The Commandments of Bill
| 5
|
http://afraidofedhochuli.blogspot.com/ [1]
With the play of Tony Romo reaching heights that only his mother could have imagined, we have been bombarded with Bill Parcells’s Commandments.
If you haven’t heard of these, they are the “rules” that Parcells’s gives to his Quarterbacks. They mentioned it on Monday Night Football and now he was on Sportscenter telling them to us. (Like Spinal Tap he goes to 11)
So I decided that seeing as how he has coached a couple of good QBs, I would put together what the REAL Bill Parcells Commandments should be.
The Following is: The Commandments of “Farce”lls (*clever*)
1)Thou shall not date an American Idol.
a. If you break this rule, break up with her as quickly as possible and tell the “teen” magazines that she broke up with you, causing you unspeakable amounts of grief.
2)Thou shall not back up Drew Bledsoe or Vinny Testaverde.
a. We have all learned that he is only good for one season in any given place.
b. If you find yourself behind one of these geriatrics, pay them (whatever you must) to fake an injury or “forget” how to play.
3)Thou shall have no emotion
a. It’s okay to smile when speaking, but don’t let the media in too much. They will eat you alive.
4)Thou shall worship your coach
a. Your coach is your God.
b. If you do not like him he WILL throw you under the bus.
5)Thou shall trust your receivers
a. You can’t throw a pass, so trust that they will catch them.
6)Thou shall always pretend that you “meant” to do it
a. Say things like: “They bailed me out,” and “our defense was great tonight”.
7)Thou shall not worry about job security
a. If you ever get injured or become like number 2, I will bring you to my next stop.
8)Thou shall be attractive.
a.If you are not: take a year off for “undisclosed reasons” and get it fixed
9)Thou shall never expect your coach to stick around.
a. You will be lucky to get 4 years out of him
10)Don’t ever worry about poor play
a. No matter how bad you play against a terrible defense, we will STILL compare you to Brett Favre during NFL live.
