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Stiles Tours the Sports Zodiac: Taurus

13
Vote

by user Manny Stiles

Ummm, whoops! The Tour of the Sports Zodiac continues, slightly delayed for reasons I don't care to make up. Gemini in a few days and then at an unannounced date: The Sports Zodiac Showdown begins...

Taureans seem to be a lot of feisty, bullheaded people
Taureans seem to be a lot of feisty, bullheaded people

Taurus, "the second sign of the zodiac, symbolized by the bull. According to astrologers, people whose birthdays occur between April 20 and May 20 are said to be born under the sun sign of Taurus. Taurus, an earth sign, is ruled by the planet Venus, named after the ancient Roman goddess of beauty and love.

Miss a Stop on the Tour?


Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini

Astrologers consider Taureans to be loyal, stable, conservative, and practical. They are also thought to be patient, affectionate, and good-natured people. However, their tempers can erupt dramatically if they are pushed beyond their limits. Astrologers believe Taureans are home-loving and tend to have deep sentimental attachments to people, things, and places. They also can be jealous and possessive. Astrologers do not consider Taureans to be fond of change, making the typical Taurus both reliable and committed, as well as inflexible.

Astrologers consider Taureans to be very attuned to the physical world. They have acute senses and appreciate beauty and pleasure in all forms. Taureans tend to be very aware of the value of things, an ability which can make them skilled handlers of money and good judges of the quality of merchandise. Professions traditionally associated with the sign Taurus include banking and business, especially trade; accounting; clothing or interior design; real estate; singing; farming; and architecture"


You know the deal

Add your FIVE sports figures to represent Taurus in the Zodiac SHOWDOWN, (a.k.a "The Aquarian Age Invitational") in comments below...

Ken Caminiti, Tony Danza, Steve Spurrier (same b-day as Hitler, go figure!), Jack Nicholson, Warren Spahn, Jim Fixx, Meadowlark Lemon, Rogers Hornsby, Enos Slaughter, George Gervin, Tim Duncan, Kevin Brown, Luis Aparicio, Dale Earnhardt, Terry Francona, Andrew Jones, George Allen, Barbaro, Kate Smith (singer), Chuck Bednarik, Sugar Ray Robinson, Jim Kelly, Weeb Ewbank, Tony Parker, Willie Mays, Josh Howard, Andre Agassi, Chris Carpenter, Johnny Unitas, Sonny Liston, Pat Summerall, Chris Berman, Yogi Berra, Felipe Alou, Joe Louis, Barry Zito, Roy Halladay, Tony Perez, Carlos Beltran, Chipper Jones, Omar Vizquel, George Brett, Barry Larkin, Josh Beckett, John Smoltz, Izzy Alcantara, Jack Morris, Billy Martin, Shawn Marion, Cool Papa Bell, Sugar Ray Leonard, Brooks Robinson, Reggie Jackson, Andre Roussimoff (Andre the Giant), Don Mattingly, Tony Gwynn and Bud Grant...

Happy choosing!

