Separate Ways
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by user Corey Kempf
As the title suggests, this will be a discussion on which icons in sports need to part ways with some other object, whether it be a team or something else, but first, I need you to queue up the theme music:
Good, now I don't necessarily blame you if you don't get any further into this article until the video is over. Frankly, it's probably the worst music video ever made, by one of the lamest bands ever, but somehow I get lost in it more than I do in a good Danielle Steele book.
(OK, I'm just kidding about that last part, Ozzie. Please don't call me names. Besides, if I were really that way, I would've put the WHAM! video for "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" on here.)
Anyway, before the dramatic music runs out, let's get to the list:
New York Knicks and Isiah Thomas
This is an obvious pick. Isiah ran the CBA into the ground, he wasn't a great head coach with Indiana, and he was an awful GM with the Knicks. So what do the Knicks do to improve matters? They hire Isiah as the new head coach, of course. I suppose that's a great move if you like being the butt of every NBA joke, but certainly not good for business. I think it's time Isiah left the NBA so he can become an analyst and maybe ruin Stephen A. Smith's career, too.
Major League Baseball and Bud Selig
Bud brought baseball back to Milwaukee. For that I am thankful. But his handling of the Brewers in the late 1990s and early 2000s was just a shade better than the job he's doing as commissioner of the league, which, to be polite, is disastrous.
United States soccer and Bruce Arena
Maybe it's not all that bad the USA soccer team was an all-out embarrassment at the World Cup. After all, perhaps if other countries know they can beat us in some way, they might stop hating the US so much.
Dallas Mavericks and Mark Cuban or vice versa, however you look at it
It's not that Cuban is particularly bad for the Mavs, it's just that I'd like to see this kind of fiery attitude in the Milwaukee Bucks' front office. Herb Kohl is about as intense as The View.
Chicago Cubs and Kerry Wood/Mark Prior
We all know their potential--a couple months on the DL--and that's exactly the point. At what time does time spent off the field outweigh the time spent on it? I'd say it's as soon as you start paying these guys a combined $15 million for their services as benchwarmers, which for the Cubs was about two years ago.
While I'm at it, the Cubs and Dusty Baker, the Chicago Tribune, and the delusions of grandeur a la their "rivalry" with the St. Louis Cardinals.
Philadelphia Phillies and Charlie Manuel
For a guy that has admitted he doesn't exactly understand the double switch, maybe the National League isn't the place to make a living. And to be managing in a city that hasn't seen a championship in 23 years probably doesn't help at all.
Any NBA team and this year's draft
Don't get me wrong, the talent is there, but this year's NBA Draft makes me feel like it's about two years early. The sad part is, who else would have been available if not for the guys who entered early? Would J.J. Redick have been the No. 1 pick? Yeesh.
Brett Myers, Reuben Droughns, Santonio Holmes, and countless other pro athletes and their significant others
Trust me, it's for the good of the sport, the justice system, and the women's bank accounts.
Gary Payton and the NBA
When talking about The Glove these days, it mostly just makes me think of O.J.'s glove. It didn't fit, and neither does Payton in the NBA anymore. When he makes a great play, I'm bewildered, and I don't think I'm alone.
Those are the big ones. If anyone else can think of one, I will be happy to add the suggestion.
Date
Tue 06/27/06, 9:11 am EST
