Roy Williams…"The Cheap Skate"
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by LastRow
Never short on WIS-DUMB…Actually his WIS-DUMB has come to overshadow his NFL career when once again he opened up his cake hole and decided to share more with us. How nice of him to once again want to make our ears bleed. This isn’t anymore guarantees, no predictions, no "no doubt we’re the best suck ass team in the league, but after our bye week we’re going to run the table and make it to the playoffs" sort of spiel…Ironically, this tops that! I know, I was floored too…
We all know how most professional athletes are tighter than a frog’s water ass when it comes to their cheese & bread, (or whatever the newest supermarket product Hip-Hoppers have attached to the word "money? Might I suggest "garlic"!) always thinking they’re are always on food stamps! Why, the biggest names in sports are the biggest cheap asses…Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and now we must throw Roy Williams in there as well. Holy Shit, I just mentioned Roy Williams in the same breath as Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods! I don’t know if that’s good for Roy or bad for MJ and TW? At any rate RW decided to talk publicly about how cheap he is. From taking women to McDonald's when he goes on a date so she can order off the dollar menu, (I wonder if Mickey D’s brass created that just for "Roy’s Women")? To be quite honest, I prefer escorting females down to the local Krystal’s, (you can see why…They just love the "Double Cheese Krystal! And besides there’s nothing better than a Sackful of those!) Although it’s worth mentioning I don’t have a base salary of $1.5M…
So he’s cheap, right? A lot of peeps are, but noticed I said WIS-DUMB here folks…In addition to wining & dining ladies at the Golden Arches, he also declines to tip the pizza delivery man. Now it’s one thing to go see Ronald McDonald, but it’s another to pull a jam job on "pizza guy"! Who for the most part is driving your personal pan pizza to you in a ride that sports a bumper sticker somewhere that says the following, "Honk if parts fall off!". He’s wasting his/her gas to deliver you Meat Lovers pie only to get some meat stuck up the ass in leaving your casa! Ripping off the pizza guy…Do you egg cat’s houses too? Make gas runs? Toilet paper houses in Metro Motown after a big win? Drive through toll booths without paying? Man, that was so awesome to do in high school…It’s no wonder why it appeared in Friday Night Lights! The mentality of a high schooler came so natural to you!
Although good news… Williams now says he has seen the error of his ways when it comes to ordering pizza, and it all started when he pulled up next to a pizza delivery guy at a red light: "And guess who pulls up next to me?" Williams said. "Pizza Hut man. I roll my window down and I say, 'Pizza dude, how much am I supposed to tip you?' He said, 'Three, four maybe five dollars.' ... So I'm going to start tipping the pizza man." How awesome is that? Really…That’s just awesome! Does "Pizza Dude" tell you what routes to run on Sunday? And to think, we always want to run those red lights! However, it’s not just a red light that you’re blowing off…It’s not just that 90-plus seconds of sitting there wasting your life away. A red light is so much more, especially when "pizza dude" rolls up next to you chauffeur the next pie on his delivery list around…Some valuable information can be learned! Just think of when "pizza dude" comes to your house…Imagine all the knowledgeable insight he may deliver besides the pie with four different cheeses, some cinnamon balls, chicken wings, and what ever else he brings so you can clog your arteries with!
All this because of a red light…Golly gee, that's good to hear. Williams also clarifies that he has always tipped waiters and waitresses, and that he just wasn't clear on the protocol of tipping the pizza guy. Even more awesome! I wonder if he knows the proper "protocol" of giving out Trick or Treat candy…Seeing as he’s STU-DUMB when his doorbell rings. Hey, perhaps Pizza dude can explain that the next time both of them roll up to a red light. So kids, you’ve been fair warned…If Roy Williams, (of the Detroit Lions…Just wanted to clear that up. The Cowboys Roy would know how to do this. He works for the Untied Way) doesn’t have his light on outside, don’t take it personal…Because there really is nobody home at the Williams residence!
