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Sexy Rexy Turns Mr. Gross Man!

13
Vote

by user LastRow

Remember when the Chicago Bears boasted both the number one ranked offense to go along with their number one ranked defense? Really it wasn’t that long ago where a trip to Miami for Super Bowl XLI seemed to be all but a virtual lock thanks to being a member of the Junior Varsity Conference. Where the only team that could deprive the Bears for a trip to South Florida in early February was the Bears themselves. Yeah, remember that? Well, that’s the road Lovie Smith will choose to take if he doesn’t stop denying the fact that the offense is in good hands with Rex Grossman!

Let’s see here, over the last seven games, Sexy Rexy has thrown 14 interceptions, while fumbling four times. Awesome…18 turnovers in the last seven games! I’m not a mathematician or anything, but that’s 4.5 turnovers a game just from one guy! Now as a Bears fan it boggles my mind to think that anybody on the Bears can have confidence in this guy, when it’s quite apparent ole Rex doesn’t have confidence in himself! Sure, they all tell you otherwise, because that’s what they are trained to do, but honestly believe that…Don’t blow smoke up our asses! Lovie Smith stands there at the news conference yesterday and tells us that the Bears are 10-2 and Division Champs with Rex at quarterback. Showing gleaming confidence. Aw, isn’t that sweet…First off your division sucks, secondly the schedule that you’ve played, well let’s just say the Florida Gators had a tougher schedule.

Correct me if I’m wrong here, wasn’t Lovie in this same situation last year with a starting quarterback in Kyle Orton? Although Kyle wasn’t pretty, he was winning! More importantly he wasn’t turning the freaking ball over 4.5 times a game…As lack luster as he was playing, Orton never had a quarterback rating of 1.3. Kyle was at least throwing for 60-70 yards a game, instead of 35. So then why was it you decided to pull Orton in favor of Rex last season, but this year will not even think about pulling Grossman for Griese? What’s the difference in these two situations? I expect an answer…That’s why you get paid the big bucks! It’s not like Brian can do any worse than good ole Sexy Rexy, who by the way, his sex appeal is becoming that of a 80-year old lady…Makes everybody want to puke! Lovie, doesn’t he just want to make you drink a 12-pack during the game…He does for me! I vote we somehow make Rex Grossman into some kind of “Man Law”!

Over these last seven games, why this has to be the worst quarterback in football…And Mike Shanahan & Broncos fans thought they had issues with The Snake. I think the Oakland Raiders even have a better situation than the one in Chicago! Thing is, the Bears have (or should I say had) Super Bowl hopes & dreams…It’s not like they complete suck! Just number eight does! Period….End of story! Okay, so the Bears are 10-2…Guess what? With better quarterback, they’d be 12-0. Now I’m not saying they would’ve beaten Miami or New England regardless, but I do know if you keep giving your opponents the ball…Well, sooner or later that great defense is going to break! It’s just inevitable! Since you have the division on lock & home field advantage all but sealed up, what’s the harm of playing Brian Greise now? See what the guy can do, considering the fact that nobody knows! This would be a real nice opportunity to let him get his feet wet…To see what he has got to offer! Seeing as how Rex is drowning like “Fish David” was in New York in his glass bowl, perhaps Brian can help aid in the rescue. What’s the big deal? It could just be me, but somehow I don’t think he can possibly do any worse!

Of course, the backup quarterback is always more popular when things are going bad…AKA Denver! Great call Mike on that one. Although wouldn’t this be some crime…A team that has this stellar, sick defense does nothing in the playoffs due to the simple fact of one guy on offense who always seems to be helping out the opposing team more so than his. Why is it that if a running back, wide receiver, or kick returner keeps turning the ball over, they go into the witness protection program? If a guy continues to make stupid penalties, the same thing applies too. So then why won’t you, Lovie admit you have serious issues at quarterback during the wrong part of the season? Instead of ignoring them, don’t you owe it to your defense to come out of the closet on this one and at least look at the number two man? If you don’t your little Division Champs label and home field advantage isn’t going to amount to shit…For yet again, it will be another year watching the Bears go one and done in the playoffs! Always wondering “What If”…And let me tell you something Lovie, that’s something you never want to do to yourself! Trust me…I Know far to well about “What If’’s! It’s not something good to go through!

Be on the lookout for BenchRexGrossman.com coming to a computer new you! Sponsored & 100% supported by LastRowSports.com


Vote in LastRowSports.com Pick’em Poll….This week we showcase the various “Simpson’s” and wonder which one is better? Jessica, Ashlee, or Marge? Tough call, we know…So help us out and cast your vote early and often to help clarify the dilemma!

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Davis21wylieMVP
1130 days ago
Score 2+-
The sad part is that I keep starting Grossman week after week in fantasy because the alternatives are guys who never even play. Come to think of it, those guys might be preferable at this point...
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LastRowAll-American
1130 days ago
Score 0+-
I wonder if Jim McMahon is still in playing shape?
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1130 days ago
Score 2+-
I guess Rex is back doing the ecstasy... after all, reliable sources have let it out that his nickname in college was "Rextasy"... how else can you explain the 1.4 QB rating, his stare that outreaches his deep ball and the glowsticks on his handtowel?
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LastRowAll-American
1130 days ago
Score 1+-
Good to see your alive...I thought the peeps looking for me my have gotten to you?
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1129 days ago
Score 0+-
They might be out to get me, but they can't find me. I don't even know where I am most of the time... twitch twitch... get off my shoulder!!! Stop following me!!! I'm not paranoid, YOU'RE paranoid!!! The WHOLE DAMNED SYSTEM is paranoid!!!
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EnyboDiv-I Stud
1130 days ago
Score 1+-
I would like to at least see Greise play a little bit and see what he can do. What they need to do is during practice, tell the O-line to take a seat and just have Rex try and make decision under pressure through every snap.
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JoebookRed-Shirting
1130 days ago
Score 1+-
You are definitely not a math major if you think 18 turnovers in 7 games equals 4.5 per game...
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Anonymous Fanatic #1
1129 days ago
Score 0+-
Yeah, I was about to say.......
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Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1129 days ago
Score 0+-
you guys are idiots... clearly the fuzzy math that was intended (see: I’m not a mathematician or anything").

Norm is a genius while you all think you're so smart by busting his balls/grammar/data all the time. To quote KG, you're not a FOOL are you?.

Besides, doesn't everyone know that 87.3% of all statistics are completely fabricated?
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