Pro Sports Ramble
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NFL The Browns, whom you might remember as the team perfectly positioned to take Adrian Peterson in this year's draft, signed Jamal "man, I wish it was still 2003" Lewis to a one year deal worth roughly $3.5M (up to $5M with incentives). That is approximately $600/lb for Jamal or $40,000 per rushing yard. Give or take.
In a move that could be titled "Coach Killer IV: Blank's Ultimatum" the Falcons signed free agent WR Joe Horn. If you are very quiet and listen ever so closely, you can hear Matt Schaub giggling with delight somewhere in the distance.
My Anyone But Quinn campaign continues. I will now list all of the realistic first-round picks that would be a better fit for Houston. Calvin Johnson, ALAN BRANCH, Jamaal Anderson, Leon Hall, JOE THOMAS, LEVI BROWN, Reggie Nelson, AMOBI OKOYE, Aaron Ross, Lawrence Timmons.
NBA LeBron and the Cavs decided to buck history and not mail in their matchup with Detroit. Lo and behold, King James dropped 41, dominated the last half of the fourth quarter and most of overtime, and punctuated the win by sending a Rip Hamilton layup into the middle of next week. The only question left after the win is whether the mention of LeBron James by name fourteen times in one game recap article is some kind of record.
So, the league was all like "you can't hit people in the face just because you're frustrated." And then Kobe was like, "yeah, well, I'm Mamba and I do what I want." And then the league was all, "whatever." And Kobe was like, "whatever" and he went out and did another girly slap to a foreign player's face. So, the league was like, " how you gon' play me like that?"
MLB Bud Selig is unsure whether Barry Bonds will cooperate with the Mitchell Investigation. In other news, Selig is also unsure if dogs like cats, if Entertainment Tonight is tired of covering Anna Nicole, and if OJ is still looking for the real killer.
Kris Benson suffered a set-back in his rehabilitation program, which will likely cause him to have surgery. Said Benson, "If I do miss the season, I guess I'll just be forced to sit around the house, have sex with my incredibly hot wife, and laugh about the amount of money I've been paid throughout a mediocre career."
