NFL Picks: Week Five
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by user FranklinNoble
Two weeks into the SportsDigs.com picks contest, and I'm stinking out the joint (for the current score, click here). The only comfort I have is that so far, only one other contestant has actually submitted picks in both weeks. So, there's still hope for me to win (and, if I keep picking this poorly, there's still hope for someone new to beat me, even if they haven't entered yet).
At this point, the NFL season is starting to make a little more sense, and we're beginning to see which teams have an honest shot at the playoffs, and which are just trying to win more games than Houston. On with the picks:
Buffalo at Chicago: The Bills have certainly improved, but the Bears might be the best team in football, and they're only getting more confident each week. Pick: Chicago
Cleveland at Carolina: There are a few really, really bad teams in the NFL every year, and the best course of action is to not pick any of them unless they're playing each other (and then there's the Raiders - but we'll get to them later). The Browns had an inspired comeback victory against an Oakland team that's bad on a lot of levels, but they had no business letting them get ahead 21-3 in the first place. Pick: Carolina
Detroit at Minnesota: Has Detroit ever been good? Since the merger, they've only won 10 games 3 times - all during the Barry Sanders era, and even then their best year ever was 12-4 (and they got annihilated in the playoffs). They won four NFL championships between 1935 and 1957. Since then, their record is apocalyptically bad. So, all you Lions fans who think Matt Millen is your problem, study your history a bit. Your team has a 4th degree black belt in chronic ineptitude. Pick: Minnesota
Miami at New England: Dolphins coach Nick Saban is supposedly considering benching Daunte Culpepper because of a bruised shoulder. That's an awfully sweet way to say that 'Pep is done, and he actually thinks Miami has a better chance with Joey Harrington. The decision won't be made until Sunday, but that really makes no difference in my pick: New England
St. Louis at Green Bay: This is the last soft game on the Rams schedule until the end of November. They need to be 4-1 after this week, because they'll probably lose 3 out of their next 4. Pick: St. Louis
Tampa Bay at New Orleans: The Saints won't enjoy the kind of atmosphere they had in their home opener, but fortunately, the Buccaneers are one spleen short of a starting quarterback. Pick: New Orleans
Tennessee at Indianapolis: Look for Vince Young to earn his first NFL victory as a starter. In week eight. Pick: Indianapolis
Washington at N.Y. Giants: I honestly thought the Redskins had no chance last week against a very strong Jaguars team. I figured their defense would crush us, and their offense would torch our depleted secondary. Then, right about the second quarter, I saw Mike Tice on the Jaguars sideline. And I knew Jacksonville was doomed. Mike Tice is not a good coordinator who just couldn't manage being a head coach; he's a below-average position coach who doesn't even belong on a Division-1 college sideline. He took one of the most talented NFL rosters over the last several years and redefined underachievement. I guess his buddy Jack Del Rio threw him a bone, and in doing so, cursed the Jaguars season. Either way, Al Saunders has finally got his offense working for the Redskins, and if the defense can step up a notch, they're going to be hard to beat. LaVar who? Pick: Washington
Kansas City at Arizona: I have no idea how the Chiefs destroyed the 49ers so convincingly last week. I didn't see the game, and I can't tell if the Chiefs are for real, or if San Francisco was just that bad. Pick: Kansas City
N.Y. Jets at Jacksonville: This is a gut-check game for the Jaguars. They've lost two tough road games, and need to win at home going into their bye. Pick: Jacksonville
Oakland at San Francisco: LaMont Jordan thinks the Raiders can win the Super Bowl. Art Shell is asleep at the wheel. Randy Moss doesn't care one way or another. And somewhere, I think Al Davis is starting to resemble Howard Hughes in his later years... probably locked away in a film room somewhere, watching looped reels of the John Madden and Tom Flores teams of the Raiders glory days. Like Hughes, Davis revolutionized his industry, and like Hughes, he's completely lost his mind. Take heart, Oakland fans - at least the Athletics made it out of the first round of the playoffs. Pick: San Francisco
Dallas at Philadelphia: This is the point in the season where Dallas gets embarrassed and things begin to get real ugly in the locker room. Pick: Philadelphia
Pittsburgh at San Diego: Losing a close game on the road on the other side of the country doesn't change my opinion of the Chargers - I think they're the best team in the AFC. This week, the shoe is on the other foot, and the Steelers will have to contend with a long flight and three time zones to overcome, in addition to a tough, physical opponent. Pick: San Diego
Baltimore at Denver: Steve McNair has been getting away with poor play for three quarters in every game so far. I don't think Mile High Stadium will be so forgiving. Pick: Denver
This article originally posted at SportsDigs.com
And now you've ruined that. Curses!