Take Ocho Cinco the Horse to Win
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by user LastRow
Would you take a look at that, the Cincinnati Bengals aren’t just known for wearing the stripes proudly in the offseason by going jail hopping…For they have a new honor to gloat about. While Kobayashi may be no match for a bear in eating hot dogs 
…It should be worth noting that all the four-year old thoroughbreds out there are not on the same level as Chad Johnson as he proved yesterday. Surprisingly enough Chad didn’t have to jump off sides either. I wonder what’s next for Chad’s act…Hey, maybe a challenge to golf with Tiger? Blindfolding Woods of course.
We all know the Bungals, if there’s not any bad news coming out of their camp, well there’s just no news at all. As for that gloating thing I mentioned…Check out what they posted on their official website:
Chad Johnson stunned the world Saturday when he beat a four year old thoroughbread at River Downs by a dozen lengths. Johnson, who ran 110 yards compared to Restore The Roar's 220, said the Bengals are going to go to the Super Bowl now and do what the Colts did last year.
Oh really, the horse talks…What is he related to Mr. Ed somehow? "Wilber". Oh no wait a minute, that was Chad opening his pie hole again in saying that. Sorry, my bad, I got confused...Sometimes you sound like a horse yappin.Yep, that’s a key element to winning the Super Bowl if I ever saw one. Definitely I can see how the correlation between beating a horse and being the AFC’s best is one in the same. Although I don’t think the NFL is going to give you guys a head start…I’m doubting Goodell, (although I know he’s a very close friend of the Bengals) is going to start you cats at 8-0 on the season. Damn, forgot that little part Chad, did you?
Look, I know this "horse race" was a charity event…And that should be commended! Problem is somehow in that pee picking brain of yours you really do actually think you beat it. Um yeah, there’s no "reality" on Planet Ocho Cinco. So you beat a horse…Congratulations are in store then, right? A member of the Bengals making news for other than heading to jail…Well then congrats on beating that horse. Oh I guess we should then never mind you were spotted a 100-meter lead due to the horse having more legs. The Bengals might come up short in Paul Brown Stadium, but at Cincinnati's River Downs race track the Colts are second fiddle. And when it was over, when C. J. was waiting at the finish line for The Roar…Well, as usual he was anything but humble opening up cake air and blowing like a dragon. He’s already to take on boxing, basketball and NASCAR. "Floyd Mayweather, you're next," Johnson said. "I want to fight you. I'd like to take Kobe and LeBron one-on-one. Jeff Gordon, we can take a couple laps. ... Now it's my time to take over the race world." So Mayweather’s going to spot you nine rounds? Kobe and LeBron’s going to spot you 19 in a game of 21? Hell, doesn’t Tiger woods spot you 100 shots on the golf course? We’ve all see your golfing skills on Battle of the Gridiron Stars…Rivaling Restore’s pass catching ability. However, you may give Michelle Wie all she can handle…Plus, she likes playing against the fellas. Michael Phelps anyone? Although all of which would be more charity events to benefit the Feed The Children foundation, so all of this silliness is for a good cause. One thing I must know…I’m guess you have a charity event checklist too that you check off? Is there a check beside Restore The Roar's 220?
Hey Chad, how’s your hot dog mowwing down technique…Care to inhale some wieners on Coney Island of the Fourth of July for your next charity event? What’s the Fourth without some reverse regurgitation…Plus, I imagine that’s the only way to stop the noise that’s always coming out of you. See, we all love you, well at least I do…I think you’re good for the game. You recognize that you’re an entertainer besides being a legitimate NFL wide receiver…I agree with the notion the league needs more of Chad Johnsons…Although I’m not sure it could handle more? Whether it’s a prank or a playoff, Mr. Johnson can not only put people in the seats but he can also make people come out of them as a crowd of about 8,000 showed up for this charity event to do.
While his antics on the football field draws attention to himself, surprisingly on this day…Even in racing a horse, his agenda was that of a different one. Oh, it was still to be entertaining and outspoken like we’ve come accustomed to from Ocho, but through autographed items and his showdown with Restore which brought in $7,000 which will benefit the group that took him to Kenya back in March… "This was for children at his school (where) literally that is going to be the one meal they’ll get." And for that I say more people should be like him… Kudos Chad! Finally some go "pub" for the Jailgals!! Just too bad that’s the only Colt you’re going to be beating this season.
