Stiles' Sports Journal - 2007 Nov 03
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by Manny Stiles
Dear Sports Journal:
"People say believe half of what you see, Son, and none of what you hear." - Marvin Gaye
It's not that I'm too macho to call this a "diary", I'm too lazy for that. And by lazy, I mean not paid enough... But every so often, there comes a time and a moment where everything converges just so... and the story needs to be told. If Venus passes in front of the Sun but you miss it because of an eclipse, it's still a story.
I was watching the giant bugs flying around the lights at the stadium. Big-assed Arizona bugs! There aren't tons of bugs here like back east, but the bugs here are rugged. They were being chased by bats from the desert.
You can tell the time in the Sonoran Desert (not really a desert, it's a semi-arid zone) by what's flying in the air. The doves go to their homes in the saguaros at sunset and the bugs come out promptly at dusk. The bats come out to eat the bugs. Nature acts natural once again.
But in Arizona...
There's these hawks that eat the bats! They glide around just above the lights, with their light bellies slightly reflecting, floating effortlessly and every so often swooping down to eat a bat chasing it's insect prey!
And that's how I felt tonight.
Earlier in the day
A Stevie Wonder themed wedding!
Yeah, I had performed my first ceremony as minister of a wedding. I had a party at my house many moons ago and friends of a friend had mentioned they were planning a wedding but didn't know how to find a minister to do the ceremony. I told them I was ordained and whammo! yadda-bada-bing-gitrdone, It was today.
The Ceremony went off without a hitch - other than my failure to turn on a microphone, and I had a "rap" to do the mic check; Oh well... We ended up doing the Wedding: Unplugged version. It was sweet regardless and I got great reviews (the complainers were afraid of me, I guess), and I might have found a solid connection to strike a music deal (Lesson: It's not what you know, it's who you're lucky enough to meet at a wedding)
I did slide in my "If anyone has reason to barge in and disrupt this beautiful ceremony, now is your opportunity! Anyone?". Yes, I really did.
Hey, before today, all the ceremonies I had done were funerals...
Earlier before the wedding
I read my e-mails and found out my Uncle Nevin died. He was the one of the Cool Uncles:
1) he never had time for a know-it-all nephew with A.D.D. that was taller than him - I respected him for telling me it often.
2) he was an outdoorsman who I only ever saw if there was camping involved, a fire to tend and what would logically seem to be too much beer to drink; yet laughably early in the morning... it was just the right amount afterall.
3) He gave me my foundation of knowledge concerning the construction and taming fire and planted the seeds of my enduring pyromania.
3b) The way the man tended a fire, dangled a smoke from his lip and held a beer can at the same time was a Norman Rockwell painting, I'm telling you.
4) He had a great raspy voice. From smoking Luckys and inhaling campfire smoke; hell, he was huffing asbestos for all I know...
5) The world sucks a little more than it should have today. How many Nevins are there in the world?
Here's to you (cracks open a Genesee Cream Ale), Uncle Nevin. For not needing a funeral and just having your ashes sprinkled on the mountain... I never told you but I always thought you were a bad assed dude! I'm pretty sure you knew.
After the Wedding
Well, I was still wearing a suit from doing the Ceremony and Scottsdale Stadium (where tonight's AFL game was being played) was on my way home, go figure! Who wears a suit to a baseball game? Well, I didn't dress for Halloween... we'll call it even.
Tonight was AFL Hall of Fame induction for alum Jermaine Dye and Torii Hunter. Both were present to see their plaques be unveiled and have their AFL numbers retired and related banners unfurled.
Baseball Hall of Famer Frank Robinson was on hand with Arizona Fall League Commissioner Steve Cobb and Arizona Fall League founder/dream realizer/former MLB General Manager Roland Hemond for the ceremony.
I watched (and filmed a bit of the on-field ceremony) from field level and went up to the press box to watch the game. Plus, the VIPs always get to come up and enjoy the great views of the press box and enjoy the fine catered cuisine.
Side Note
Past experiences have taught me to "be where they're going, don't follow".
