The Knicks Are In Hate With Larry Brown (Still)
| 2
|
The first story comes from Chicago (earlier this week), where the Bulls mascot attacked an off-duty police officer via motorcycle at the Taste of Chicago festival.Bennie the Bull (mascot) tasted something alright. The incident took place because Bennie did not have a permit for the motorcycle. The off-duty officer was working security, tried to stop the mascot, and a B-movie-cop-bad-guy pursuit was in order.
Barry Anderson, the Benny the Bull mascot, was charged with misdemeanor battery and driving within a parkway. The 26-year-old man is accused of throwing a punch at the sheriff's deputy, knocking off his glasses and breaking his watch.
"It would be premature to make any comment at this point until all the information is gathered," Bulls spokesman Tim Hallam said.
Another Bulls incident occured when 'Da Bull' was sent to probation for 1 1/2 years for possession of weed with 'intent to deliver'. By that, ESPN means 'sell', or 'make someone's weekend', or 'make somebody forget their life sucks for half an hour'.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2509090
Continuing the Bennie case, Erin Sullivan of the Orlando Sentinel went all out and tried to find some dirt on the Chicago mascot. She unwisely turned to Stuff, the mascot of the Orlando Magic.
The assignment sounded simple enough. Get an interview with Stuff, the hideously green and fuzzy mascot of the Orlando Magic. It seemed like a reasonable thing to do. He (or is it a she or just an it?) was performing at TD Waterhouse Centre in the Celebrity Mascot Games.
So, with all this in mind, it was time to find Stuff, and you figured the interview might go like this:
"Hey, Stuff, will you talk with me?"
Silence.
"Um, why not?"
Silence.
"So, ah, is something wrong with your vocal cords?"
Silence.
"He doesn't talk," said Brian Schmitz, the Magic beat writer for the Sentinel. Schmitz has talked to the man inside Stuff -- but when he's in full dragon gear, nothing on the record. He's tried to get a printable interview with Stuff for years.
"I've tried, but they go Marcel Marceau on me," Schmitz said. "They want to keep the mystique of the character like the ones at Disney. You don't see Mickey Mouse giving press conferences. They want to keep the sanctity of that, which I understand.
Mickey-Mouse-wannabe or not, Stuff knows something and is concealing.
After several methods of bone-crunching torture, Stuff finally talks.
It went like this:
"Hey, Stuff, will you talk with me?"
"Sure."
"What? He's talking. This could be the Holy Grail of mascot interviews.
"OK."
He went on to say his name was Robert Wilson. He is 42.
"Call me Bo," he said.
"OK, Bo. So, what do you think of the Bennie-the-Bull incident?"
"I like to entertain the kids," he said. "Every time I put a smile on someone's face, that's my enjoyment."
...."this tells me nothing about Bennie the Bull. Do you know who he is?"
" I LOVE to entertain kids."
"Still nothing. I don't care about the kids. Screw the kids....Bennie? Yes, no..?"
"I LOVE the FREAKIN' KIDS!"
....."Jesus Christ."
Nothing, Stuff the Green Thing remains elusive. Elusive, and a-damn-good-example-of-an-opposite-of-a-snitch.
______________________________________________________________________________
Several of Larry Brown's former students (wastes of roster cap and space) have been hurling insults galore at their former coach. The Knick gag order is up and words have been tossed like a salad:
Dunk-specialist and Spud Webb impersonator, Nate Robinson, hurls the first stone:
"Coach Brown is so old-school," point guard Nate Robinson told the New York Post. "He wants everything done just like this, not getting the crowd involved. Isiah wants everyone to have fun.
"At first he [Brown] was trying to take my joy [away] -- don't do this, don't do that. At the same time I had people in my corner saying, 'Don't ever change who you are. You got here by being who you are. By being Nate Robinson,'" he said.
What we think:
(picture a baby crying)
It wooks wike somebody's got a case of the boo boo boo boos.
David Lee adds the last punch to the unofficial '2006 Larry Brown Roast':
"Toward the end of the season it was so up and down," another of the rookies, forward David Lee, told the Post. "I told myself when I get on the floor just make the most of the opportunity because I didn't really understand what was going on.
(picture another crying baby)
"I didn't ask too many questions," added Lee, who went in and out of the starting lineup. "I couldn't figure out what was going on. It's a lot easier to play when you know what's expected out of you. I think things will change that way and people will have a better idea of what they're supposed to do."
....because we all know that Larry Brown doesn't know what the hell he's doing.
Final thoughts on the comments:
(baby crying)
What these Knicks should do with Larry Brown:
Apologize. We're serious.
This post can be seen at Shaun Lehmkuhl's blog on http://spawnnsports.blogspot.com/2006/07/knicks-still-hate-larry-brown-first.html.
Source
- The World-Wide Leader in Sports
Date
Sun 07/09/06, 7:44 pm EST
