Sorry Charlie

by user LastRow

Would somebody please get Charlie Weis some cheeseburgers here…The man is very hungry and in case nobody has noticed, he’s a very large man. This combination could become lethal…Nothing worse then a large man, starving. For dessert, a couple of after meal mints will be provided by TUMS to help relieve any indigestion that he appears to have after watching his Irish drop in the polls after what some would tag a “Instant Classic” in South Bend on Saturday. ESPN, where you at? Out buying Charlie some cheeseburgers, I hope as I take it you couldn’t get the rights from NBC to re-broadcast this game, could you?

So Charlie Weis is spitting mad about the polls…Welcome to the club, Chucky! Sorry, this is the way it works here, bud. Everyone of us always has indigestion in the club…Good to see you’ve hopped on board. After stabbing UCLA in the back in the final 1:02 pollsters & computers did the injustice of dropping Notre Dame in the polls…Them bastards! However, sitting there watching the game on Saturday…WOOHOOING as I fell out of my chair watching Jeff Smargbvuggvyi cross the goalline to give the Irish another “One for the Ages” comeback…Lying on my back because I just paralyzed myself falling out of my chair. Lying on my back as I waited for paramedics to arrive to transport me to the hospital gave me at least 10 minutes to think as I stared straight up at the ceiling…There was a few thing I thought about. One, the ceiling definitely needs to get painted…And two, as much as it pains me to say this, Notre Dame has no business being ranked in the Top 10, (Although, my back pain hurt more than saying that).

This year was National Championship or bust…Well guess what, it’s a bust! After barely beating Georgia Tech, sure we beat Penn State’s ass, then got our ass handed to us the next week by Michigan. While ND has run the table ever since, and will continue to do so until the Los Angeles trip, it has been done & will continue in ho hum fashion…Except for the two epic comebacks in the last moments of the game. Sure they’re great and all, but for the most part shouldn’t have been necessary in the first place if this team was a legitimate top team. Don’t get me wrong here, regardless of what Charlie has done in less than two years is great…So great in fact, I replaced by Rudy picture on my nightstand with one of the Chuckster. Every night I go to bed, I give it a big ole wet kiss…Sorry Rudy! See Charlie, in college football style points matter. Style points are what win you National Championships…There’s no playoff tree here! Winning is just not good enough…Winning in style, now there’s the key ingredient! And the troops in South Bend have as much style & spice as Bill Belichick has with he sweatshirt…None.

Again, this pains me to say, but all year Notre Dame has been overrated! The reality is that if Notre Dame beats USC, (which, surprisingly they may) and goes to a BCS Bowl, the fact remains, they’ll lose to whoever they go up against. That’s a given! Why? Well, that’s the 8 million dollar question, (or how ever much the BCS pays out)? With a senior offensive line, a senior signal caller, (what was supposed to be a Heisman Trophy season) & experience at the skill positions, why is it last year’s offense seemed to be more explosive? With a defense that everybody heard that had improved, and how they became quicker in the off-season…While the improvements may show & hold some truth, and they may be better, what I get a kick out of here is to hear they’ve gotten quicker. Yes, it’s a given…Anyone can be taught to become more quicker, however quickness doesn’t relate to speed. If you’re slow, well you’re slow…Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, right? Same holds true here…Nobody can become faster! Well that is legally…Perhaps, Marion Jones could shed some light on this?

Although, it’s a given the college athletics are just politics…And you were just going to bat to defend the honor of your team like any good coach would. I’m just glad you didn’t bring a gun to the press conference and start waving it around to get your point across to the voters…Some people believe that’s the best method of actions! All in all, the program is back on track and headed in the right direction…Simply put, expectations were too high coming into the season…But then again, that’s Notre Dame for you and they wouldn’t have it any other way! Isn’t that enough cause for indigestion? In Charlie We Trust, but sorry Charlie, as a Domer fan, this time you don’t have a gripe!

Speaking of gripes, I have a big one with these cheeseburgers I just exhaled! I think perhaps I’ve got a bad case of indigestion? Before I devoured them, I check the labels for possible side affects? It’s always good to read the labels before exhaling items into the body. Indigestion was one of them, but just to be sure, I’m sending a sample off to the lab to be tested! A bad case of indigestion is nothing to mess around with…Charlie knows that! Now it’s time to consume some TUMS, but again I check the label first. It’s always good to be label conscious! And in case anybody was wondering, I’m not paralyzed as I thought I was…Paramedics classified it as a server case of shock. Good thing, otherwise my Sports SchuttleButt as part of the LastRow would be shut down!

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