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Somewhere, Marty is Smiling

9
Vote

by Suckatsports

Thank you, Bob Costas for reminding us that Sunday night was the birthday of legendary post-season choke job Marty Schottenheimer . Although, if I were a Chargers fan, I'd probably be wishing for a choke job in the playoffs right about now - because that would mean, my team got into the playoffs to begin with. At 1-2, and in a division where two teams might combine to 8 wins, the Chargers are still in the pole position to memorably destruct in the playoffs, but if they keep playing like this, they might not get a chance.

Norv Turner took over a team that was the equivalent of a USC or LSU in college football. They were loaded on both sides of the ball, and should have rivaled New England as one of the most dominant football teams this year. But no, they're light years away from that, and it certainly has nothing to do with the talent. But, everything to do with the coaching.

I guess that's what happens when you get 100% turnover in your associate and head coaching staff. And, not only that, but you replace those coaches not with useless cutouts, but with the equivalents of Dr. Nick. They are the mal-practicing, scalpel-wielding idiots patrolling the sideline and driving their patient right into the white light.

I can't really comprehend why he was hired, because of all the moves A.J. Smith have paid, they've been golden, even bringing Marty in paid dividends quickly. But his excuse for bringing in Norv Turner (which, if you haven't heard, has to do with keeping continuity on offense - Cam Cameron ran Turner's offense) just doesn't work for me. He could have gotten a coach that isn't a 2:1 losses-to-wins in his lifetime. He could have gotten a coach that can run that system, or brought in Norv Turner as the offensive coordinator. All those moves could have probably added up to a 2-1 or 3-0 start, but certainly not 1-2. I think the girls at Hot Chicks Hot Picks described it perfectly, Norv Turner is an STD.

> The Chargers can’t get anything going and I blame it all on Norv Turner. He’s the coach equivalent to an STD. No one wants the NT. The Redskins are barely just recovering from their NT. The Raiders are still mired in the after effects of the NT. The NT is sort of like the herpes. There is no cure, only suppression, as in you must suppress all of your urges to hire that STD as your head coach.

Fret not San Diego Superchargians, there's still hope. Your division stinks on ice, and even though you're 1-2, you're only one game behind, and looking up at teams who's talent is less than your practice squad. There's still plenty of time to blow it in the playoffs.

Week Three Recap [Hot chicks hot picks]

Photo: Simpsons


Like what you read? This post is cross-published from We Suck At Sports.

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False ProphetAll-Star
804 days ago
Score 0+-
Norv Turner is an STD. I'm gonna use that from here on out. The AFC west sucks. The Chiefs and Raiders will be lucky to each get 5 wins, the Chargers are crashing down, and the Broncos are simply put, not sucking
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SuckatsportsVarsity
804 days ago
Score 0+-
I can only wish I came up with something like that. Gotta give credit where it's due, the girls came up with it.
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Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
804 days ago
Score 1+-
Washington, San Diego, New York (Giants), etc., etc. Bill Cowher must be licking his chops.
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SuckatsportsVarsity
804 days ago
Score 0+-
Don't forget Cleveland. There's no doubt they should fire Crennel... three years ago. And Cowher played in Cleveland. No doubt they'll shell out major bucks for him if he's interested. God knows even a Browns fan (me) would take him.
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ASwaffAll-American
804 days ago
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I think something that fans in San Diego and Dallas, not to mention sportscasters everywhere, will be forced to admit very soon that the defense in San Diego was because of Schottenheimer, and not the so-called genius of Wade Phillips. San Diego is already struggling, and Dallas' defense appears to be its only real weakness, even though Phillips was supposed to come in and fix it. And it's not like it's just a lack of talent, either. His whole scheme stinks. Their coverage is soft, they don't blitz, and they constantly run stunts that don't work, constantly leaving large portions of the field wide open.
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DRE-LOAAA-er
804 days ago
Score 1+-
The GM of the Chargers should be fired. After going 14-2 last year and only firing Marty because he couldn't get you to the BIG GAME, you had to get a coach that would put you over the top! In his own infinite wisdom, A.J Smith decided to hire the cancerous Norv Turner. He threw his entire team under the bus with that move. If this team isn't at least .500 by week 8, Bye Bye Norv.
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IbeargRed-Shirting
804 days ago
Score 0+-
If you're not trying to win the super bowl you might as well be playing for the number one pick. Having Marty as a coach meant you were ok with making the playoffs with no chance at winning the super bowl. http://www.a...all_of_Famer
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Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
804 days ago
Score 0+-
LT seems to miss Marty Ball. A lot.
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