Possibly Some New NHL Marketing Ideas, hmm?
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by user LastRow
For the NHL, well, life is pretty bleak to say the least. Even before the season ending lockout a few years back, the league was struggling to find support. Now, I don’t know about you, but when the NHL had a "real" (that’s the key word here) television contract with ESPN I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. Okay, let me be more specific…I enjoyed watching it when it came to the playoffs. Sorry to say, but a mid-January game between Atlanta and Columbus or Nashville and Florida didn’t make my blood bubble. However, as we all know, since the supposedly "new NHL" has come back to the ice to try to reinvent itself, the puck has been shot around in empty arenas. Well, I’m hear to tell you that I’ve come with some ideas that I believe will put fannies back in the seats…So listen up Bettman! Take Notes!
Speaking of fannies I really feel like Mickey Meyer would be a welcomed addition to the NHL. Who’s Mickey Meyer you ask? Legitimate question, I guess. Apparently this University of Southern California hockey goalie put on a show, but it has nothing to do with stopping flying frozen rubber traveling up to 100 MPH. Sure doesn’t. I mean really that’s a bit overrated…Every goalie does that, right? Hell, why not ride your goalie stick like a horse, drop your bulky pants, moon the crowd and slap your buttocks during a game. "I had my fill of these refs," Meyer said. Now that, that right there my friends is worth the price of admission. These circus like antics occurred while play was stopped and referees were trying to sort out penalties in the third period of a consolation game in the ACHA West Regional tournament at Eccles Ice Center. I take it either Mickey wasn’t thirsty or had no water left in his water bottle? One of the two!
Now we’ve all been to hockey games…Why would we? Tickets are so affordable…I love going, for I don’t have to sit in the LastRow. However, we all know that hockey entertainment during timeouts & intermissions are lame & virtually non existent…So big kudos should go to Meyer for trying to spice things up! One would think he’d be condemned for giving a hockey game between the University of Southern California and Brigham Young University some zest to it…Rather he was ejected and ticketed for lewdness, a misdemeanor, after an officer who was working security at the rink said he witnessed the scene. What, it must be a BYU thing…Do morons frown upon slapping that ass. I don’t know what’s bigger news here, Mickey Meyer, (what kind of name is that anyway…What were his parents thinking?) slapping that ass or that the University of Southern California & Brigham Young both have hockey teams? Either way, definitely worth the price of admission! See Gary, this would with out a doubt work for your floundering league. Where else can one attend a sporting event and have a police report filled stating…The junior from Clinton, N.Y., was "riding his hockey stick like a horse and slapping his butt," North Park Officer Mike Stauffer said in a report. After pulling down his pants, Meyer slapped his bare bottom several times, Stauffer said. The next time the Philadelphia Flyers and the New York Islanders are scheduled to do a free skate…Would something like this get more tail feathers in the in the seat, (no pun intended)? Although, I’d be holding out to see Ed Belfour do this act.
If Gary’s not into the whole buttocks thing, perhaps his marketing firm of "Dumb & Dumber" could take a page out of the American Hockey League Syracuse Crunch’s promotional/marketing guide? By offering Britney Spears a quiet weekend getaway by extending to the troubled pop singer an all expense paid trip to snow bound northern New York. Yeah, that’s the ticket…This should gets fans coming out in droves! Why I might even have to use two hands to count the number of people this is going to bring out. However, Gary can always use all the fans he can get. An all expense paid trip to snow bound northern New York, huh…Gee, that sounds too good to pass up! However, I’m tore between that and the Bismark, North Dakota trip, so I know BritBrit must be!
"The team and community want to provide Britney Spears with a stress-free environment and the chance to experience a high level of hockey," said Crunch…In addition to being 3,000 miles away from Hollywood , Syracuse is light years away from that pretentious environment. "There won't be paparazzi within a 100 miles." Oh yeah, lets not forget to mention human life either. Britney Spears and hockey…Gary, have you thought about that combination any? Why the NHL could follow in The Crunch’s footsteps by offering any woman who shaves her head free tickets to games and dub it, "Ladies Smooth as Ice Night". Although fellas, we all know females are "As Cold as Ice"…Am I right? Or perhaps better yet if Spears accepts the invitation, front office members of the NHL can also shave their heads and then put it on EBAY too. If this doesn’t give your ratings a boost Gary…Nothing will! I just figured since the NHL and Britney Spears are rapidly approaching the status of Anna Nicole Smith, why not reach out to each other for help? Hell, you both need it! If it doesn’t work, oh well…It’s better to die together than alone, I guess? Hey Gary, why don’t you see if Vanilla Ice can help your league out too. Just think of the marketing that could bring to the NHL!
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