The Fast Fifteen: Things Shaun Alexander Does on His Day Off
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by SSreporters
"We've got the 2005 MVP Shaun back"- Mike Holmgren.....clearly on drugs.
Shaun Alexander is a running back with talent. That talent was destroyed after these recent injuries. But still, he may not even get 600 yards this season. Time to make some fun of good old #37. The following is not true, although it could happen.
15. While picking the gifts he wants to give to kids at the Westlake mall, he can't get through the crowd of men and women, runs backwards, falls down.
14. Taking his afternoon jog, Shaun is being chased by two Rottweilers, Shaun runs sideways, falls with no one touching him, leaves hospital with minor injuries.
13. Running the 100 yard dash at Husky stadium in a charity match against Seahawks teammates, Shaun hears the guns sound, falls promptly to the ground.
12. Whenever Tiki or Ronde Barber come to Seattle, Shaun carefully examines Tiki, Ronde.
11. Shaun watches highlights of himself on Madden '08, making him assured he still has it.
10. Shaun's best friend throws him his car keys, Shaun drops it, keys land at bottom of sewer system.
9. Constantly looks at touchdown celebrations with Joey Fatone.....says he can't wait to try then in 2017.
8. Plays pick up football match in Bellevue, stat numbers include 45 yards rushing on 20 carries, 1 catch for 2 yards, 5 dropped passes in narrow 16-9 win over local middle school team.
7. Calls Mike Holmgren 105 times to apologize for the whole "stabbing in the back" incident.
6. Back at Husky Stadium, Shaun will take a 1 lap run around the track, people grab calendars to time him.
5. Takes interviews for local radio station KJR, hosts run trick saying there is a big guy coming to tackle you, Shaun falls out of his chair.
4. Shaun heads to a local high school, lies down in the end zone for 40 minutes to know what it feels like to score a touchdown again.
3. Scientists and doctors give up with Alexander after putting stick um, duct tape, the whole nine yards, and he still can't catch a football.
2. Shaun immediately calls Jerramy Stevens and Koren Robinson about how to catch a football.
1. Brainwashes Mike Holmgren into believing he is borderline competent at running north to south.
Now that the frustration is out of the way, I can enjoy my winter break! Two weeks away from school!