Jermaine Dye
Jermaine is a big human being... you know, almost my size. His kids look extremely like you would imagine Jermaine Dye's kids would look. Of course, his wife is beyond-words hot. He lives in nearby Paradise Valley and seemed as uncomfortable as a patient in a waiting room without magazines expecting really bad news.
After the ceremony, the honorees headed to the pressbox with their families. He lobbed some small talk back and forth with Torii Hunter - How old are you now? (Answer: Both are younger than the suddenly feeling-older Author) How's your kids? Heard your vacation was nice... How many more years are you going to play? Oh really? What teams are you talking to? Huh, didn't know that... Do you think the big, ugly white dude in front can hear us? etc...
I get the feeling that Jermaine Dye is a nice, introspective guy trying to be a Dad and a ballplayer. I may never know if he prefers Biggie over Tupac or not but I got the feeling he really is a private fellow who wanted none of some-schmuck-in-a-suit-in-Scottsdale like me prying.
But alas, I would not be fettered. I grabbed the game program and pulled the picture of Mr. Dye up and pointed at it saying to him "it looks like you didn't catch the ball in this picture".
He looked at it... pondered... and said "No, I caught it."
Yes, but you didn't catch my joke, Jermaine! Relax. Ease up! You can talk to Uncle Manny!
He was like a caged animal. He was uncomfortable, he didn't want to be there but felt obliged to stay. Like he had to fart in church but just held it so he wouldn't disrupt anyone. I didn't tell him that Albert Pujols stayed for one or two pitches and left after his ceremony.
I asked him questions about the Chicago media.
"Who are the good ones?" I fired up my grill...
And the look said more than words.
The words that came out of his mouth were "yeah, every so often... yeah, there's some good writers"
The look said - "Man, I don't trust a (damned) one of you."
I told him I felt his pain and how maybe one day journalists could be held to the same standards as they hold everyone else to. I was being sincere with my neighbor from Paradise Valley.
I wanted Jermaine to know that I knew he was a human being. I also knew he wanted out of there like a dyslexic warthog on a full moon (I'm making up assimiles that make no sense, as a hobby now). His kids were being... well, kids and getting as restless as a blind beaver in a lumber yard. The game was exceedingly eventless and the catered food was, well... "Arizona Fall League worthy".
At the end of the second inning, I picked my stuff up and exited the press box and headed out for my usual sauntering of the atmosphere, providing enough commotion and encouragement for Jermaine and his family to garner the movement toward the exit. They followed "suit".
I wished him good luck and went looking for Superfan.
Torii Hunter
Frank Robinson roasted Torii a little about being a Minnesota Twin still even though they announced him as "Free Agent, Torii Hunter" and he rolled with it. I guess I never noticed how 'alive' Torii Hunter is - he beams energy. Hunter wrapped the crowd around his smile and made it a Hallmark-flavored treasured moment. Not as good as I was at the wedding, but hey...
Hunter entered the press box with his smoking hot, words can't describe her hotness wife and was joking about leaving after the first pitch, but he stayed a while. There's only one was I can put this: He smiles like a matherfacker. I want to call him "Cheese" because he smiles like someone's ready to take a picture of him. Well, I even had a fan reach in the press box to have his picture taken with Hunter. He obliged and had me snap the pic with the fan's camera.
That's what I get for sitting in the front...
Torii Hunter has enough to smile about for real, for real but maybe he knows something we don't - like the $$$ signs getting thrown his way "on Tuesday".
When I leaned back and told Hunter's wife that I was going to start a rumor that he is talking with and close to signing with Tampa Bay her facial expression was PRICELESS! - p-r-i-c-e-l-e-s-s
Then she told me that "Arizona is nice" and she liked it here... hmm, what????
Hunter stayed and chatted with/seeked sage wisdom from Mr. Robinson for for another inning or so.
Frank Robinson
Frank Robinson thinks it's cool that I promote it on the internet that he's "tougher than Chuck Norris".
It started when I told him that "The Robinson Rule" needs to be "something tough". Not a tie game... Currently, if the two teams are tied after 11 innings, it's a tie, due to the "Robinson Rule". It was his idea. There's no reason to get pitchers hurt, right? Makes sense.
