Rangers shelac Orioles
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by RockawayCrab
This article was posted earlier on my blog.
They're partying in Texas after the Rangers simultaneously spanked, shelacked and routed the Baltimore Orioles 30-3. It's the first 30 run game in over 100 years and, strangely, coincided with the signing of O's Manager "Jinxed" Trembley to a 2 year extension.
Wes Littleton pitched three tough innings in relief and chalked up his first save. Said Littleton, "Who knew you could get a save with a 27 run lead?!"
The Texas Rangers trainer, mascot and bat boys all delivered in relief of Rangers starters too tired to run the bases. "It was like a track meet out there!", Ramon Vasquez panted through an oxygen mask. "We just wanted to do our part and keep the rally going", said Timmy, the bat boy who singled and homered to drive in 3 runs. Rusty the three-legged dog came on in the sixth, hit for the cycle, scored twice and delivered 4 RBI's. When asked how it felt to get knocked around by a dog, O's pitcher Brian Burres would only say, "Rough."
Andy MacPhail, Orioles president of operations has since traded the entire squad to Japan in an unheard of swap for the Japanese Little League team. when asked for comment, MacPhail snapped, "They're in some kind of World Series, aren't they?!"
