Pirates should kidnap All-Stars
| 12
|
by user Rizzo42789
With all of the talent in the city of Pittsburgh this week, I have an idea for the worst team in Major League Baseball - the Pittsburgh Pirates. They kidnap some of the players who are in town and hold them for ransom.
A Pirate is defined as one who robs or plunders the land from the sea without commission from a soverign nation.
So why not live up to the name? Things can't get any worse for the Pirates as they are on pace to lose 100 games. They have had a losing record for 13 consecutive seasons and things are not looking bright for the future. The ownership group does not want to spend what it takes to win so I say steal the talent.
Even if they can only get a few million dollars for each player that money can be put towards player development or signing a few free agents who can make an impact.
Or better yet, if the Pirates were allowed to keep what they stole, the players would add much needed protection in the lineup for the two players the Pirates have who are actually decent players- Jason Bay and Freddy Sanchez.
Since Bud Selig is incompetent, he did ignore the whole steroids issue for along time, the Pirates might be able to pull it off. But they need to focus in on the players who play for clubs with some cash. Boston and New York (Mets or Yankees) would be the teams to focus on, since they spend the most cash in the league on players.
Here are the two most valuable players the Pirates kidnap:
David Wright, third baseman, New York Mets
Has a .316 batting average with 20 home runs and 74 RBI and while Pirates third baseman Freddy Sanchez is an All-Star with a better average, Wright would provide long term stability at the hot corner. The Pirates have always had a big hole at third base and anyone is better than Joe Randa. The Mets would probably be willing to pay a premium for Wright who is 23 and has become a big star in the Big Apple.
David Ortiz, first baseman, Boston Red Sox
Big Papi would be the ideal person for the Pirates to hold hostage, as he is the most important player on the Red Sox. While his 31 home runs and 87 RBIs are terrific stats, his most important contribution is clutch hits. He has hit four walk off home runs this season. Four. The Pirates don't get clutch hits on a consistent basis, which is why they are 30-60.
Sure kidnapping is wrong, but desperation is starting to set in here in the Steel City. While many are counting down the days to Steelers season, I am trying to fix the problem. So if some players are missing after the All-Star break, you know where they went. We are the "Pirates" after all.
Date
Tue 07/11/06, 7:34 am EST
