The Fast Fifteen: Guarantees That Never Came True
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by SSreporters
Anthony Smith is by far the worst person in the world in the minds of Steelers fans with an epic "We're going to beat the Pats" guarantee. Looking back at "history", I've found some very interesting promises that were not to be.
15. Matt Hasselbeck at the Packers/Seahawks game: "We want the ball and we're going to score" (True)
14. For the 8th year in a row, myth expert Donny Johnson promised that the Madden curse is going to end.
13. Tom Brady has promised his wife that he is a strong supporter of safe sex.
12. Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe incorrectly guaranteed that Bill Belichick would smile after every game they win this season.
11. John Madden guaranteed that he would give his fair share of knob-slobbering to every QB to the league not named Favre or Brady or Manning.
10. SSReporters guaranteed that he would stop writing badly about ESPN.
9. Soccer player David Beckham: "I will score goals that are not penalties or free kicks"
8. This has been 14 weeks in a row in which Dolphins players are confident that they are going to win.
7. Charlie Weis promised that they would indeed make a BCS game with a 3 win record.
6. Joe Buck promised to be very excited during the NFL season.
5. The Florida Marlins management guaranteed that they would have record attendances.
4. ESPN promised to devote more coverage towards west coast professional teams.
3. Your current cable provider guaranteed the NFL Network would be free.
2. Before tip off, Isiah Thomas boldly stated that the Knicks would indeed keep his job.....oh wait....
1. Philadelphia continues to guarantee that they will win the Super Bowl, the NBA Finals, the Stanley Cup, and the World Series.
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