Red Sox vs. Indians Game 2 Minute By Minute
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by Tyduffy
Red Sox vs. Indians Game 2 ALCS
· 8:00 – Bruce Springsteen? Fox playing someone good? Did someone forget the Bon Jovi or the Journey mix-tapes?
· 8:03 – 8:00 start my ass. Back to football.
· 8:15 – What is with this sappy music? It’s OcTOOOber!!! Not a f---ing Christmas special.
• 8:21 – Apparently the “not as hard a thrower” myth is still in full force. He was hitting 91-92 consistently against the Angels. Apparently scouting involves watching TBS and repeating whatever they say.
· 8:23 – Top 1st inning
• 8:23 – Wow! Schilling does not walk very many people and he uses the splitter as an out-pitch. Thank you Tim McCarver for your expert baseball insight and in-depth knowledge of the game. It’s not like my girlfriend hasn’t figured that out the handful of times she has watched him pitch. What would we do without baseball announcers?
· 8:24 – Schilling hits 92 on the gun
• 8:25 – Am I the only one who realizes that Grady Sizemore was a .277 hitter last season? Is there an announcer who doesn’t have a man-crush on him? He has become the baseball Brett Favre.
· 8:30 – Sizemore scores on Victor Martinez Double 1-0 Cleveland
• 8:35 – Why is James Taylor reading the Red Sox lineup from a prompter? Why is this necessary? Oh wait, he’s dropping an album.
· 8:36 – Bottom 1st Inning
· 8:38 – The speed limit hasn’t been 55 in over twenty years, Tim.
· 8:40 – Yoouuuk!
· 8:46 – F---!
· 8:49 – Top 2nd Inning
• 8:51 – He’s throwing the same stuff he was before the injury. He hasn’t reinvented himself into a finesse pitcher. He lost 2 mph on his fastball.
· 8:52 – Thanks for listing the teams in the N.L. West Tim.
· 8:54 – Why exactly is it good to hit and run with a guy who has been having trouble making contact?
• 8:58 – Dane Cook, you can’t name one player on either the Rockies or the Diamondbacks. You probably didn’t know that either team existed until you walked into the studio to film that commercial. Also, that carefully constructed tousled hair look is really flattering on you. It really distracts us from the fact that you are in your thirties.
· 8:58 – Bottom 2nd Inning
· 9:06 – Top 3rd Inning
• 9:08 – Of course, they will keep the names until after the World Series. This decision was obviously made with the integrity of the game at heart, rather than monetary interests.
· 9:14 – Bottom 3rd Inning
· 9:15 – Let’s see. Who is the most exciting person in either dugout we can mic up for today’s game. Paul Byrd? Yes!
• 9:16 – Thanks Paul Byrd that was enlightening. You know it’s bad when that was the most interesting comment he has made the entire game. Can you at least cut to a camera shot of him so we can make fun of how he looks like Kelsey Grammar?
· 9:19 – The Lugo waist-up rule is officially in effect.
· 9:20 – How about a Carmona pitch count? That might be more useful than knowing the starters for Game Three.
· 9:32 – Manny Ramirez walks in a run. 1-1
· 9:35 – Mike Lowell single drives in Pedroia and Ortiz. 3-1 Boston.
· 9:40 – Top 4th Inning
· 9:42 – Another enlightening pitching coach interview.
· 9:44 – Apparently all Japanese people look alike. Thanks Tim.
· 9:45 – No randomly distributed assortment of Fox celebrities yet? Or is that going to be saved for the World Series?
· 9:47 – Johnny Peralta 3 run home run. 4-3 Cleveland.
· 9:47 – F---!
· 9:51 – How long have they been waiting to use the “Cleveland Rocks”?
· 9:54 – Bottom 4th Inning
· 9:56 – We can’t live on one side of the plate. We get the point. Move on.
