Qemmet's 2006 MLB All-Star Game Diary
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by user Qemmett
Here's my running diary of the 2006 MLB All-Star Game, which, if remaining steadfast to tradition, will probably end in a tie and feature as much effort as George Foreman on the South Beach Diet.
8:01 - Fox's intro to the game was bizarre and horribly put together, featuring a bunch of middle school California kids partying in their parents' hot tub and watching the "stars" fly by overhead. What idiot came up with this? Whatever happened to the old days of showing highlight clips of the players from the season so far. That's why these guys are here, right...?
8:02 - The Fox crew is doing a fine job of dooming the National League yet again, throwing up every statistic they can find about the many ways the NL is doomed. Honestly, this is scary: the best team in the National League is the New York Mets, who have a great offense and play in an awful division, basically guaranteeing a pennant, but will Pedro and Tom Glavine hold up to throw 5-7 games each in October? Pedro's hip is worse than my grandmother's and this team doesn't have a third starter that can honestly contend with an American League lineup, much less the best of the best. I'm all for the Mets making it all the way, but the Red Sox series wasn't exactly a promising vision of the future.
8:19 - Player introductions: Nomar really looks like he's happy to be there, as if he's 25 again. It's great to see and really is wonderful thing for baseball. I think we all forgot how damn good Nomar was, is and still can be. Let's not forget, his nickname in Boston was "The Messiah".
8:24 - All of the players are running out with blue ball type jobbies in their hands; wouldn't it be great if they were water balloons? Can't you just see A-Fraud catching a water bomb to the face in front of 50,000 people? It would make my year.
8:30 - 8 out of 10 for Carrie Underwood, this year's Star Spangled Banner performer. Wow, what a voice. And...um...voice.
8:38 - I think, just maybe, that if ever, this is the year the National League might have a chance. They have a group of guys, who I honestly believe could be led by David Wright, that are young enough and talented enough to not really give two s**ts about the past eight years. The biggest pity of this entire game is that we don't get to see Jose Reyes, one of the game's two best men to have on base, versus Ivan Rodriguez, the best throwing catcher in the history of baseball.
8:42 - Big Papi has 87 RBI before the break. Does he have a shot at Hack Wilson's 191? Probably not, but it'll be a fantastic race to watch. Fun, ridiculous statistic: Gehrig hit 175 in 1927 for possibly the greatest team of all time. He was only 24 at the time. Wow.
8:47 - Brad Penny struck out Ichiro to start the game, almost hit Jeter in the face and hasn't thrown a pitch slower than 95 miles an hour. This could be quite the performance.
8:50 - Penny still hasn't thrown anything but a fastball and has blown away two straight batters. Thanks to Fox for miking him so we can live vicariously through his grunts. Wow. 99. Penny is quite obviously looking to replicate Pedro's '99 performance, when he struck out 5 of the first 6. If Papi catches up to one of theses balls, it's going over the river. I'm calling it now....nevermind. 98 MPH to strike out the AL side.
8:58 - Bottom of the 1st, Beltran leads off with a hit. I repeat, don't count these guys out yet. It's only a matter of time before Kenny Rogers gives up a bomb and stabs Ozzie Guillen for questioning his manhood from the dugout stairs, opening the floodgates of hell.
9:03 - The top thirteen single season RBI performances are all pre-1939. Pop quiz hotshot, any idea why the closest anyone's come is Manny Ramirez (165) in 1999?
9:05 - I'm willing to bet Brad Penny doesn't finish the season after blowing out his elbow. He's not exactly Mr. Infallible, and throwing 99 for two innings for the first time ever doesn't exactly bode well for September. Do you think Grady Little is freaking out, or sitting cross legged with a Miller High Life, going "let's leave him in another inning and see what happens."
9:08 - Vlad the Impaler has just taken Brad Penny deep, with a freakish reach shot of an up and away 98 MPH fastball. I just don't think anyone else in baseball could do that.
9:16 - David Wright, line drive over the left field fence. I CALLED THIS. Mike Schmidt who? Tie game, folks. Wright's been crushing balls since we were twelve years old in the 757 and is showing no signs of slowing down.
9:24 - Magglio Ordonez is pinch hitting for Kenny Rogers and I can't help but notice the very eerie resemblance to my little sister's Cabbage Patch Doll.
9:27 - I hate Tim McCarver. I really do. On the other hand, the Joe Buck groupie commercials are great rip-offs of the SportsCenter commercials. I give Buck no credit on these however, and still think he should kindly go to hell.
9:29 - Is Miami Vice going to be great because Colin Farrell went to drug rehab for all of the coke he did just to "get into" the part? Want to be a method actor kids? Learn from Colin! When Wesley Snipes gets into a role, he walks around the set pretending he's actually a vampire. Colin Farrell takes it to a deeper, more introspective level, by burying his nose in a swimming pool of the pure white stuff. Fannnnnntastic.
9:33 - Alfonso Soriano singles to get on and challenges I-Rod on the very next pitch, taking second. Great play for the game and the fans.
9:35 - I have a very large and very appropriate man crush on Albert Pujols. The NL team is taking small ball back to school, stealing bases and challenging the AL squad. They refuse to lose this game.
9:41 - Ozzie Guillen is miked and Buck's questioning his strategy now down a run. Guillen: "Well, that's okay Joe, they can get a lead, but we have A-Rod in the clutch. Wait. Shit." I'm a bit torn here, I want the NL to win and restore some pride to the old school, but I don't like the idea of the AL losing home-field for the Red Sox sake. Hmm. This could mean trouble.
9:44 - A-Rod up to bat...weak groundout to short, end of the inning. Yay! Is it possible that A-Rod is actually clutch, at not being clutch? Is that possible? Does it make sense? Evaluate and discuss.
9:50 - http://www.shutuptimmccarver.com/
9:53 - Players I Think Either Were or Are on Steroids/HGH (including the obvious): Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds, Bobby Abreu, Miguel Tejada, Roger Clemens, Gary Sheffield, Jason Grimsley, Brady Anderson, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, John Rocker...more to come.
10:24 - (excuse the interruption, ice cream called) Bottom of the 6th, National League still up 2-1. Most starters are still in the game and joking faces have turned serious. This is beginning to shape up a bit like the 2004 game when Hank Blalock hit a game winning HR for the American League. Pujols has been a bit of a dissapointment, but he can't be perfect every day. Can he?
In other news, Scott Kazmir is still fantastic, and the Mets are still idiots for trading him. This could go down as a bigger blunder than the Red Sox and Jeff Bagwell.
(Fell asleep...my apologies)
~Quinn
www.FutureLeadersofAmerica.blogspot.com
Date
Wed 07/12/06, 6:48 pm EST
