Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather

by user Josh Q. Public

Josh Q. Public: Hurry home early, hurry on home. Boom Mancini’s fighting Bobby Chacon.

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OK, here we go! In this corner, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan, the undefeated, new Welterweight Champion of the World, Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather! How good is he? That’s what we all want to know. How good is this cat they call the Pretty Boy? Well, he’s good. Real good. He is undefeated since making his pro debut back in 1996. Never been beat. He is undefeated with a record of 37-0. He is undefeated with 24 knockouts. Fresh off of a Golden Gloves title. Fresh off a cotroversial Bronze Medal. Pretty Boy tears through the Super Featherweight division. Knocking out everybody. Knocking out 12 of fourteen opponents on the road to the Belt. Earns Ring Magazine’s Fighter of the Year 1998. Enter Diego Chico Corrales. Both men undefeated. Neither man knocked down. You never got me down, Ray. You hear me, you never got me down. Jake LaMotta style. Not until that night. Biggest fight of the Pretty Boy’s life. Pretty Boy laid down the hammer. And again. And again. And again. And again. The last two agains, two sharp right hands to the chin. That was enough. Chico’s corner stopped the fight. Who’s a punk now Chico man? I’d paint three of those murals for some of that ass! Pretty Boy fights twice more as a Super Featherweight. He wins twice more. A 3-year reign of terror.

I’m da boss, I’m da boss, I’m da boss…Jumps up to Featherweight. Fights four fights. Fights four championship fights. Wins four championship fights. Three unanimous decisions. The fourth a slugfest. South African knockout king Phillip the Time Bomb Ndou. The Time Bomb 31-1. The Time Bomb 30 KOs. Thomas Wolfe was wrong. You can go home again. Grand Rapids, Michigan. Pretty Boy comes out swinging. And swinging. And swinging. Three monster rights. The first landed flush on the cheekbone. Time Bomb’s knees buckled. Two more hammering rights to the head. Time Bomb collapsed to one knee. Time Bomb pitched over. Face first onto the canvas. Referee Frank Garza waved off the contest at 1:50 of the seventh round. He knocked him out! Glass Joe style. Still undefeated Champion of the World!

Super Lightweight. Arturo Thunder Gatti. Dale Earnhardt Jr’s boy. Fought in Ring Magazine’s “Fight of the Year” three years in a row. Fan favorite. Jersey boy. WBC Super Lightweight Champion of the World. Atlantic City. Pretty Boy calls Gatti a “C+ fighter,” “a fake,” and “a blown-up club fighter.” Other pre fight quotes. Gatti’s trainer, Buddy McGirt: ”Arturo’s going to hit him everywhere except the bottoms of his feet. We’re going to hit him in the Magoolah Abdullah.” Not even close. Wrecking balls. Combination after combination. At will. Gatti’s face a mess. He ain’t pretty no more. Tony Janiro style. Boardwalk Hall silent. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? Gatti unable to continue. The referee stops the fight. And the winner by technical knockout, in the sixth round, and the new Super Lightweight Champion of the World, Floyd Mayweather.” Pretty Boy beats the living piss out of Arturo. Pretty Boy Floyd, still undefeated champion of the world! The chit-chat begins. Is he the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world?

Welterweight. The Pride of Brooklyn, Super Zab Judah. The IBF and vacant IBO World Welterweight titles up for grabs. Nobody’s picking Super Jab. Nobody. Booming lefts. Body blow! Body blow! Bald Bull style. Judah’s nose and mouth bloody. Chuck Wepner style. His right eye closed. Pretty Boy taunting: ”Is that all ya got?…You ain’t hurtin me.” Judah lands a disgusting low blow, Tyler Brayton style. All for naught. Unanimous decision. The new Welterweight Champion of the World! Who’s got next? Who’s got next? Golden Boy De la Hoya? Junior Middleweight Champ Corey The Next Generation Spinks. Son of Michael? Nephew of Leon? Nope. WBC and The Ring Welterweight Champion Carlos Baldomir. That was Friday. Pretty Boy put on a veritable ”boxing clinic.” Took Baldomir’s WBC and Ring Welterweight titles . Pretty Boy Floyd, still undefeated champion of the world! Mayweather has won four World Boxing Championships in four different weight classes. No more chit-chat. Pretty Boy is the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world. In an emotional scene after the Baldomir fight, he said he will retire after his next fight. A fight against Golden Boy Oscar De La Hoya. I’ll believe it when I see it. josh q. public