  • references
    • http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761579441/Taurus_(astrology).html
    • http://www.armchairgm.com/index.php?title=Create_Opinion_Standard
Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
Willie Mays, Joe Louis, Andre the Giant, Johnny Unitas and Rogers Hornsby (tough to leave Meadowlark out...)
Permalink | Reply
Davis21wylieMVP
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Okay... The Say Hey Kid, The Big Fundamental, Hoover, The Iceman, and Yogi.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
omitting Johnny U is despicable, but understandable in this case (personally, I would take Brett over Robinson)
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Ha, I didn't even see Unitas' name up there. You should really put these in alphabetical order, man... Besides, he and Brett didn't have very good nicknames. And that's what I decided to base my picks on this time, playing ability + a nice solid moniker.
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
957 days ago
Score 1+-
No Bermanisms, though, and definitely no Berman!
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
They are in no particular order at all, in order to not sway your judgement picking players on the cusps
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Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
957 days ago
Score 4+-
I vote for me.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 1+-
five times?
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Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
957 days ago
Score 1+-
The other four can be Chipper Jones, for doing a fantastic job for me on Fantasy Baseball, Andre Agassi, I share my birthday with him, but you neglected him from the list... Yoggi Berra because he's smarter than the average Berra, and cpcp, having read his comment.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
How the hell did I miss Agassi?? There are relatively few good Famous People birthday sites that include athletes below the Jim Thorpe, Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan level. I knew Marion and Duncan were both Taureans but they weren't on any websites I moused through... go figure, Agassi!
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 2+-
I think its because its men tennis, which is about as popular as bowling right now...
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 0+-
And yeah, berra...if you wanted someone to summarize your entire life in euphamisms...yogi berra is clearly the choice...clearly
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
True, but it helps if you're either dead or if people think you are... I would like to do an all-time Famous people Zodiac challenge, but we are in the age of Aquarius so every one else is fighting for #2
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
"dead or think you are" deadoraliveinfo.com was one of my sources. (very fun site in a cooler than Jumptheshark nostalgic way - you get to see if people you thought were dead are or not)
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 2+-
Pat Summerall (Only guy to make madden intelligent), Dale Earnhardt, 'Concrete Charlie' Chuck Bednarik, Joe Louis & Willie Mays
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
that's a nice five...
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Thanks ManRays, glad you can appreciate it...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 4+-
They need a Pat Summerallizer. Like a megaphone you talk into and it comes out like his voice... it would be great around the house or if you ever wanted to make a fake tampon commercial, or is it just me?
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
I knew it was summerall that did it for you...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 2+-
No, it was Bednarik, but I can't make jokes about him or he'll kick my ass.
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
This is the same guy who said he didn't want the eagles to win the SB because he wanted the '60 team to be the last to win a championship...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
Shhh... dude, if he hears you, he's gonna come break your teeth and probably a couple of ribs... I think an Article of "Chuck Bednarik vs. Chuck Norris" NEEDS to occur !!!
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Pfff, why bother Norris would get crushed...but that gave me a really good idea Thanks manny
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
Bednarik MIGHT be the only person who could kick Chuck Norris' ass. But only 'cause they're both Chucks and Norris might win if it was a best of 41 series. It would take at least 40 rounds to determine a true winner between the two.

A Chuck Norris doll WOULD kick a Chuck Bednarik dolls ass though!

Google Chuck Norris Doll and see for yourself (and good luck sleeping tonight)
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 0+-
Manny, are you read to get owned...do you know who could beat them both...are you ready...are you ready...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
I know I could crush their heads from far away... (fingers to eye) "I'm crushing your head!"
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 0+-
Cole Hamels would easily crush Chuck Bednarik or Chuck Norris... He's going to win 1 Cy Young...and 11 Cole Hamels!
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
JuT, Put away the blunt instrument that you keep hitting when you repeatedly fall on your head like that...
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Sorry, forgot... Go Devil Rays!
Permalink
False ProphetAll-Star
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Berman, Unitas, Duncan, Alex, Morris
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 2+-
Hey, I get Berman on the historical scale and I understand Davis' concerns, so I like him AND hate him...

But I do feel a little more at home when he's on... comforted in a way.

Maybe I just remember the Pre-ESPN days too well!
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 0+-
OK look...if he didn't give everyone a crappy nickname, I'd be ok w/ him

Jeff "Brown Paper Bag"well...wtf!

Jermaine "Live and Let" Dye...meh
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
yeah, but for every crappy one there is a legendary one. It was his schtick, it wasn't supposed to last forever. ESPN wasn't supposed to make it long. It was a dumb idea. PAY money to watch volleyball and bowling? No Thanks. That was the attitude in the begining. Then came the TV deals for games nad of course, the popularity of SportsCenter. SportsCenter was the best hour of TV for a good part of the 80's and early 90's. It was Berman's and what's his name, the serious guy, then Dan Patrick's doing. (and God Bless Tom Mees)
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
False Prophet said "You're with me, Taurus!"
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JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 2+-
Rumbling, bumbling, stumbling...

