New Campaign Slogan…“Fear the Headband!”
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by user LastRow
I was always under the assumption the NBA stood for No Babies Allowed. So then why is it that we are hearing this news out of Chicago over a little red headband? “I want to wear it!”…“No, you’re not wearing it!”, “I’ll take my headband and go home!”…“If you wear this you won’t be playing!” “Well fine, I’ll just take a seat on the bench and suck on my thumb…After all, it’s pretty dog gone good tasty!” It’s so good to see that the Chicago Bulls & Ben Wallace are handling whatever issues they have like a bunch of little school yard bitches on the playground!
Now there isn’t any place that doesn’t have their own set of rules and regulations…Complete anarchy is not a good thing! No matter how petty they may seem, the facts are everyone has to abide by them no matter what. I know we’ve all thought about going to work at times just in our birthday suit to make some sort of statement, however have thought twice about it due to issues that may "arise”, (no pun intended) when getting to our place of employment. Some how, some way, I think this might come as a dress code violation. To me this would make sense, but squabbling over a headband and having a “No Headband Policy” befuddles me on a team in the NBA! I can see it in high school & college, but as professionals, come on! We all know David Stern has to help them dress, but do they need to be potty trained too? If you spray you fluids in the toilet, Little Ben gets a cookie!
Before LeBron made the “headband” marketable, it was Ben Wallace. Remember, “Fear the Fro”….That whole marketing/advertising thing? So, why is it then that the Chicago Bulls have a “No Headband Wearing Policy”, but continue to use Ben’s image all around the city of Chicago wearing a headband? Does the saying “Do as we say, not as we do” hold any value here, hmm? This coming from the same organization who employed Dennis Rodman and his various hair colors. What, did the contract that Ben signed have a “No Headband Wearing Clause” in it? Although it should be noted that Ben should’ve fully known what he was getting himself into before signing on the dotted line. Ben’s just as at fault for this as anybody! What, you didn’t read the fine print of the contract where it mandated the “No Headband Wearing Clause”? For all those zeros must’ve been blinding you! Who’s your agent, Jerry Maguire…Quick, “Show Me The Money!” I guess it should’ve been pointed out to Ben that in any working environment, from street sweeper, to life as a big time baller in the league…Rules still do apply!
So why did he do it? "I just felt like wearing it," Ben said. Isn’t that great…The Baby Bulls are really the Baby Bulls…Again acting like those playground bitches! What’s next, tattling? Or maybe a good game of hide and go seek? Come to think of it, the Bulls are currently playing this game, because they sure as hell aren’t resembling a professional basketball team who had expectations…It’s more along the lines resembling the Knicks. Seeing as since this team hasn’t lived up to it’s preseason expectations. I don’t know about you, but doesn’t Scott Skiles have more things to concern himself with than what Ben is or isn’t wearing! Weren’t you supposed to be winning more games, instead of trying to be Little Bob Knight on the professional ranks…At least that’s what I thought. What, next time Ben wears his headband, you going to give him a right cross to the face? Um Scott, judging by your current record if Ben’s headband allows him to play better just as it did when Jordan changed his number from 45 back to 23 and his play while doing so allows you to get more wins…I think I would be all for it!
However, it must be pointed out that a headband falls under the uniform dress code of the NBA…Of course it’s optional. So then how can the Bulls enforce “No Headbands”? It’s not like Ben went old skool Jim McMahon on you guys and wrote SKILES on his headband or PAXSON…Although, could they be anymore of a greater tribute than this….Wouldn’t you agree? Why ever since McMahon, the headband hasn’t gotten this much publicity in Chicago! I don’t know about everyone else, but I can see a STERN headband coming in the near future.
First, we had all the hubbub over the new dress code, then the new ball, next it was no warm-ups allowed past the bench…To the implementation of the “Mark Cuban” rule, to now having tiffs over headbands. What’s next, fighting over which horse “is mine” on the merry-go-round on the playground? Or he ruined my sand castle? Or better yet, he cut in front of me when it was my turn to get on the slide…To who Mickey Mouse likes better! All this coming from Scott Skiles, a guy who we watched sprint up and down the court during his playing days with those oh, so sexy short shorts! Now if that wasn’t against any kind of rules, (which I don’t know how the hell that wasn’t possible…For somewhere that has to be a Man Law) I sure could’ve used a headband to cover my eyes…For I always used to have nightmares about Skiles white ass legs attacking me!
Vote in the LastRowSports.com new “Pick’em” which ask about which was the better host on MTV’s “Singled Out” back in the day. We all know we watched it while slobbering all over ourselves watching Jenny & Carmen. Which one made your blood or something else bubble more…?
