Phoenix's Basketball Team Is Going ALL the Way This Year!
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by Manny "WNBA Forever" Stiles
I saw 'em play with mine own eyes. I saw how good they are. They have one of the game's best point guards, they have dominant post play that can get out and run, they can score in the lane with ease and shoot the three with sharpshooter's precision. They score at will, leading their league in points per game and play at a pace nearing reckless abandon. Their "big three" is as good and/or better than any other team's best three players. They are going to run the table in the playoffs and bring home a Championship to Phoenix, FINALLY after all these years!!!
That's right. Diana Taurasi, Cappie Pondexter, Penny Taylor and Kelly Miller are bringing a Championship to Phoenix.
I went to the Phoenix Mercury's first round playoff clinching game against the Seattle Storm. It was a much better atmosphere than I had figured upon.
We (the Stiles Family) got REALLY good seats for only $10 each and were THOROUGHLY entertained the entire time. Despite the preconceptions that only lesbians go to these events, I wanted to see for myself and get sneered at for having a penis if it was true.
My wife played college basketball and is knowledgeable in the game but internally resents the success that the pro women basketball players recieve while she toils in pick-up, kicking asses of bragadocious men throughout the various gyms and playgrounds in Valley of the Sun.
It was a particularly good omen for the day when Dr. Jessie Maguire played the Star Spangled Banner - a "good luck charm" of sorts for the local sports franchises. About a third of the way in, he decided he was going to GO FOR IT and he let out what has to be the second-best Star Spangled Banner I have ever heard (live or recorded), Marvin Gaye's '83 All-Star version will always be #1. Gaye's version should be the "Official" version. They should just play that video of him every time we need the anthem played at a sporting event.
Awww.. here it is... I can't reference it without wanting to see it again...
So as I wiped away the misted lashes of American Pride and sat in my seat, I had already noticed that I was drawn to the court like an electromagnet in an iron foundry. Through the haze of older, butchier lesbian couples and the sight of hundreds of spiky haired and tattoed, mohawked Grannydykes I saw her, The hundreds of beautiful straight women there was well appreciated as was the presence of many hot lesbian babes yet I couldn't stop looking at her.. More appreciated was the VERY open and clean Men's bathrooms!!! But there she was... There's a LOT of things a guy can appreciate at a WNBA game INCLUDING the basketball!!!
BUT, my eyes couldn't leave her! I took no less than 200 pictures of her. I gawked and stood dumbfoundedly. She was striking and just angelically glowing. She stood out and above for more than just being 6'5". There she was...
Lauren Jackson COMMANDS the attention. She isn't the hottest babe in the world anymore than Michael Jordan was the hottest man in the world. But there is a tremendous amount of sexiness to her. She led the WNBA in scoring and rebounding (again) and was also named the league's Defensive Player of the Year. She plays HARD and is always motoring. She seems to be a ball magnet and is the most graceful 20-10 player on the planet. Of course, I'm gonna gush about her...
And it's not just fans, basketball aficionados and horny perverts that can't look away from #15, my wife even noted several times that she was beautiful and even more times about how GOOD of a player she is (my wife gaped her maw "she's hot" as I snapped pictures brainlessly) the opposing teams do EVERYTHING they can to stop her and it doesn't matter. Double teams, triple teams... LJ will get her points!
From the very begining of the game, it seemed like it was Phoenix against Lauren Jackson (who scored the Storm's first 7 points). It was definitely the Lauren Jackson Show. And I was watching. Sue Bird couldn't get it going early on and committed a couple turnovers and took some ill-advised shots.
Phoenix was taking a blowout in the making and turning it into a laugher when Sue Bird started heating up in the Third Quarter. Bird drained (what seemed like) 80 three pointers in a row and the game was tied with less than 3 minutes left.
Then it was CP time! Cappie Pondexter, busted some ankles, slashed the lane, picked up and-one's (and went 10-10 FT) and all Seattle could do was foul. Kelly Miller's veins turned to ICE, nailing key shot after key shot. Diana Taurasi (who shoots her threes from NBA range) nailed a big three to seal it and went nuts getting the crowd VERY into the game. DT is a straight up street baller at times and is a fascinating athlete and supreme competitor, for sure.
Lauren Jackson fought through the entire game, Sue Bird showed why she is SO good after a cold start and the two are truly amongst the world's most dominant athletes in their sport. But they weren't enough to beat the Mercury.
Although Lauren Jackson has a definite star presence and for a freekishly tall chick, is smoking hot as well; She is the best pound-for-pound basketball player on earth (Imagine Tim Duncan if he could shoot 3s and pass like Steve Nash) - I'm still taller than her!
Yeah... I was already a fan of the WNBA, so maybe I'm skewed, but after going to a game... it was LOUDER, more energetic and WELL worth the price of admittance!
It was a playoff game between two of the better teams in the game, but it was more entertaining than I hoped for (Hell, the anthem was worth the admission!!!)
I would recommend to anyone who anyone considering attending a game - you and/or your kids will enjoy it. It's a cheap ticket to a great game of basketball with ear-piercing shrieks and screams of thousands of girls!
The game is faster and better than you think, my daughter can't wait to go again and it's better than you think and the crowd is VERY energetic (as long as the onslaught of grannydykes don't cause you to lose your lunch).
