Oilers-Canes--game 7--Live-blogged

Not to get all Simmons-ey on you, but one of the few rules by which I live my life is that when there's a game 7 to decide the championship of a major sport, even one that's no longer considered 'major' by the Americans; and especially when a beloved Canadian team is prominently involved, I must keep a running diary of the proceedings. Of course I'm talking about game 7 of the Oilers-'Canes series to decide who gets to hoist Lord Stanley's Cup.

So, without further ado, and live from Carolina (and my couch), it's Game Seven! "We want the Cup! We want the Cup! We want the Cup!"

Pregame

-The CBC runs the normally chills-inducing pregame montage of highlights from the first six games of the series; naturally, they ruin everything by setting it to the gawd-awful music of Nickelback.

-CBC quickly redeem themselves as we are treated to Edmonton Oilers highlights set to Orleans's Still The One. Bizarre musical choice, yes, but anything is better than Nickelback.

-Reason no.563 why it's great to live in Canada. Don Cherry. Americans might think they have it made with their wacky leather-loving TV personalities, however, no one compares to good ol' Grapes in terms of sheer insanity. Cherry is wearing one of his patented suits from 1971 tonight, which is phenomenal on just about every level.

First Period

-Still not sure who to root for tonight? Consider the Edmonton goalie's first name: Jussi (pronounced You-See). How can you not cheer for a guy named Jussi? It's impossible.

-By the way, the fine broadcasting team of Harry Neale and Bob Cole are bringing us today's contest.

-Holy f*ck! Carolina's Aaron Ward scores a minute and a half into the hockey game. Not good times, at all.

-The Oilers are out of sorts to start the game, obviously. It's understandable once you consider the fact that practically the entire country is watching tonight's game with enormous expectations, while hardly anyone outside of the 'Canes's arena cares about the outcome of the contest.

-Carolina continues to pepper Jussi (hehe) Markkanen with dangerous shots; taking a 9-5 lead in shots on goal, and winning 10 of the 17 faceoffs in the opening period.

-Disaster is avoided when a controversial goal-line call (one in which TV replays showed an Oiler falling on the puck as it entered the net off the stick of a Cane--which usually results in a penalty shot) goes in Edmonton's favor.

Second Period

-We now enter the second period; Carolina is up 1-0. Harry Neale sums it up perfectly : "Hurricanes with a sharp...first...period"

-Not only am I live-blogging this epic game 7 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, but I'm also simultaneously preparing a killer beef stew. Respek!

-Edmonton draws blanks on two great scoring chances early in this second period (despite being short-handed due to a penalty). The game seems to be opening up a bit, which bodes well for our guys.

-You know it's a big game when the fans remain standing for an entire period, and could very well end up standing for the duration of the game. Gotta love sports sometimes.

-Markkanen makes an incredible save on Carolina's Mark Recchi. When you watch as little hockey as I do, you tend to forget just how athletic these guys are.

-Mild depression. Carolina scores yet again, this time on the powerplay. Frantisek Kaberle gets the marker. It's now 2-0.

-On the bottom of the TV screen, one of those scrolling news tickers informs us that the suicide rate in the city of Edmonton has just doubled (which may or not be a complete fabrication).

-Bob Cole delivers one of the funniest lines I've ever heard during a sporting event; while discussing injuries, Cole gives us this beauty : "The players must follow the old Farmer's Rule. It doesn't matter how you feel, the cows must still be milked." Harry Neale, his broadcast partner, doesn't even bat an eyelash and agrees wholeheartedly as if that phrase was a perfectly normal thing to utter.

Now, I don't know about you, but there is absolutely no way in hell I would have been able to continue had I been in Neale's shoes. Impossible.

-Carolina continues to dominate Edmonton; the gap in shots on goal is now 21-13 in favor of the 'Canes at the end of the second period. Carolina is simply quicker on their feet, more aggressive in finishing their hits and just seem to be playing at a higher gear.

If the Oilers originated from Colombia, they would almost surely be shot upon their return to home soil; they're playing that badly.

Third Period

-I decide to drive to a buddy's house (during the intermission) to watch the rest of the game, hoping that the change of venue will swing the karma in our favor. Anything to help the home-country team win.

-Reason no.589 why I'm enjoying this game despite the depressing score so far: The obligatory shot of the white-glove-clad NHL employee carrying the Stanley Cup as it arrives at the arena (in the back of a limo, no less!). While hockey may not be my favorite sport, it definitely has the coolest looking trophy.

-YES!!! Fernando Pisani pockets one for the Oilers a minute into the third period. Karma, baby. Karma. I can hear car horns blaring outside as news of the Oiler goal travels around the country. It's now 2-1 for the 'Canes.

-It's obvious that Edmonton is now playing with reckless abandon (a desperation rarely seen in the first two periods); better late than never, I guess.

-Jussi Markkanen (who's name is now sadly no longer funny) makes some impressive saves, keeping his team in the game. As they say in Hockeyspeak, he's standing on his head.

-Both teams are really flying up and down the ice now, and delivering bone-crunching hits along the boards. The allure of getting piss-drunk from Lord Stanley's mouth seems to be quite strong.

-Four minutes remaining in game 7.

-Christ! The Oilers come oh-so close on a rebound but Cam Ward (the 'Canes goalie) makes an outstanding save at the doorstep. By the way, there's no way a grown man's legs should ever split like that, under any circumstance. Ever.

-We are treated to shots of some of the players' wives and girlfriends in the stands. Unfortunately, the groupies get no camera time. Sad, really.

-2 minutes to go. The Oilers decide to pull their goalie; bringing in an extra attacker. Crucial faceoff in the 'Canes' zone coming up.

-Empty net goal for the 'Canes with about a minute left. And just like that, it's all over. Bob Cole and Harry Neale try to stiffle their disappointment. Neale, for his part, takes a full minute before managing to say anything after the crushing blow. We understand, Harry, we understand.

-I can't say that I'm surprised it turned out this way, especially when you consider how crappily (shut up, that should be a word) the Oilers played for 2/3 of the game.

-To give you an idea just how important this game was for Canadians; with a few hopeless seconds remaining in the game, polite and appreciative applause for the Oilers' tremendous postseason run could be heard throughout the apartment building where I'm watching the game, and some people out on the street even started an inspired Oiler chant. Please keep in mind that I'm nearly 2500 miles away from Edmonton. I'm not sure the average Carolina citizen could even pick a single 'Canes player out of a police lineup, much less start or even recognize a team chant.

-The CBC kindly refuses to show depressing images of surely dejected fans in the city of Edmonton. Fox Sports executives should take note.

-Despite Don Cherry's embarrassing and unnecessarily harsh words in the postgame commentary regarding the Oilers ("to work that hard and end up second, NOBODY remembers you when you end up second"--Take it easy, champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while), Edmonton gave its fans and the rest of the country a great and memorable ride, and for that, we are grateful. See you guys next year!

-Congratulations to the Carolina Hurricanes, your 2006 NHL champions. Ugh.