Saturday Morning NFL BREAKING NEWS (Week 11)
| 7
|
by Bobbyjim45
Adrian Peterson… Made of Glass
I predicted Adrian Peterson would be out of commission by Week 12, and it looks like I low-balled it. This guy did the same thing in college. He gave a little strip tease when he first set his foot in the door, then he couldn’t stay healthy and fell off the radar. Think Rick Ankiel style one-year-wonder story, without the comeback at another position or the tiny testicles from steroids.
Peyton Manning looks to keep his streak of single-digit interception games alive
Manning heads back to Indy to face the Chiefs but he’s a struggling man right now. The streak of under-10 interceptions in every career game Peyton Manning has played was in jeopardy last week against the Chargers, but Manning was able to sneak out with single digits. Unfortunately, Manning wasn’t able to sneak out with a win or with his dignity intact. All of a sudden the Colts are on a two game skid, and are clinging to their National Title hopes, needing a little help from the voters and the BCS computers. Fortunately for Indy, the Patriots are in a non-BCS division.
Bills to start Doug Flutie
Knowing they are going to get destroyed anyway, the Bills have resigned Doug Flutie and will start him at quarterback. Last time they played the Pats, future HOFer, JP Losman, almost got killed, so why not put the old man out there. Plus, they figure if Belichick risked an extra point to let Flutie take a dropkick, maybe he’ll let him win the game.
Dan Marino gets the call from ‘Phins
Cam Cameron, “At this point we’d do anything for a W, so we’re hoping we can get a spark from Marino. We need someone who knows how to win Super Bowls, so who better than Dan?” Coach also added, “Who the hell’s idea was it to name me ‘Cam Cameron’? Ma was sleeping on that one. I sound like a jackass with a stutter…”
49ers to start Trent Dilfer; Panthers give Vinny Testaverde the nod
No, seriously.
Shaun Alexander is bad at football
That’s what critics are saying, but don’t think Alexander’s career is over. He’s been injured and that can’t be helpful, as Alexander has never been able to play well through injuries, but it goes deeper than that. His line is terrible right now, as Seattle obviously felt the o-line was not a necessary evil. Plus, don’t forget he lost his lead blocker in Mack Strong. Don’t think that’s important? What has LT ever done without Lorenzo Neal? Nothing. How about Larry Johnson? In 2005, he was running behind Tony Richardson. He had 5.2 yards per carry. In 2006, Richardson left for Minnesota. LJ dropped almost a full yard per carry, but it was masked because he got an astounding 416 carries. Meanwhile, Chester Taylor had a career year with Minnesota, who suddenly became a running football team. Then, I don’t even have to tell you what’s happened with the Minnesota rushing attack so far this season (read: Peterson, Adrian). Don’t underestimate the power of the fullback.
Barry Bonds: INDICTED
Wait, did I say NFL?
Has Brett Favre finally found his running game?
Someone has finally stepped up in the Packers’ backfield and he can’t be any worse than DeShawn Wynn, Brandon Jackson, Vernand Morency, Samkon Gado, Ahman Green (recently), Noah Herron, Tony Fisher or Najeh Davenport. Who is Ryan Grant? Your guess is a good as mine, but all I know is when I typed this title, I accidently put in Brett “Farve” and Microsoft Word automatically changed it to Brett Favre. Of course, this begs the question, how much of a running game does a guy like that need?
Grossman back in the saddle
Rex Grossman is the starting quarterback. This is good news for Bernard Berrian, as Rex likes to unleash the deep ball, but it’s also good news for opposing defenses, as Rex likes to throw the ball to the other team. Rex Grossman is the starting quarterback. Griese was supposed to be the sound decision maker and game manager, but 5 games and 10 interceptions later, he had proved everyone wrong. Rex Grossman is the staring quarterback.
Rams and 49ers face off in important NFC West battle
Sounds almost as interesting as the Tallahassee Toilet Bowls against the Pittsburgh Pond Scum…
Jason David: Human Air
Studies show that New Orleans cornerback Jason David is made of 78% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon and 0.038% carbon dioxide. Only you can help out Jason David, Saints fans… PLANT A TREE!
Tony Romo… A Homo?
There has been much debate on ArmchairGM about this subject. Carrie Underwood and Gay Rights activists say no, Dr. Seuss says yes.
