Old Men of Wonder
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by Proseballer
Sometimes the ball bounces your way, other times it doesn't. And then some other times the ball doesn't even have enough air in it to bounce anywhere, it just lays there flat on the ground, lifeless. Kind of like the Bills in Monday night's game. The Bills and Spineless Dick Jauron literally gave the Cowboys their fifth win of the season. How do you force 6 turnovers in the game, score on two defensive touches and another on special teams and STILL LOSE? Answer? You play prevent when you should be playing press coverage. Answer: You were playing to lose.
Midway through the fourth quarter, actually, right about the time they showed Jim Kelly on the sideline, I knew the Bills would blow it. I thought everyone might commit mass suicide in the stands after Nick Folk's second kick went through the uprights, but really, the Bills fans have been here before, they must be numb to it by now.
I went 7-7 this week to bring my record to 42-35 for the year thus far, which would put me at about the fourth seed in the NBA's Leastern Conference. And speaking of the NBA, how bout Tony Massenburg making an appearance with the Washington Wiz during training camp? He was born in 1967, which puts him at a Julio Franco-esque 41. If Tony makes the squad this year I will have to buy a jersey, and hopefully he is cool enough to request number 41 for his age. Wasn't there someone who did that before? Can't think of it right now.
Old men are all over the sporting world right now. Kurt Warner is back in his rightful position as starting QB after Leinart went down with a season ending injury, but really, even without the injury it's probably safe to say that Kurt would have been starting this week instead of Leinart. It was like the Cardinals were just hoping that either, A. Matt would finally live up to his billing as a great QB out of USC, or B. He would get hurt and the obviously better Warner would be able to start without any controversy surrounding it. Something finally went right for them. Now to top it off hopefully we get to see Kurt's wife in the stands, I am on a 24/7 haircut watch for Mrs. Warner.
Vinny Testaverde, another ageless wonder, got signed today for one year by the Panthers to back up David Carr now that Delhomme is out for the year with elbow surgery. The question is, how many games until The Bird Man is starting? I'll give him 3 games. He has been in the league for so long that he probably already knows the playbook by heart so it's just a matter of getting acquainted with his new teammates, which will probably be like asking your kid to get acquainted with their Uncle. All it takes is one tickle fest and he will be Steve Smith's favorite in no time.
Father time didn't smile on all the old guys out there last weekend though. Trent Green went down with a serious concussion as a result of a nasty block he tried to lay on a 500 pound defender. I've heard all sorts of debate as to whether or not it was a cheap shot, and even more talk about the cheapness of Johnson then standing over Trent Green as he examined the grass at the 45 yard line. When I saw the replay I didn't think it was a cheap shot as much as I thought Trent Green thought about performing a chop block but then midway through decided this was the worst decision he has made in a long time and curled up in a ball to absorb the hit that was coming. Unfortunately his head absorbed most of it. The good news for the Fins? Cleo Lemon has one of the coolest names out there. Win or lose his name gives way for great healines: "He's No Lemon!" Or, "Lemon Leaves a Sour Taste in the Browns Mouth." Or, "Turns out he's a Lemon..."
Finally, the NBA is underway, as mentioned above, and in about an hour the Celtics and the Minnesota Celtics will play the most meaningful meaningless game in the young T'Wolves lives. This might be the one pre-season game, other than every Blazers game, that I want to watch. Minnesota could literally put out a starting lineup of former Celtic players to combat the three-headed monster in the East. Who knows how long their three stars are going to play, but you can bet all your marbles that when those three are out there Minnesota is going to be playing like it's game 7 of the Finals. Which is cute because it will be eons until they get there.
This just in: Allan Houston is going back to the Knicks. Incredible. Probably the worst move he could ever make, why in the world would you want to join the circus at his age? He is in no shape to be shot out the cannon again.
