NBA Finals Preview: Punk'd, Lap Dances, and Ball Busting

by user Roblefko

Forget stats, rebounds, and dunks. Here is the true NBA Finals preview, involving Ashton Kutcher, lap dances, and ball busting. Enjoy.

Shaquille O'Neal v. Dirk Nowitzki: Who got Punk'd better?

Lowdown: Ashton Kutcher did his thing on each of them. Funny stuff.

Edge: Mavericks, I feel like this stuff happens to Dirk in real life.

Marquis Daniels v. Jason Williams: Tats vs. Tats

Lowdown: Daniels certainly gets points for the copious arm art. And while Williams would normally get negged for the ultra-lame "tattoo your own nickname" schtick, for him, it's a positive: (a) his nick is "whiteboy" and (b) he did it on his fingers.

Edge: Heat, by a knuckle.

Alonzo Mourning v. DeSagana Diop: Better Rap Tribute?

Lowdown: After watching Diop, Diop, all i can think about is how funny it would look if Mark Cuban danced to that.

Edge: Mavs, Mavs.

Dwyane Wade v. Devin Harris: Ladies Man?

Lowdown: I dunno, can't really tell. I'll ask my wife.

Edge: Heat, because Wade's a better ball player. Promise.

Antoine Walker v. Jerry Stackhouse: Lap Dance or Threesome?

Lowdown: Stackhouse is having more fun now, but Walker will be having more fun tonight.

Edge: Mavericks 2-1

Pat Riley v. Avery Johnson: Giver or Receiver?

Lowdown: The sign of a good coach is one that knows how to motivate their players. While Riley takes one for the team, Avery, well, gives it.

Edge: Mavericks, Ill take a ballbuster on my team any day.

Date

Fri 06/09/06, 6:56 am EST