Roger Clemens or David Beckham…
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by LastRow
Who’s the bigger loser? Or is it a joke? No, no, I believe the correct term to use would be gold digger! Yeah, that’s it! In essence that’s what these two have really been! Nothing more then your typical peroxide-blonde, fake-breasted, botoxed-faced, collagen-enhanced, anal-bleached shadow of yourself! Your classic pole hugger tease! Now for both the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Galaxy they’re wishing upon their stars that somehow, someway these two gold diggers are part of the Bad Newz Kennel group, so both clubs can follow in the footsteps of Arthur Blank and try and get back as much money as possible!
Look, we all knew in both instances it had all the bad elements that one would find on a movie set filming Home Alone 4! Dubbed as one of the most recognizable athletes in the world and more importantly, one of best soccer players in the game today, David Beckham caused an international uproar, unparalleled in the history of Major League Soccer when he signed with the Galaxy on January 11, 2007. "Beckham Mania" finally began on U.S soil in late July. The 32-year-old, one of the most recognizable figures in the game, triggered unprecedented fan interest at Los Angeles Galaxy while making serious inroads into the glitzy showbiz world of Hollywood. Well, that’s for about two weeks…Until we saw how much of a pansy ass, pussy he is. He was supposed to change the culture about soccer in this country, our perception of it, but instead he has just reiterated what we already have known for years! We don’t give a rats ass about soccer…Never have, never will! Although if Hugh Hefner and his Playboy brass developed a Playmate/Bunny soccer league…Well, that’s the only way for soccer in this country could capture our attention! Hell, we don’t even give a shit about baseball and it’s our national pastime! Or at least that’s what they say it is!
Speaking of baseball, Roger Clemens is one of the most overpowering pitchers in MLB history. As Beckham was thought to be the saviour of Major League Soccer…The "Rocket" himself was supposed to be a saviour in his own right. His mission was to be the save the Pinstripers for the 2007 season and push them towards the playoffs. Well, we know how both scripts end up being written…Both signed monstrous, outrageous, incomprehensible, contracts that were preposterous to fathom when signed. Now that both individuals have done their best gold digger impersonation the one telling question remains…Who got shafted more? The Yankees or the Galaxy? Either way you look at it both clubs got what they deserved?
Roger Clemens Salary…
Contract Signed: $28,000,022
Pro-Rated Salary: A messily $19 Mil
Salary per Start: Just under a cool mil
Salary per Inning: $142,857
Salary per Out: $47, 619
Salary per Pitch: $10,526
Salary per Strong Start: $400,000
Salary for 1,000th Yankee K: $400,000
Salary per Ejection: $400,000
- (Disclaimer…Calculated figures before poor little elbow issues)***
David Beckman Salary…
Contract Signed: $250,000,000
Salary per Start: $3,250,000
Salary per Minute: $32,663.316
Salary per Assist: $3,250.000
Salary per Goal…That’s real easy! No calculator needed…$6,500,000
NUTS AND BOLTS…WHO GOT SCREWED MORE? MORE IMPORTANTLY…WHO GOT SCREWED HARDER?
