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Shock of the Century, A Sportswriter is Not Funny

6
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by user SYHD

Apparently Tampa Bay sports journalist Joe Henderson does not find Elijah Dukes nearly as amusing as we do over here.  In his most recent article he argues that the Devil Rays should cut ties with their troubled outfielder.  I'm not going to lambaste him on his main point because maybe the guy does need a change of scenery, but I will take him to task on his lame attempt at humor.  Here is an uproariously hilarious excerpt from his article:

"If the Rays haven't released him by the time you read this, or at least traded him to the Cincinnati Bengals, then why not?"

Oh wow, a Bengals joke.  That's fresh and original.  At least when I make a Bengals joke I know it's lame and played out, so I follow the punchline with a "Ba dump bump."  This Henderson guy however obviously thinks this is gangbusters material.  I haven't seen comedic writing this awful since every episode of "The Parkers."

This leads me to my main point which is I believe that every sports section should have an humor editor to stop writers from making corny, trite, and cliched jokes. I'm sure sports writers have never been funny, but now that my humor taste buds have fully matured, I'm much more attuned to the hack jokes being churned out on their typewriters and it seems like bad one-liners in columns are a pandemic. May be that explains why Bill Simmons rose to such fame and sports blogs are increasing popular and relevant. People, especially those in younger demographics, are just tired of reading droll, alarmist, humorless shit. However, these aforementioned journalists do provide good fodder for posts like these and without them my favorite site Fire Joe Morgan wouldn't exist, so maybe they serve a purpose. After all, if there are no dorks in the world how would people know if they are cool.

Oh and here is the Henderson article.

Posted By Mookie from www.shootyourhopesanddreams.blogspot.com


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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
891 days ago
Score 0+-
To be fair...Dukes could probably make the team on his athletic merits. He has linebacker size and plus speed...

And to be MORE fairerish: How many more player arrests have the Bengals had than the San Diego Chargers in the lasy 18 months? (Go look it up and then wonder why no one rips the Chargers)

And I still say you're ALL wrong about Dukes... he may be troubled, but he's not trouble. Of course, I've met him and talked with him and his teammate and coaches while everyone else who offers an opinion hasn't.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
891 days ago
Score 0+-
I've found there are very few journalists worth following regularly. Most of them do suck (just like bloggers). But if they were all good and no one sucked, then no one would stand out and get appreciated properly.

We need MORE crappy sportswriters in the world. The fans need to see through the veil and realize most of the big name baseball media types (at least here in Phoenix) DON'T even watch the whole game - they show up, meander through the lockerrooms trying to look cool and important then they go to the press cafeteria, bring a second plate to the press box, watch the first 4-5 innings then leave.

Then they get on the air the next day blabbing about how great the comeback was and how electric the crowd was the night before... total lies - there wasn't even 3000 people in the stadium by that point.

OR more than half of them are watching other games more intently on their laptops (Yes, there are a TON of Yankee Loving media folk)

As an example
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Anonymous Fanatic #1
891 days ago
Score 1+-
F**K YOU THE PARKERS WAS AN AWESOME SHOW!
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
891 days ago
Score 0+-
ranks right up there with What's Happening Now
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SYHDWaterboy
891 days ago
Score 1+-
Manny, I've actually spoken to members of the organization about Dukes also, though it was before the most recent incidents and they seemed to be of the opinion that he is a generally a good kid who makes bad decisions. I'm not one of the holier than thou types will looks down on Elijah. I'm all for giving the guy multiple chances considering the awful family situation he grew up in. My point was that I'm not going to kill Henderson for suggesting Dukes needs to go, though I certainly do not share the outrage of his argument, I can at least understand where he (Henderson) is coming from. I said that he could use a change of scenery, since he is from the Tampa area and maybe he is still hanging around with some suspect influences. If I were Rays management I would hold onto him because he can hit the crap out of a baseball and I would try to get him some counseling because he obviously has problems. Also regarding your second comment, I agree...please read the last two lines of my post.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
891 days ago
Score 0+-
I was just piling on!
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SYHDWaterboy
891 days ago
Score 0+-
I don't think "The Parkers" ever had punchlines, the actors would just say lines louder and with sass. I've sat through several episodes without even coming close to cracking a smile. "What's Happening" was a fantastic show, the problem is that the show just couldn't go on without Raj.
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
891 days ago
Score 0+-
I said What's Happening Now, not What's Happening - the spinoff where Roger and his wife bought the hangout and Shirley Hemphill ran the place. And Dee was all grown up - but Mabel King (Mama was my favorite charachter) was gone, and I don't think Fred Berry was a part of it either... so it was putrid.
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SYHDWaterboy
891 days ago
Score 0+-
My bad I didnt realize Raj was in What's Happening Now. I also didn't realize it lasted until 1988. Wow. Here is the wikipedia info http://en.wi...appening_Now!!
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SYHDWaterboy
891 days ago
Score 0+-
I think Mabel King died towards the end of the first incarnation of the show.
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Anonymous Fanatic #2
891 days ago
Score 0+-
Manny,

I don't know what game you watch, but a .190 avg. don't cut it. Dukes is a hometown kid that brings such a bad image to a team that desperatly needs hometown fans. You seem to idolize him like you would be the same way he is. On the field, he's barely league average on a really bad team. Off the field, I'm sure you wouldn't leave him alone with your wife. Unless you think it's cool to have 4 or 5 mothers of your kids. Quit defending this douchbag. And I bet the 17 yr old foster child he had sex with will soon prove that he is the father there too. Within 2 years he'll be in jail.

Sean McCarthy
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This page was last modified 15:44, 21 June 2007. Content is available under the GFDL.

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