He...could...go...all...the...waaaaayyyy back back back back back (I'm fairly confident Harry Kalas and Vin Scully want to shove forks in his eyes...)

I mute the homerun derby because of this guy...
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 2+-
HE'S NOT A PLAY BY PLAY GUY.

Don't take a dog and call it an alligator. He does highlights with music running behind him. You never notice the music til it's not there, huh? Pay attention man!

Berman is a horrible play by play guy. He breaks all the rules of play by play. He interjects the action, he roots and cheers, he leads his colorguy astray, etc. He's a spaz that needs a 6 pack of ritalin and some horse tranquilizers (it cracks me up that he's the biggest dude on espn's football crew) and he'd probably be a great play by play guy.

Otherwise, pump some music up there, give him a spotlight (but you're running clips, so turn the camera off) and let him bellow like a drunk hippo...
Permalink
False ProphetAll-Star
957 days ago
Score 1+-
I say sack the color guy, and let Berman run the entire show
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 2+-
Clone him and let him do BOTH,;or settle for a cyborg if you wanna be cheap, but you get what you pay for...
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 2+-
And that's my problem, he shouldn't be out there...3 years ago he did hockey, what the hell was that?! Even during the highlights...look...as a major TV personality/commentator/SS guy, you can legitimately create 5, 10 nicknames and/or catchphrases max...he's blown that quota away and now he's just a punchline my friends use for people who bog down sportscenter...
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 0+-
He's like Barbaro...and we know what happened to him
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 2+-
BARBARO WAS TURNED INTO LEATHER????
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
I got what you said their FP....Berman's a football guy and you wanna..."sack" the color guy...clever you little trickster
Permalink
False ProphetAll-Star
957 days ago
Score 1+-
that was unintentional. I like Berman's work. It provides more entertainment to the same clip I saw 3o mins ago
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Here's a Bermanism you never heard before: Chris "Doctor, my crotch is ON FIRE, it's really" Berman.
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
957 days ago
Score 1+-
(looks the other way and pretends not to know ManRay Stiles)...


Gotcha! =P
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
957 days ago
Score 2+-
Hornsby, Sugar Ray Robinson, Mays, Johnny U. and Joe Louis.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
straight old school. I like it!
Permalink
DNLLegend
957 days ago
Score 1+-
Hornsby, Robinson, Mays, Earnhardt, and... Meadowlark Lemon
Permalink | Reply
I am a cpcpMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 2+-
Tim Duncan, Tony Gwynn, Omar Vizquel, Barry Larkin and me. (My birthday is the day before Alex's.)
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
I specifically included Vizquel for you, Seepie! ;D
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
If you never voted for yourself on the sign of your Earth birth, then you better go back and add it if you want to be in the Zodiac Royal Rumble...
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
957 days ago
Score 0+-
or if you're a Gemini, wait a few days...
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
957 days ago
Score 3+-
Happy Birthday to the two self promoters. Funny about Berman, in person he's a real quiet guy. This personality thing he has going is a TV prop. Once the lights go off you don't even know he's around most of the time. Kudos to you Manny for remembering the late Tom Mees. RIP, buddy.
Permalink | Reply
InsanMajor Leaguer
922 days ago
Score 1+-
Hmmm, good-natured, affectionate, stable people... I'd go Tim Duncan, Willie Mays, Andre the Giant (or as I like to call him, Gentle Giant), Meadowlark Lemon, and Unitas. This one was really hard for me because my step-dad is a Taurus and he's a real asshole so why natural reaction was to pick the assholes like Billy Martin.
Permalink | Reply
InsanMajor Leaguer
922 days ago
Score 1+-
so my natural reaction*
Permalink
RomiezzoLegend
922 days ago
Score 0+-
Warren Spahn, Willie Mays, Tony Gwynn, Rogers Hornsby, and THE ROCK
Permalink | Reply
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