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Something Britain Unquestionably Does Better Than the United States!

12
Vote

by user Alex Holowczak

I often rant that the Brits are better at sport than the Americans. And you lot often argue the contrary. However, I think I have found something that Britain does much better than the USA in sport. And I don't think you can argue with me on this one. Feel free to if you can though!

The Brits have the better commentators on sport than anyone in America. A few examples:

  • Murray Walker - see his quotations - even now people think he should commentate on Formula One. He brought excitement and drama to races - his voice could make the most boring races exciting. He made huge errors, often mixing up team mates, getting mixed up between people with similar names (e.g. Brundle and Blundell). At the end of it all, he was a legend.
  • Sid Waddell - a Darts commentator - a few of his quotes - "Even Hypotenuse would struggle to work out those angles", "Bristow quickens... Ahhh! Bristow!" (A pun on the advertising campaign of Bisto gravy, which went "Ahhh, Bisto!" "When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because he had no more worlds left to conquer - Bristow is only 27." No relevance to anything. At all. "Jocky Wilson - What an athlete!" - Wilson wasn't exactly slim... Still, along with Tony Green, of bullseye fame, the two are famous and most British sports fans will know them.
  • John Motson - Football - Has a huge amount of statistics and always does his best to stay neutral, even when his co-commentators let him down in that respect. Another veteran of the game, and is the Number 1 commentator in the game.
  • Ted Lowe - Snooker - Commentated on snooker for over 40 years, his nickname was "Whispering Ted Lowe" since he commentated before the commentary box era, and had to sit in the arena and whisper into a microphone to work. Another with famous bloopers - "For those of you in black and white, the pink is next to the green." When Cliff Thorburn made a 147 in the World Championship, he said "Good luck, mate" over the commentary - another famous line.
  • Richie Benaud - Cricket - Again good neutrality, and says what needs to be said and no more. Has great commentary. Okay, he's an Aussie, but you get the idea! Other cricket commentators that are popular are Jonathan Agnew and Henry Blofeld. Blofeld is particularly famous for his incredible use of English to describe things, describing not only the cricket, but the pigeons flying past the commentary box window....
  • Bill McLaren - Rugby - Commentated for over 40 years - another with great quotations - "There's five minutes left to no side." Scottish accent, but always knew what was going on.

The USA doesn't have this. Other than John Madden, and maybe Al Michaels, there are no really famous sporting commentators (that I know of). When four of the above retired, they all recieved honours. People are begging Walker to come back. Benaud is greatly missed in Britain. Murrayfield (where Scotland play rugby matches) had a standing ovation for him on his final commentary from there when the PA made the crowd aware of it. Motson and Waddell still commentate, and both are hugely popular.

So I think I have finally found something that we do better than the United States at in sport - that no-one can argue with! Or have I?


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 3+-
Yeah, but we've got Tim McCarver!!! Oh wait...(dammit)
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
We've got Dan Dierdorf!! Aw crap...
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
Oooh, oohh! BASKETBALL! We've got Tom Tolbert! (Son of a...)
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Davis21wylieMVP
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
What does it say about Tolbert that he came to mind before Bill Walton?
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Bill Walton is equally loved and hated. Sure his color commentary sucks, but the man is a poet when allowed to monologue/also a direct disciple of the Wizard. Walton has a cornicopia of homespun yarns, I like those... (throw it DOWN, big man!?) Supporters of Tolbert aren't really paying attention. If Jayson Williams didn't think he was Wyatt Earp, we'd never would've had the chance to remember Tolbert was once a player in the NBA.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
To be fair, Tolbert is several thousand light years ahead of Dierdorf who is damned near infinitely better than McCarver...
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BU ICEMANJV Squad
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
Then there's Phil Simms, A.K.A.: Captain Obvious, The Tim McCarver of NFL broadcasts
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False ProphetAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 3+-
We have Bob Costas. take that.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
We also have Magic Johnson... or are we only counting English speakers?
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EnyboDiv-I Stud
1031 days ago
Score 4+-
Bob Uecker!!!!!
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KelsdadAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
I watch European Tour events on the Golf Channel and Renton Laidlaw is pretty good. And dont forget my personal favorite, Benny Hill.
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Anonymous Fanatic #1
1031 days ago
Score 7+-
Vin Scully. End of argument.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
whoodathunkit?
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ChristofMVP
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Yo Alex, how about Bob Costas, Chris Berman, Harry Kalas, Marv Albert? You didn't do your homework on the US side for this article.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Chris, other than all-time great Harry Kalas, I know throngs of people complain about the members of your list. Marv Albert is iconic, but is he REALLY good? Berman has a legion of haters (not me). Costas can be easily defined as "smarmy" and suffers from "knowitallism" (Since they won't elect Gammons, VOTE Costas for baseball commissioner!)
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Anonymous Fanatic #2
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
Costas is pretty highly regarded, though, and throw in Al Michaels since he hasn't been mentioned. Buck, McCarver, Vitale, Berman, Albert...fuhgedaboudit.
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ThecrookedcapAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Al was in the article. But anyway, Alex is not privy to our best announcers: the old-time baseball guys like Harry Kalas (super partial here) and Vin Scully. But I see a great similarity in the picks from both sides of the pond: old-time announcers. There's something about newer generations of announcers that doesn't seem to work as well; maybe it's because the things they say seem more gimmicky or something.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
it's the voice. An older voice has more character.
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EnyboDiv-I Stud
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Ron Santo and Pat Hughes for the Cubs are very good.
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BU ICEMANJV Squad
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
I love listening to Ron and Pat. Ron is such a blatant homer for the Cubs, which usually annoys the crap out of me (See: Buck, Joe) but he does it in a way that isn't disrespectful to the other team (See: Harrelson, Hawk). Pat Hughes really carries the broadcast and does a great job on the play by play, as well as poking Ronnie in exactly the right way to get him going. This also gives me the opportunity to ask the question: Why the hell isn't Ron Santo in the Hall of Fame?
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JoebookRed-Shirting
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
here we go...
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False ProphetAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
Costas is amazing. He can do commentary on any sport.
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KelsdadAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
I grew up listening to Marv doing Rangers and Knicks games on WNBC in New York, he was great then. I heard him the other day, I think he did the Colts/Pats game on radio. Sounds the same to me. Harry Kalas is the man, nice guy too.
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EnyboDiv-I Stud
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
Marv is a mainstay, but is he really good? He is a cliche machine and I would never call him descriptive. If you're watching on TV, he's fine, but he does the same broadcast for radio and he leaves a lot to be desired if you're not watching with him:

