NFL Wild Card Week-End Begins
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: Sippin on Coke and rum. I’m like so what I’m drunk. It’s the freakin weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun.
Public Service Announcement:
OK, here we go! Welcome to the show you’ve got to know. What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? You’ve been waiting for this. You’ve been longing for this. You’ve been begging for this. Well, here it comes. The National Football League Play-Offs. Today’s the day. Win or go home. It all starts at 4PM. On today’s dance card: Chiefs vs. Colts. On today’s dance card: Cowboys vs. Seahawks. The intrigue. The drama. Oh, the humanity. Let’s have us a little lookie. Who gets the little cookie?
Colts/Chiefs: The Chiefs have very little to lose today. They snuck themselves into the playoffs. Easy Herm, I didn’t say backed themselves in. Thanks to a couple of late-season victories, a Broncos loss, a Bengals loss, here they are. End of story. Win or go home. They won. Those other teams can go home. Still, nobody expects them to win today. Nobody. Except me. I don’t know why. They’re really not that good. They are 16th in total offense. No great shakes there. They are 16th in total defense. No great shakes there either. But, hey Indy, there milkshake is better than yours, damn right, it’s better than yours. Their milkshake features one Larry Johnson. Who, if not for nature’s anomaly, Mr. Everything, would be the best running back in the world. Larry Johnson will get the rock about forty times today. About forty times today, Larry Johnson will be running said rock down the throats of the worst run defense in the league. And then he’ll run some more. Peyton Manning is a wonderful quarterback. The Colts are a very good football team. I just don’t think they have that championship hunger. I’ve never seen it in them, and until I do, I cannot just give them the benefit of the doubt. And just so you know, KC played one dome game this year (in St.Louis). What did Larry’s Johnson do? Season high 172 yards on 27 carry’s and one TD. If that clown, Ronnie Brown can rush for 115 in a game the Dolphins were losing throughout, what’s LJ going to do? How many times are we are going to see sideline shots of Peyton Manning wearing a sourpuss as the Chiefs run for first down after first down and keep the ball for 43 minutes. Another just so you know: Including the post season, ecstasy lovin Ty Law has 7 career picks against Manning. That’s the most in pro football today. Expect a monster game from Mr. Law today. Chiefs win! Chiefs win!
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: This game is more about Dallas than Seattle. About a month ago, Dallas was the hottest team in football. About a month ago, Tony Romo was the apple of all our eyes. About a month ago, it seemed the Big Tuna had finally gotten a handle on this football team. Now? Not so much. Last Sunday, at Texas Stadium, with a possible NFC East championship on the line, the Cowboys couldn’t beat the Detroit Lions. Are you kidding me? To make matters worse, Tony Romo is playing more like Roger Healey than Roger Staubach. And, he’s never played in the post-season. That didn’t seem to bother Tom Brady, but Senator, you are no Tom Brady. Terrell Owens has the dropsies. Like my main man Bart Simpson always says, don’t lay a finger on my Butterfingers. Quite frankly, the Cowboys’ defensive backfield is an abject dis-ass-tah. And their pass rush hasn’t been the same since Greg Ellis got hurt. The Seahawks are finally healthy. Sorta. Hasselbeck will find openings in the Cowboys’ pitifully porous pass defense. Alexander will rumble and stumble and get his yards. The Seahawks will score today, just like Detroit scored last Sunday. The Seahawks will win today, just like the Lions won last Sunday.
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even! josh q public
