The Fast Fifteen: Signs You Have Tim McCarver Syndrome
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by SSreporters
There is a major epidemic going around the US. Are you suffering from Tim McCarver Syndrome? If you don't, here are some symptoms of this sickness.
15. Your name is Tim McCarver.
14. Students are dropping out of your sex education class.
13. You give a 10 page report on how a fan works when your teacher only asked you how hot it was.
12. You're called in to calm kids with ADHD by just speaking for 2 seconds.
11. The school of the deaf fires you because you're too boring.
10. Your nickname is "No S%^* Sherlock"
9. Ben Stein thinks you are boring.
8. Dying your hair 50 different colors after every telecast.
7. Share with people 70 anecdotes on a typical day.
6. People long for Joe Buck after listening to you.
5. People long for Jay Mariotti after listening to you.
4. ArmchairGM has 50 straight articles based on your stupidity.
3. FOX Sports thinks you suck.
2. State the obvious more than 4 times per hour.
1. Think C-Span is "like porn, only better".
