Survival Guides: What to do if your Favorite Player gets Traded to a Rival Team
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by user Blocking Back
The loss of Wes Welker to the Patriots is still hurting rather badly so heres my 'Survival Guide' for anyone going through similar circumstances:-
1. Gnash teeth, hammer keyboard, impersonate chick from ‘The Excorcist.’
2. Repeat.
3. Breathe deeply, relax and remember that this is the NFL and that this stuff happens all the time.
4. Hammer head against wall, varying both aggression and angle of attack.
5. Get out that overpriced jersey from last season and admire it. Think of all the good things that that player did for your team. Remind yourself that he deserves to get paid for his efforts…
6. Throw jersey to floor and stamp several times. Ensure both player name and team logo are sufficiently targeted.
7. Check out the latest transfers to see that, not only has Joey Harrington finally been cut, but that you have also signed one of the finest damned players in the league (or atleast one of the craziest).
8. Drink yourself into oblivion anyway, because you just spent a crapload of money on a player you didn’t need.
Disclaimer: This system is 100% unchecked and unverified. If you decide to follow it then you may die in some horrible fashion or other. By doing so you also accept that I am not responsible for this and agree to buy me several alcoholic beverages whilst I supervise your sorry ass.
For the uncut version and for other sports faff check out the blog: Shot to Nothing
