf is a funny term that sounds like isht the bed, in French. Every week, this column will focus not on the fantasy players who have done well, but just the opposite. The Shia LaBeouf of the Week will be given to the fantasy player who had the highest expectations (whether for the week or the entire fantasy season) and instead Shia LaBeouf’d (performed miserably, for those of you who do not speak French). So, without further adieu (as I try to somewhat keep the French theme…feel free to send all hate mail to the Shimmering T), the Yammy gives you the Shia LeBeoufs of the week.
This week was a disaster for my squads, hence the tardiness of the column. Guess where my wrath begins…with you Marc Bulger. Last week, you were one of the runner ups to the LaBeouf of the Week award. This week, you left a load in the bed that not only ruined my pristine sheets, but soiled the comforter as well. Yea, I have heard all of the excuses; no offensive line; 2 broken ribs; no Steven Jackson now; yada, yada yada. You know what, even with all those excuses, you still should not be this bad, Mr. Marc “Small” Bulge-er. You have been so bad (114 yards, 0 tds, 1 int, 42.7 rating) that the Rams felt the need to start Gus “He’s still in the league” Frerotte this week. The Dallas secondary was notorious for allowing passing yards all over the field, yet Mr. Small Bulge-er could do nothing but take an embarrassing dump all over the Dallas star. Thankfully, he will ride the pine this week, and owners will not have to worry about telling themselves, “this is the week the Rams offense turns it around.” Stay tuned next week for a similar conversation about Drew Brees.
This week, I am going to try something different. Instead of only complaining about a player’s past performance, I am going to attempt to predict who will win the Shia LaBeouf Award for the upcoming week. Some guidelines: I will try and steer clear of obvious calls, like Jamal Lewis against the Patriots D, or Warrick Dunn against the Titans (who give up the 2 nd least rushing yards per game). Instead, I will try and choose a stud who just falls apart (Like Fast Willie last week, who was in contention for last week’s LaBeouf).
After careful consideration, Frank Gore is in for a bad day. Not only is his quarterback gone, but Baltimore has the 4 th lowest rushing yards allowed. The 49ers were considered an up and coming contender because of Alex Smith’s improvements and Frank Gore’s incredible rushing ability. Well, Smith is done, most likely for the season, meaning that the Baltimore D line will be more stacked than vintage Pam Anderson. If you think Billick doesn’t know Trent Dilfer’s capabilities, you are sorely mistaken. The bad blood between those 2 runs deep, so look for a salivating Ravens’ D to stop San Fran’s entire offense. If I were a Frank Gore owner, I would have the plastic sheets ready. Hide the good linens; Frankie is having chili con queso for dinner on Saturday night.
-The Yammy (special thanks to the Golden Boy, acting as editor and traveled the many miles to Sweet Home, Alayama) at www.fleafanatics.com
