Remembering Greatness, "Necessary Roughness"

by Hogpage

Remembering greatness

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OH....HE ONLY HAD EIGHT MEN LEFT TO BEAT Is "Necessary Roughness" the best movie nobody talks about? "Major League." "Hoosiers." "Caddyshack." "Rudy." Why, in the long list of great sports movies, is "Necessary Roughness" always left out to dry like Nikki Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, or E [1] li Manning? Why is a mix of college football, rigorous obstacles, shit your pants comedy, and Sinbad kicked to the curb in the wonderful rollercoaster that is, sports cinema? Is it because of the generic underdog storyline? Is it because it's too unrealistic? Or is it because of Rob Schneider? No, it can't be because of Rob Schneider. Whatever you're unholy excuse is for neglecting the expertise behind "Necessary Roughness", thePigPen will strive to show you why "Necessary Roughness" is the greatest sports movie ever.

This gridiron comedy tells the story of a college football team who enters a new season facing incredible challenges. The Texas State Fighting Armadillos had just won the national football championship before an investigation revealed violations throughout their entire athletic program. With their trophies and victories ripped away, the Fighting Armadillos are forced to assemble a team directly from their student-body. No scholarships. No highly touted prospects. No future 1st team All-Americans. Basically, no real talent. But with the help of a 34-year old quarterback, who luckily never used his college eligibility because of his father's death, the Fighting Armadillos are able to honor their university proudly, without actually winning.

Here are the 5 reasons why "Necessary Roughness" is the greatest spo [2] rts movie ever ____________________ 5. Sinbad is in it Thank God for casting director Mindy Marin. Think of one person who you would want as your astronomy teacher/offensive linemen/badass. If you're not thinking of Sinbad, just go over to your toilet seat, place your bottom lip on the seat, hold your breath, and have your roommate bunny-hop on lid. Because there is no actor on this planet who could play the part of Andre Krimm (which should be on list of greatest sports names, JoeSportsFan) better than Sinbad.

"It's time to paaarrrrrtaaayyyyyyy."

4. They have to play both ways I mean how brilliant was this idea. Not only are the Fighting Armadillos forced to play with a team where the majority of their players were cut from their high school football team, Dean Phillip Elias hates the football program so much he suspended the few players who had any discernible talent. Which leaves head coach Ed Gennero with 17 available players. Obviously, because Texas State didn't have enough players to field an offensive team and a defensive team, the players are forced to play both ways. Now that's excitement!

Not to mention the amusement of Rob Schneider who, as the voice of the Fighting Armadillos, chose to announce the team's defense during the first game. As we see just one Fighting Armadillo run onto the field (you might see Schneider farther down the list).

3. The fact they went 1-10 Writers Rick Natkin and David Fuller managed to make the team awful throughout the entire movie, providing us with laughs you can usually only generate through weed, but still found a way to make the season a successful one. When little Charlie Banks caught the two-point conversion in the end-zone to beat the undefeated Texas Colts in their last game of the year, it didn't matter that they finished the year 1-10. It didn't matter that they were still the laughing stock of the entire nation? The Fighting Armadillos won despite all of that. Charlie won his fight against his father. Quarterback Paul Blake won his battle against himself. Coach Ed Gennero won his battle against Dean Ellias. And, most importantly, the school won the battle against it's very own reputation. Watch out "Citizen Kane." [3] 2. Featherstone First thing first, there is something that, for some reason, has gone completely unnoticed in the movie business. And every time I watch "Necessary Roughness," and every time I hear the name Featherstone, I think about this awful display of embezzlement. For all of you guys who hate "Necessary Roughness," but thoroughly enjoy "Little Giants" (and I know there's a shit-ton of you), it's only fair that you know James Ferguson and Robert Shallcross are thieves. They just outright stole the "black guy who can't catch" character straight from Featherstone. They even stole the scene where he gets the ball stuck in his facemask. It was Featherstone's first catch also. And the toilet paper! C'mon! Think of your own shit. Cheers, to the real "black g [4] uy who can't catch", Featherstone.

1. Rob Schneider and the classic quotes Rob Schneider is absolutely hysterical as the voice of the Texas State Armadillos. If you love the overly optimistic announcer as much as I do, then you'll love Schneider in this movie. From the little girl getting hit by a freak lighting strike at halftime to his legendary line of, "Hey, that was clean kick to the face-mask," Schneider was sure to provided comical revolutions during every football scene. And again, JoeSportsFan forgot about another great sports name. One that can't be left out, Chuck Niederman. _______________________ Some other classic quotes: " ' I know we're playing the #1 team in the state of Texas and I don't want to put any undo pressure on you, but Coach Gennero's last words to me were Win...or I'll Die!" -Coach Rig

"Let's see the arm, kid! (flexes his bicep) Throw the ball, genius!" -Coach Gennero and Rig

"The Blake man pitches to Sarge, The Sargester bumps into his own man. It's a fumble! FUMBLAYA! Sargie "Fumblina" Wilkerson fumbles the ball!" -Chuck Niederman

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