NFL Wild Card Week-End
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: Yo its the wild life, where peeps takin life for keeps. Yo its the wild life, we all brawlin, gotta fight to eat.
Public Service Announcement:
Ok here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? You had your fun. Now it’s time. Now it’s time to get back at it. Now it’s time to get back to work. Now it’s time to get back to business. Serious business. Growed folks business. NFL Playoff football business. Mutual of Omaha presents Wild Card Kingdom with your host Marlin Perkins. So like a cheetah chasing a gazelle we go to the upcoming games.
New Jersey Jets at New England Patriots: Are you kidding me? I mean, I give the Jets credit. They beat us once. Once. Johnny Dangerously style. They got to the dance. But their time on the floor is limited. Limited to this one game. It was a cute little run, but it’s over. It’s all over. Johnny Havlicek stole the ball! Tom Brady will spread the Jets defense thin. Kate Moss thin. And just pick them apart. On the other side of the ball, Richard Seymour and company should just tear into the Jets O-line. The Jets O-line complete with two young and gang-green rookies. Let’s not forget. The Jets have no running game. You can Leon Washington me. You can Cedric Houston me. I’m not biting. You want to win in the play-offs? You want to win in the play-offs against the New England Patriots? You want to win in the play-offs against the New England Patriots in Foxboro? You better be able to run the football. They can’t. They lose. J-E-T-S, done, done, done.
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts: The Chiefs are going to the playoffs for the first time since 2003, and nobody thought it would happen. But here they are. Here they are with Larry Johnson leading the way. Leading the way against a team whose defense has no answer for the running game. In Kansas City, that’s the only game in town. Grand mama finished second in the NFL in rushing with a franchise-record 1,789 yards. Grand mama ran for seventeen touchdowns. Grand mama proved he can carry the load. His 416 rushes are a single-season league record. He’s going to run roughshod all over the Colts. Run roughshod all over that horrible defense. Run roughshod all over that defense that ranks last in the league in yards per game. Run roughshod all over that defense that ranks last in the league in yards per attempt. Miami’s Ronnie Brown became the 10th running back to eclipse the 100-yard mark against Indy this season. Fuhgettabout it. Chiefs win.
Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Neither team is good. I don’t like either team past this game. I like the Cowboys less. They’re a mess. They were the it team a few weeks back. Now? Not so much. They just got smashed by a terrible Lion team. They just lost three of their final five regular-season games. Just lost them in a cloud. A cloud of T.O. A cloud of misery. Tony Romo has lost his luster. To make matters worse, of the only eight teams this decade that have entered the playoffs losing three of their final five regular-season games, none won more than one game. The Cowboys will not be the exception. They will not win even one. Not against the Seahawks. Despite the fact that eight offensive starters missed a total of 45 games because of injury. Despite the fact that the projected starting lineup has not played together in any game. Despite of all that, the Seahawks won their third consecutive division title and became the first Super Bowl loser in five years to make the playoffs the following season. And let’s not forget they still have a cat named Shaun Alexander. Seahawks win.
New Jersey Giants at Philadelphia Eagles: No how, no way, do the Giants win this game. No how, no way. Don’t expect a repeat performance by the most selfish player in football. Tiki doesn’t have it in him. That was it. This game is going to be all Eagles. This Eagles team just dug themselves out of a 5-6 record. This Eagles team just won its fifth division championship in the last six years. This Eagles team has heart. Something guys like Tiki, Burress and Shockey don’t even know how to spell. Without Donovan McNabb, the Eagles weren’t supposed to win. Without Donovan McNabb the Eagles were supposed to just go away. Too bad nobody told that to Jeff Garcia. Too bad nobody told that to the Eagles. They crush the Giants on Sunday.
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even! [http://joshqpublic.com josh q. public