When I asked if he "created the rule because he likes pitchers so much?"... yeah, he enjoyed that one.
One thing Frank Robinson stressed in commending Jermaine Dye and Torii Hunter was about their community work and character off the field. Frank knows that baseball's health is measured off the field as well as on it. He has stressed several times that kids and youth are essential to the game.
I like Frank Robinson. He gives a shit about baseball.
He's always been one of my favorite characters in Baseball lore. So much is said about him but so little is told about his baseball abilities. Dude won a Triple Crown (even though it was the only time he led his league in any of three categories) and MVPs in both leagues, had his number retired by two organizations. He managed the Expos when no one else would. He's arguable one of the three best hitters alive and how many stories can be told about him?
I caught Robbie off guard with this question... I asked him who deserves to be in the Hall but isn't - "Lots of 'em".
I asked him about which Hall of Famers are different than we all think they are - "A couple of 'em".
We talked for a while and I confirmed my suspicion that Frank Robinson isn't just an angry black guy that people ran scared from in the 60's, nor that he is a Hall of Fame Home Run hitter, or merely the first minority manager in baseball... he is all those things and more.
He's Frank - the guy that loves baseball.
Plus he can kick your ass. So let the "Frank Robinson is tougher than Chuck Norris!" smackwagon begin! (or Frank will kick my ass!)
One more note from tonight's game
Brewers prospect third baseman Steve Sollman was moved from the Mesa Solar Sox roster to the Scottsdale Scorpions roster since they were depleted at third base. His first game? A start against his old Mesa teammates.
The first pitch he faced was 5 feet over his head. A little "warning" to the traitor! It was clearly all in good fun and both benches cleared with laughter.
Other Stuff: Fine China
I had a chance to see Team China play in Scottsdale. I had my kids with me that day, so like a good father I took them down to the bullpen to heckle the pitchers. The guys on the team were nice. Some spoke novelty English at my kids (who speak their own novelty English) it was enteraining. So I didn't tell them how much they suck (I think they have a good idea).
My kids got restless as a butter on lava so I took them to the zoo. Scottsdale won, of course.
A Few Days Earlier
I got to see Team USA in action against Scottsdale. It provided quite the quandry. Do I root for "my" team, the team with the Rays players on it, who was technically the "AWAY" team because Team USA has it's home games in the same stadium, or do I root for MY home team, Team USA?
Worse yet, Superfan (the Diamondback/Scottsdale Scorpions-loving Fall league diehard lady who yells her heart out) was cheering for BOTH teams. Poor Evan Longoria played for Scottsdale and then went to Team USA. So he was playing a home game against his teammates on their field. He was so confused and conflicted he struck out his first at bat.
Team USA beat Scottdale in the game and I wasn't all the way sad because USA won!
Last Night
I had the wedding dress rehearsal, but after it was over I was able to catch the start of the Suns-Lakers game then jet off to catch the last couple innings of the Phoenix Desert Dogs - Scottsdale Scorpions clash (which in turn titled the earth just enough to make the Lakers win).
Oakland A's property Jeff Baisley crushed a ball that was misplayed by an outfielder to end the game in extra innings (he also hit the "Arizona Fall Leaguer" to win the Rising Stars game)
I got to talk to a player (who wasn't playing) who was ejected for saying "You Suck" to an umpire. Apparently it's the "You" part the umpires don't like. "That" sucks, "It" sucks... perfectly acceptable. Hey, the umps are trying to make a name too...
I also learned that baseball players aged 20-25 or so really only talk about women and food... and it's more often food.
What about the Rays? The Suns? The WNBA? The World of Noodling? How is Carl Crawfish? When are you making Salsa again?
Can't you tell how busy I am? And I don't even have a job! (got a few offers to freelance articles... we'll see. I'm thinking book deal is the way to go)
Yeah... I have a Rays article coming soon... right after I go to the Suns-Cavs game on Sunday - like I won't find more to write about there! There's always more surprises around the corner... we'll see what Manny has planned next!
