Sh*t! Glavine, You F*ck! You F*cked It Up! You F*cked It Up!
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And if just one of you bastards responds with the “nothing is f*cked here dude” in the comments section, Rickey will seriously lose his tenuous calm. There’s plenty of time in the coming months ahead for blame assignment and hot stove talk, but right now, Rickey would like to share his visceral reaction with you folks. Obviously Glavine isn’t the sole culprit, merely the goat from yesterday’s game. (We do seem to remember him pitching an awful lot better when his 300th win was within grasp, but that’s neither here nor there).
It takes a concentrated group effort to blow a seven game lead in over a period of seventeen games, thereby setting the all-time record for biggest regular reason collapse by a major league baseball team. So, uh, go team. Your marvelous pooch screwing abilities have secured you a place in the annals of baseball choke jobs. The slow excruciating downward spiral that characterized the month of September was nothing short of a kick to the groin for Rickey. This hurts a hell of a lot. Rickey’s not even sure if his father is still alive right now. Yes, Rickey will still be toting his trusty Metropolitans mug, but only to support the emblem itself rather than the bums who had the chutzpah to call themselves Mets this season. Who in their right mind could have predicted that the Giants would be Rickey’s ray of light in October? Who?
In the meantime, Rickey has found a song to replace "Sweet Caroline" at Shea Stadium: "Always look on the Bright Side of Life." Sing along with Rickey folks:
Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse. When you’re chewing on life’s gristle Don’t grumble, give a whistle And this’ll help things turn out for the best…
And…always look on the bright side of life… Always look on the light side of life…
If life seems jolly rotten There’s something you’ve forgotten And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you’re feeling in the dumps Don’t be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle - that’s the thing. And…always look on the bright side of life… Always look on the light side of life… For life is quite absurd And death’s the final word You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin Enjoy it - it’s your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death Just before you draw your terminal breath Life’s a piece of Shit When you look at it Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true. You’ll see it’s all a show Keep ‘em laughing as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And always look on the bright side of life… Always look on the right side of life… (Come on guys, cheer up!) Always look on the bright side of life… Always look on the bright side of life… (Worse things happen at sea, you know.) Always look on the bright side of life… (I mean - what have you got to lose?) (You know, you come from nothing - you’re going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!) Always look on the right side of life…
[You can find the post in its entirety and many others like it over at http://ridingwithricky.blogspot.com]
