NFL Training Camp Dave Matthews Band Style!

by MUDaveFan

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Hey there campers! Two of our favorite things about summer are 1.) the start of NFL training camps and 2.) Dave Matthews Band concerts. This year, the Bengals training camp starts on July 27th. Dave Matthews Band late summer of concerts start on July 28th. Coincidence? We think not! The gentlemen of DMB and Roger Goodell contacted "The Smartest Men Alive" and asked us to come up with a blog post that connected America's favorite band with America's favorite sport.* We obliged. Here it is...NFL predicted finishes DMB style!

• Note: DMB and Roger Goodell actually sent a letter to cease and desist to the "Smartest Men Alive." Sucks to be us!

THE AFC

AFC EAST [3] Best of What's Around. "Turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters." Moss was terrible in Oakland...he won't be terrible in New England.

[4] #40. This song is rare to hear live. It's rare to go to 4 consecutive Super Bowls. But much like hearing this song live, the Bills are mostly a tease.

[5] Break Free. The Jets would "drink the poison if you filled the cup" in order to break free from the shadow of the Giants. Anytime you have to share a stadium, you know you are a second tier team.

[6] Stay (Wasting Time). The Dolphins, much like this song, are great at the beginning of the season/setlist. But as a closer, both are terrible and a complete letdown.

AFC SOUTH [7] #41. This is the best DMB song and the Colts are the best team in the NFL. It's only fitting that the best are paired with the best.

[8] You Never Know. One week the Jags will beat a great team like the Colts. The next week the Jags will lose to a bad team like the Texans. You seriously just never know with this team.

[9] Ants Marching. "Take these chances! Place them in a box until a quieter time..." The Titans took a chance on Vince Young. He'll be great in about 5 years.

[10] The Stone. "I was just wondering if you'd come along...please tell me you will." The fans of the Texans are quite lonely. All they want is a friend. Won't you come along?

AFC NORTH [11] American Baby Intro. The Bengals are an up-and-coming team and have the potential to be amazing. This song has more potential than any other in the DMB catalog.

[12] Rapunzel. "For you I would crawl, through the darkest dungeon...climb a castle wall!" Steeler Nation would do ANYTHING for a winner. They've tasted the goodness of a recent Super Bowl win, now they want more!

[13] Raven. Was there any other choice here? We seriously doubt Dave wrote this song in honor of the Baltimore Ravens but it would be kind of cool if he did.

[14] Dreams of our Fathers. This is the only album recorded song that DMB has never played live. They have sound checked it but that does not count. The Browns have never played in a Super Bowl, let alone won one except for way back in the day when the NFL didn't even exist. That also does not count.

AFC WEST [15] Pig. "The best is yet to come." Sure last year was a major disappointment, but "don't beat your head, dry your eyes." Ladanian + Rivers + Gates + Merriman ='s Super Bowl in 2 years.

[16] One Sweet World. Denver is one of the cleanest places we have ever visited. Maybe it's because of all the crazy hippies that live there. Regardless, we are sure Dave and Co. enjoy the cleanliness of Denver...the sunshine state.

[17] Fool to Think. "Was I fool, was I fool to think" that you would win a playoff game in January? Chiefs fans think they have the best homefield advantage. Newsflash...Christian Okoye is not walking through that door.

[18] Cry Freedom. We would never turn down the opportunity for season tickets to any NFL team. If we had to turn them down, it would be the Raiders. We would never piss during a DMB concert. If we had to urinate, it would be to this song.

THE NFC

NFC EAST [19] Halloween. Eagles fans are scary. This song is scary. We can't tell who screams more...Eagle fans or Dave when this rarity is played in concert.

[20] Satellite. Think back to 1995-1996. Remember when the Cowboys used to be great? They were "America's Team." This song was "America's favorite DMB song." How times have changed.

[21] Don't Drink the Water. Have you ever seen the East River? It's straight out nasty! This song could have also been called "Don't drink the Kool-Aid" meaning don't put all of your eggs in Eli Manning's basket.

[22] Let You Down. LaVarr Arrington, Deion Sanders, Steve Spurrier, every other massive free agent signing. Daniel Snyder "has no lid upon his head."

NFC South [23] Louisiana Bayou. An obvious no-brainer here. Although we have no idea if New Orleans is considered "down by the by-oo" or if the whole state is just considered a bayou.

[24] Grey Street. The Panthers are always a chic pick to go to and/or win the Super Bowl but one piece is ALWAYS missing. This song is always a chic pick to hear as a closer but one piece is ALWAYS missing...the third verse.

[25] Last Stop. Jeff Garcia AND Jake Plummer fighting for a quarterback spot along with 10 other players. "This is the last stop...here there's more than showing up."

[26] Too Much. Mike Vick drinks too much. He smokes too much. He fights dogs too much. Tooooooo muuuuuuuch! This team is headed for a disaster.

NFC North [27] Hunger for the Great Light. An angry song mixed with an angry fan base. Plus this song is about sex and the Bears have Rex "The Sex Cannon" Grossman. F-it, I'm going deep!

[28] Tripping Billies. What is it like living in Wisconsin? Is it at boring as it sounds? I'm sure all Packer fans do is "eat, drink, and be merry." But hopefully they won't die tomorrow.

[29] I Did It. This song is widely regarded as the all-time worst DMB song. The Detroit Lions are widely regarded as the all-time worst NFL franchise. Don't worry, if Jon Kitna says 10+ wins then Jon Kitna means 10+ wins...or 5. Either or.

[30] Say Goodbye. To win in the NFL, you have to have a quarterback. He doesn't even have to be THAT good, you just need one to line up under center. Do the Vikings even have a QB? We didn't think so. The Vikes can "say goodbye" to their chances this year. Of course, they can always "go back to being friends" with Randy Moss.

NFC WEST [31] JTR. "Rain...rain...rain down on me again!" It rains constantly in Seattle and it has to put a damper on tailgating. The Seahawks disappeared for awhile, as did this song. Now hopefully both are back to stay.

[32] #34. Remember back in the '90s when the 49ers were awesome? Well this song was also awesome back then...and it had words! Now it's just a number...like the 49ers.

[33] Dreamgirl. This song is about a fantasy girl. Cardinal fans are living in a fantasy if they think that you can win in the NFL without a defense. This song is a major let down at any point in a setlist much like the Cardinals being a let down to anyone that bets the over on them in Vegas. [

] What Would You Say? If I told you that you could go back in time and relive the Greatest Show on Turf, what would you say? "Mom it's my birthday!" Bring back Kurt Warner! Bring back Marshall Faulk! Bring back Dick Vermeil! It's my birthday!

originally posted at http://ifrevonlyhadabrain.blogspot.com/

MegECass110AAA-er

861 days ago

Score 0

I like the creativity, it's just too bad that 95% of DMB certifiably blows.

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