STEVE-ANN A SMITH ARRESTED-- LINKS TO BRADY MURDER CONFIRMED
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by Jamel
Dec 9, 2007
You heard here first.
Allegedly Steve-anne "Asshole" Smith, columnist* for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and horrible ESPN shit show, has also been arrested at his home behind a school dumpster this morning. Allegedly police arrived at the dumpster at 8:07 am this morning finding a "still bloody" Mr Smith-- allegedly both hands and his mouth were covered in dried blood, and was drunker than a pill popping Indian named Toko.
Allegedly, as police were seen placing Steve-anne in the police car he was allegedly yelling "why won't Jessica be MY FRIEND on my myspace page. She only comments on Tony's. And Tony shouldn't even have a blog. He isn't even a sports expert!"
FBI are allegedly still looking into these rantings and determining if they are at all related to a comment Mr Smith made a few days ago in his bullshit horrible filth column of his.
"And when you look at the internet business, what’s dangerous about it is that people who are clearly unqualified get to disseminate their piece to the masses. I respect the journalism industry, and the fact of the matter is ...someone with no training should not be allowed to have any kind of format whatsoever to disseminate to the masses to the level which they can. They are not trained. Not experts."
Allegedly, undisclosed sources have linked how Steve-anne and Tony "the Homo" Romo have been allegedly fighting over who has more friends on their myspace account. Mr Romo has 9787 "friends", http://www.myspace.com/tony_romo, while Mr Smith only has 8, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=152251195. Allegedly tension grew after Jessica Simpson signed Tony's blog and wrote:
"Thanks for the boat ride-- it was fun"
Mr Smith was found while arrested with multiple copies of Jessica Simpson's CDs, and copies of all her movies: Dukes of Hazzard, Employee of the Month, Here On Earth, The Master of Disguise, and Sluts on Mars. On the dumpster the words "LOVE" were written in blood.
What this has to do with the Tom Brady murder is anyone's guess but allegedly the blood found on Mr Smith's hands and mouth have been tested and are a match to Tom Brady and the goat. The blood match was an easy test as most know that Tom Brady has an autoimmune disorder in with he lacks IgG antibodies making his blood pink.
2 days ago, allegedly Tom Brady was found dead in his bed with his beloved goat, pummeled to death with a cheese brick in the shape of of "limp dick", Brett Favre, QB for the Green Bay Packers and Tony "the Homo" Romo, were found at the scene of the crime. Again, both men have both spoken with the FBI and informed them that Peyton Manning, QB star of the Indianapolis Colts, put them up to the idea. Allegedly, Mr Manning was also taken into custody and informed the FBI that in fact Ben Roethlisberger, QB for the Pittsburgh Steelers, arranged the plan. Mr Roesthlisberger is the only man not yet in custody, allegedly.
Updates on this very important case will occur the moment the information is leaked.
The NFL, a professional sports league filled with men who participate in their "hobbies", is very shaken. Green Bay, Dallas, and Indianapolis, are struggling to come up with new game plans. New England is allegedly the only team unaffected as they still have Randy Moss who is the MVP of the league. Coach, Mr Belli-suck-cheating-bastard, was quoted as saying "shit, with the offensive line we have all we need is any old douchebag to throw the ball high up in the air. We'll be alright. Got it beee-aaatchhh..es"
That's all for now.
A Jam-Jam Productions
