RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES MINUTE BY MINUTE
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by Tyduffy
· 8:00 – Chevy and Baseball have a love affair, and what a hot, sweaty, slightly disturbing affair that is. The Odds and Sods is blogging live from our cramped offices one block from historic Fenway Park. The Champagne is on ice. The riot squad is parked outside the door. It’s a great night for baseball.
· 8:08 – Would you really trust an elimination game in the World Series to a guy who hasn’t started in over two months?
· 8:11 – Why does that one generation of people who came of age in the 1980’s think U2 is the greatest most rockin band of all-time? And why are these people (now 40) in charge of picking the music that is supposed to get everyone fired up for game time? Joshua Tree was released twenty years ago! How old do you feel now?
· 8:20 – Tim picked out a lovely blonde shade for tonight’s broadcast.
· 8:30 – Keys to the Game. Red Sox – Win. Rockies – Win. Thanks Tim. How much time did you put into this one? 20? 30? Seconds.
· 8:31 – Ellsbury hits a double. The carnage begins.
· 8:33 – Ortiz his a single. Ellsbury scores from third. 1-0 Boston.
· 8:35 – Always assume that you are going to score a lot of runs. Brilliant strategy, Tim.
· 8:43 – The humidor is a government conspiracy, to keep Matt Holliday from destroying their satellites.
· 8:49 – The beard is a good look for Varitek. He should keep it.
· 8:50 – Yes Rockies fans keep waving your white flags.
· 8:55 – HGHelton legs out a double.
· 8:57 – Again, why does everyone think Ortiz can’t play defense? He’s a solid B- first baseman.
· 8:59 – The Rockies are wearing home-white and sleeves. Is this so they can look like a legitimate franchise when this game is shown on ESPN classic?
· 9:01 – The “Rox” have also surpassed their quota of gumpy white guys with names that are difficult to spell.
· 9:10 - Oooh, dinner with Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. I bet that conversation was riveting. They have such natural chemistry in the booth together. Is there a J Bucks in Denver?
· 9:21 – “On deck the (heavy breath in) hottest Colorado hitter, Matt Holiday”
· 9:21 – Uh-oh, looks like that pitch was duh duh…duh duh… duh duh duh duh…Tulo!
· 9:22 – Matt Holliday doesn’t strike out. He strikes in.
· 9:25 – Todd, Troy, Matt, Brad, and Garrett. They sound like a suburban little league team.
· 9:29 – Hello? Yeah, that’s me. My seats are directly behind the plate. I’m wearing bright red. How does my tan look? Is my skin a succulent cocoa butter brown? I’m going to wave now. Look at me. Look at me.
· 9:32 – “If that was the case we’d be seeing marathon runners wearing helmets.” Hilarious stuff, Tim.
· 9:51 – Jason Varitek single. Mike Lowell scores. 2-0 Red Sox.
· 9:53 – Our first “Bob Apadaca” sighting.
· 10:04 – Did Fox just superimpose a Chevy add onto the sign of someone in the crowd? Or, did they just superimpose people into the crowd. Either way…isn’t that just a wee bit of overkill?
· 10:06 – “He wasn’t up there hitting. He was up there bunting.” What? That also had nothing whatsoever to do with Ortiz playing first.
· 10;12 – Cook got a base hit on a bunt. So, therefore, it was the correct decision to leave him in to bat. You just made the point earlier in the broadcast that he was a decent hitting pitcher. Perhaps, they trusted Cook more than whomever was on the bench?
· 10:14 – Big Sports Day on Fax! Yes! We’re awesome!
· 10:19 – Matt Holliday popped up before we could come up with a Matt Holliday fact.
· 10:22 – You can’t come up with an adjective to describe Jon Lester’s performance tonight. Great, magnificent, potent, awe-inspiring, marvelous, imposing, majestic, superb, virtuoso, outstanding, masterly, resplendent, jaw-dropping, dominant, commanding, ascendant, supreme
· 10:32 – Mike Lowell home run. 3-0 Boston.
· 10:42 – Every single person in New England just said collectively “Who the fuck is Lonestar?”
· 10:44 – I like a good Coors as much as the next red-blooded American, but what does “the banquet beer” mean? Is it so high-quality it would be served at a banquet? Is it so filling it is a meal into itself? Most importantly, if I am a college graduate and can’t figure this out, it’s probably not a very effective catchphrase.
· 10:48 – Brad Hawpe home run. 3-1 Boston.
· 11:01 – Timlin brought out the Camo Under Armour. He means business.
· 11:01 Tu-lo!!!! with the strikeout.
· 11:06 – Bobby Kielty home run on first pitch. 4-1 Boston.
· 11:09 – Thank you Alex Rodriguez! Let’s make sure that everyone is talking about you when another team wins the World Series. Thanks for leaking that during the game. Yes, please talk more about this. It’s not like a team is about to WIN THE WORLD SERIES or anything.
· 11:13 – Still talking about Alex Rodriguez.
· 11:25 – Full riot squad deployed on Boylston and Brookline Aves. Dogs, Horses, and Helicopters. Crowd of about thirty people gathered.
· 11:26 – Okajima looks away when he throws to the plate, because if he looks at Matt Holliday, he will go blind.
· 11:34 – Atkins hits two-run home run. 4-3 Boston.
· 11:39 – Use that Gwen Stefani song to get motivated. It’s not like it’s the World Series or anything.
· 11:40 – Clap your hands….
· 11:50 – All of those forlorn Rockies fans seeing their dreams crushed once again. It has been a long 14 years of suffering.
· 11:56 – The Champagne is ready to go.
· 12:00 – Torrealba Grounds out. Two more.
· 12:02 – SIGH….DEEP BREATH…Carroll flies out. One out away!
· 12:03 – They have a guy named Seth too…Come on…the whitest team ever.
· 12:23 – YEAHHHHH!H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