• 9:57 – Two pitching coaches seeing the same problem with a pitcher that you prompted both of them about? Who would have ever thought that would happen? That’s crazy. Only in OcTOber!!! • 9:58 – Ok, Joe Buck has now mentioned Carmona’s height and weight and referred to him as “a stud” like four or five times now. McCarver has also been describing his “stuff” a lot as “heavy and hard.” Hmmmmm…
· 10:00 – This is a crucial inning. Thanks Paul!
· 10:04 – They can mic the bullpen to get the Red Sox playing music, but can’t mic the plate?
· 10:08 – Top 5th Inning
· 10:10 – Old Reliable, Mike Lowell
· 10:11 – Grady Sizemore Home Run. 5-3 Cleveland
· 10:11 – F---!
· 10:18 – Curt Schilling leaves game. Manny Delcarmen the pitcher.
· 10:22 – You already used Cleveland Rocks.
· 10:25 – Bottom 5th Inning
· 10:27 – Carmona leaves game. Perez In.
• 10:33 – Ortiz just beat out a double play ball. That may be a first. I think I’d rather have him live to fight another day.
· 10:36 – WebMD injury report. Wow, a picture of an oblique. Thanks WebMD!
· 10:36 – Yeah! Manny Ramirez 2 run HR. 5-5
· 10:37 – Most postseason homeruns of any player. Lets see how long it takes stat guys to alert booth.
· 10:38 – Lowell HR. 6-5 Boston
· 10:40 – Perez leaves game. Lewis In.
· 10:43 – 6 minutes not bad
· 10:49 - Top 6th Inning.
· 10:56 - Franklin Gutierrez RBI. 6-6.
· 10:56 - Manny Delcarmen leaves game. Okajima Coming In.
· 10:58 – Let’s see how long it takes for them to talk about his delivery.
· 11:01 – Three minutes.
· 11:03 – “Okajima has been every bit as valuable as Dice-K if not more so” – How exactly did you calculate that?
· 11:10 – Bottom 6th Inning
· 11:10 – Nothing more annoying than Joe Buck transitions
· 11:20 - Top 7th Inning
· 11:23 – How long have they been waiting to work in that Venezuela graphic?
· 11:25 – “Okajima throws 84-86.” In McCarver world. In reality, about 90.
· 11:32 – Bottom 7th Inning
· 11:37 – Jensen leaves game. Rafael Betancourt In.
• 11:42 – Let’s see. Good Eye? No too cliché. Smart hitter? No, too blasé. I got it “pitch identification system.” What the hell does that even McCarver?
· 11:47 - Top 8th Inning
· 11:47 - Mike Timlin In game.
· 11:51 – Dusty Baker with the Reds. National League. No thoughts coming to mind.
· 11:56 – Bottom 8th Inning
• 11:59 – Sorry, high fives should only be reserved for catching a foul ball on the fly, particularly when you are a grown man and wearing a glove. Chesting the ball down to the ground and grabbing it does not really qualify.
· 12:08 – Top 9th Inning
· Papelbon In. Timlin Out
• 12:17 – Yes Pronk, Half-Project Half – Donkey. That was even more insightful the other five times you mentioned it this game.
· Bottom 9th Inning
· 12:38 – McCarver silent. Quite possible he fell asleep.
· 12:40 – Oh wait. No. He’s back.
· 12:41 – Weak performance by the Red Sox fan. You need to break up that play.
· 12:43 – Youkilis is not hanging over the plate. Who the hell is writing these scouting reports?
· 12:43 – Step off again with a runner on 2nd and no one holding him on. Please. This game hasn’t gone on long enough.
· 12:44 – F---!
· 12:48 Top 10th Inning
· 12:57 Bottom 10th
· 1:05 Top 11th
· Gagne In. Fingers crossed.
· 1:20 - )$(*#&$)#(*&^%)*#&^%(*&$#^%(*&^(#*&%^*#&%^(*#&%^*(#&%^(#*&%^#(*&^!!!!!!!