Marv (on radio):"Kobe Bryant...Yeeeeees!"; Me: "Yes, WHAT!?!?!?!?"

Harry Kalas wasn't so nice to some of the peopel he worked with (Chris Wheeler)
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ChristofMVP
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Wheeler hats Kalas because he stopped cheating on his wife on road trips, and left Wheeler to have all of the fun. Also, Kalas told the wife the whole story, and she hates Wheeler because of it. Finally, Wheeler was ripping Whitey Ashburn behind his back the season he passed away.
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BU ICEMANJV Squad
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
A spectacular move! (The Jordan hand-switch)
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
Wheeler is a turd anyway... "A spectacular move" really paints the picture, eh?
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ChristofMVP
1031 days ago
Score 3+-
Someone need to put a muzzle on Dickie V.
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KelsdadAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
I met the guy a couple times when I worked for the Phils and he was OK with me, which is all that matters, all the other stuff is meaningless.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
I'm a huge fan and often do a bit for Phils fans where I mock Harry Kalas asking Ashburn the "trivia question of the day"

Harry: This tri-v-i-a question brought to you by the Milk Mar-ket-ers of Ame-ric-a: Whoooo was the fiiiiirst Des-ig-nated Hit-ter to lead the Amer-i-can League in geeeeetting hit by a pitch di-rectly in the balls with thiiiirty four in one seas-son?

Richie: Uh, was it me Harry?

Harry: Nooooo Whiteeey you were not a player in the Amer-i-can League, NOR we you a des-igna-ted hit-ter, NOR were you struck by a pitch di-rect-ly in the balls thi-rty four times in one sea-son.

Richie: Oh, I thought it might be me again, Harry.

Harry: that would be in-cor-rect, Whitey...
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VishalJV Squad
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
Chick Hearn! Slam Dunk! This argument is in the fridge, the door is closed, the lights are out, and the jello is a-jigglin!
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
OK, if he's so smart, how comes he's dead?
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KelsdadAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
My great grandfather and Richie Ashburn's grandfather were brothers.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
...and fought side by side in the French and Indian Wars?
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KelsdadAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Certainly possible
Permalink
ASwaffAll-American
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
I have to agree that Britain has better commentators even without reading their quotes. That country can't possibly be worse than the one that has produced the likes of Dennis Miller, Joe Theisman, Brent Musberger, Phil Simms, Bryant Gumbel, Gary Thorne and Joe Morgan.
Permalink | Reply
ASwaffAll-American
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Gary Thorne, by the way, still has my absolutely favorite all-time commentating call. During a Missouri-Texas A&M game, there was a play that was blown dead before the ball was snapped. It can ONLY mean encroachment, false start, or delay of game. But Thorne said, "We may have offsetting penalties here."  ???????
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
I actually met Gary Thorne one time while covering a Tech game. Nice guy.
Permalink
ASwaffAll-American
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
I'm sure he is a nice guy. But then, I'm also sure that there are a ton of horrible commentators that are good guys. There has to be something about them that convinces their employers to keep them on despite their obvious professional shortcomings.
Permalink
Davis21wylieMVP
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
I wasn't trying to invalidate what you said or anything (you're right, Thorne has said some goofy things over the years)... That's just the first thing I thought of when his name came up, is all.
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KelsdadAll-Star
1031 days ago
Score 2+-
Good one, but not the best. That would be Steve Levy of ESPN broadcasting an NHL game. Prior to the start he was going over the list of players scratched from the lineup, and came upon one player who was out due to a bulging disc, except he didn't say disc.
Permalink | Reply
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
1031 days ago
Score 0+-
'Tis true that most US commentators I hear have to explain every rule to the British audience ("That's a shot", or "That's one point for a free throw") so perhaps that is clouding my judgement. I still reckon the Brits are better.
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Anonymous Fanatic #2
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
Now you know what we have to suffer through while watching a soccer match.
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Anonymous Fanatic #2
1031 days ago
Score 1+-
What no love for Mean Gene Okerlund, or as the Sheik would say, "Gene Mean"?!?!?!?!
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I am a cpcpMajor Leaguer
1031 days ago
Score 4+-
This really isn't a fair argument. Everything sounds cooler with a British accent. Of course, using that same argument that means Austrailian announcers are the best in the world. (Hopefully Pnatt won't see this.)
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Anonymous Fanatic #3
1030 days ago
Score 0+-
i cant believe nobody mentioned how bad john sterling is... "THE radio voice of the new york yankees." he cant ever tell if a guy hit a homerun or not, he will start to go crazy and the ball will end up 10 feet shy of the warning track!
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1030 days ago
Score 1+-
Everytime a Yankee hits a ball it SHOULD be a Home Run, they're YANKEES afterall!!! Can't blame him...
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