The Comeback of "Old School" Sports!
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by user Jamel
Old School!
Centuries and centuries ago man participated in many activities that we now call "sports." Just as one day a crazy Canadian placed a peach basket (or apple or whatever) high up on a wall and thru a ball in it, or the day another crazy Canadian decided to slide on a patch of ice and whack a rock with a stick, or the other time a drunk Canadian thru a pig in the air to another friend and ran 100 yards thru a field for no apparent reason yelling "tackle me tackle me!" "games" eventually evolved into today's "sports". 1000s of different sports exist throughout the world and we see from time to time a particular sport regain popularity-- remember the ping pong crazy that Forrest Gump revived??!! The new hot sport of 2007........ animal fighting!!!!
The gladiators used tigers and lions, the spanish have had bull fighting for centures, the Africans sit on top of elephants and play soccer with them-- the Americans...... use dogs and roosters.
A man named Michael Vick is trying his best to bring back the popular sports of DOG FIGHTING. This sport can consist of having one dog fight another dog (as Mr Vick loves) or have be a dog vs pig (for more info read about dog-hog family time here or as my good friend Toko controls: dog vs rat. Now, this is an article on animal rights, PETA, how well the animals are really treated (Vick spends 1000s of dollars- more than $100 per day on each dog and treats them like gods), how these dogs have it better than slaves, no this is a colum about these sports.
Dog vs Dog
So what is the best dog to use for this sport? English bull terrier? Staffordshire bull terrior? American pit bull? German Shephard? I honestly don't know but what I do know is that you want a large, low slung, heavy breed with a powerful build and strongly developed head. That makes the best sports dog vs dog fight fighter. And I also do know that as Mr Clayton Esquire mentioned you need to feed them lots of steaks.
Dog vs Hog
Hog dogging, hawg dawgin', hog baiting, hog dog "rodeos": They're all terms for a sport known as hog dog fighting. An owner leads his trained pit bull into an enclosed pen. At the other end of the ring, the "handler" shoves a feral pig, or hog, through a chute into the pen. He will use a cattle prod if the hog, who has faced these dogs before, hesitates. And just in case the hog had any notion of trying to defend himself, the handler has already taken the precaution of removing his tusks with bolt cutters. 1-2-3 and the sports begins. Pit bulls are used for this sports and hog dog fights regularly occur in at least ten states: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Texas. Unfortunately for me- no Illinois.
Dog vs Rat
No research needed: A friend of mine Toko leads the nations biggest Dog-Rat Sport out of his basement. A ring is formed, dog placed in the middle, and a bag full of rats are dropped into the ring. This sporting event occurs until all the rats are dead- winner is the person who puts the most effort into researching how long this will take. Middle to small terriers work best for this sport: Toko uses his cute little Bichon Frise for this sport- Chomper. Chomper is the King of the Rat and is treated again better than any slave in history-- black, white, asian, etc etc.
So, you are probably asking me: Does this sport only involve dogs????
Lucky for us the anser is NO! Roosters are also used. Cockfighting is legal in the Philippines, Mexico and parts or all of five U.S. states - Arizona, Louisiana, Missouri, New Mexico and Oklahoma. Matches also can be found in Ireland, Colombia, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Jamaica and Puerto Rico. However, a columnist* in the Chicago area is trying to bring this national sport to Illinois. He goes by "R.J. Mary Ti-Ti" and he runs the best cock on cock events. I interviewed him over lunch and quickly learned that he loves cocks. "I usually find that the bigger the cock the better. I love a big strong huge cock. A great cock is one that has a hard pecker. A pecking cock. The faster and stronger the cock can peck the better it is"- R.J. Mary Ti-Ti. Pictures of cocks were plastored all over the house. I was even lucky enough to hold his great prize cock "Ozzie" and witness first hand a cock on cock battle. "Geno" vs "Paco". Geno has a problem where he gets lazy. "He gets all excited and runs out of steam- no stamina- he is what we call a lazy peker. Paco on the otherhand is a pretty good cock. He is big, strong, and healthy but he doesn't like to peck all the time. I can only use him once a week. Ozzie is the king of cocks- great pecker, lots of stamina, very strong, pecks all the time. It's like he was meant to be my favorite cock" R.J. told me. So how much does he spend of cocks. $200 per cock per day. "It's not about the money", Mr. Mary Ti-Ti explains, "You really have to love the sport and love cocks."
(In case you are wondering Paco won).
So, we can only wait and hope that these great sports thrive to their fullest potentials. Also great to drink beer to and as Toko told me earlier "Cheerleaders will be brought into this sports very very soon".
The End. A column entirely dedicated to sports.
Thank-you. Thank-you very much.
God Bless.
Jamel Bryant.
