The Bright Side of 755 and 756
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by I am a cpcp
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle,
And this'll help things turn out for the best, and...
Heed the words of Eric Idle. There is a bright side to Barry Bonds tying and inevitably taking over Hank Aaron 's home run record. In fact there is a very bright side.
It took me awhile to find it myself, I dislike Bonds as much as the next guy and I agree with that next guy about how Aaron doesn't deserve a guy like Bonds taking his top spot, too. So where did I find this bright side? I remembered the story of Charlie Morton and a small town marching band.
Yeah, a marching band, I know, but keep reading and you may just feel better about Barry Boy.
Charlie Morton was the high school band director at my high school for probably a good 40 years. He may have been good in his day, but by the time I was about to enter high school, he was old and just didn't care about having a great band anymore. But he was a great guy, the students loved him and he (in an appropriate way) loved the students. He was one of the most beloved people in our community and his retirement was like losing a loved one to most of the band members.
Charlie Morton's replacement was Doug Dawson. Dawson was a young guy, fresh out of college with only his student teaching under his belt. He was eager to get into his first job, he was talented at music and was in a good-sized school to start his career. That is, if it wasn't for Charlie Morton. The seniors, juniors and sophomores only knew marching band though the lackadaisical, chill out and have fun stylings of Charlie Morton. This new, college-trained drill sergeant was not what they were used to and they did not like it. Dawson had his work cut out for him trying to mold this group of slackers into the top tier competition band he'd dreamed of leading.
This small marching band of 60 students (down from the 100 or so Morton had) made life hell for Dawson. They ignored what he said, pulled pranks on him, the seniors randomly didn't show up on Friday nights for games. He got no respect at all and it wasn't because he didn't deserve it, he was good at his job, he got no respect because of the memory of Charlie Morton. Dawson plowed through four years at the school, willing himself to see his first freshman class graduate before leaving education and selling real estate a few states away.
Enter band director number three: Randy Kaserman. Although the memory of Charlie Morton was fading, as all of his former students were now graduated, the fresh memory was of the target known as Doug Dawson. The current students were molded and shape to loathe Dawson and treat him with as little respect as Dawson. Kaserman was viewed as a savior to the band for taking Dawson's place and instantly became one of the favorite teachers in the school. He's now been there almost six years, has doubled the size of the band and regularly competes in band shows. If Kaserman would have come in after Morton, he would have suffered a similar fate as Dawson, but that middle guy cut the size of Morton's shoes in half.
As you've probably deducted by now, Charlie Morton represents Hank Aaron. The classic, the favorite, the respected. Of course, Charlie Morton was a big, fat white guy, but that doesn't matter in this equation.
Doug Dawson represents Barry Bonds. He's taking the place of a legend. He's different, there's things about him that are easy to not like and he's tarnishing our memories of what was a great thing.
The bright side to Barry Bonds breaking the home run record is that we get to look forward to the Randy Kaserman. The one that squashes the memory of Bonds and makes everything good again.
It was inevitable that Aaron's record would be broken with the way that baseball has changed. It's better that it was first broken by someone we already hate so we can hate him anymore and then we can really celebrate when it's broken again. Be it A-Rod, be it Ryan Howard, be it someone we haven't even heard of yet. So for now...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
