Screw You, Yadier Molina
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by Tmizzle
Yesterday was my 20th birthday. It was also Friday the 13th, and I've already heard all the jokes (My favorite: "No wonder you're so weird-looking, you were born on Friday the 13th." Never mind that I was born on a Monday.)
I share my birthday with celebrities like Harrison Ford and Patrick Stewart, which is pretty cool.
I learned yesterday that I also share it with Yadier Molina, who turned 25 yesterday.
Taking the NL pennant from me last fall wasn't good enough for you, Yadier? Now you have to take my birthday too? When does it end? When will you come back for the rest of my soul?
I ask: Is there any way I can get my birthday legally changed? I don't want to share it with a .216 hitter who only hits home runs in the ninth inning of Game Sevens of 2006 NLCS.

