by user David J. Cohen
These are the best "shots" of April in the NBA. I have ranked them by "best picture" in reverse order. Anyone with additional ideas feel free to comment.
10. Rafer Alston, April 12th against Minnesota
| || Griffin: I’m finally gonna get a block!
Blount: Ain't no way he’s skippin his lou outta this
Alston (Skip to My Lou): (CHUCKLING) The net tickles. I got myself into one hell of a bind here. Can’t lay it in the hoop but I can sure as hell lay it in Griffin’s armpit.
Marv Albert: Alston jams it home! What a Spec-tacular move by Rafer Alston!
9. ZaZa Pachulia, April 15th against Milwaukee
| || (When Pachulia gets on the break and no one is with him Ric Flair’s music/Space Odyssey theme starts playing in the arena)
NOTE: for those who do not know what this is, here’s a link to listen to it:
It’ll become instantly obvious once you hear it.
ZaZa: I’m gonna do it! I’m reaching for it! I’m gonna be the first European basketball player to dunk a basketball!
Buck with Headband: he’s not trying to…oh boy.
Buck near the 3-point arc: What’s he doing?
ZaZa: (SUDDEN REALIZATION) Wait a minute. I’m on the way down.
8. Kobe, April 6th against Denver
| || Kobe: I got this one. Man, this rim sure looks tasty.
Camby: For the love of God, NOOOOOOOO!
. Jamal Crawford, April 7th against Indiana
| || Crawford: Why does Larry Brown always yell at me! Why doesn’t Starbury wanna hang out with me? Why am I about to miss this lay-up? Why do we always have to lose? WHYYYYYYY!
Pacer (TO HIMSELF) I was gonna swat it away but now I feel like I’d be taking candy from a baby. All these guys do is whine. When is this game gonna end . . .
6. Referee “On the court I’m a” Dick Bavetta, April 17th in Toronto
| || Raptor: There just in warm-ups and this crock’s already looking to T someone up. I’ll show him. (Grabs Dick)
Bavetta: AAAAAAAAHHH! It’s Godzilla and he’s really ticked off! He’s turned red. (IN HIS HEAD: kinda of like Rasheed Wallace whenever I…)
Raptor: Gotcha! Oh look, a camera! Say cheese!
Bavetta: I’m hugging someone! Nooooooooooooooo!
5. Grim Reaper, April 8th in Utah
| || Isn't this guy a little late?
Reaper: Hahaha. First I got Miles. Then I got Randolph. Blake, you’re next!
Guy in red shirt: (LOOKS UP) Whoa, I don’t wanna go yet!
Reaper: I’m not after you! I’m after them (POINTS AT BLAZER BENCH). Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-ha-ha-ha!
Guy in red shirt: Haven’t you looked at the standings? They’re already dead.
Reaper: Dammit! Oh wait, isn’t that Howard Dean to my right? (LARGE GRIN) Exxxcellent!
4. Dirk Nowitzki, April 7th against San Antonio
| || Just look at his face. Nothing can add to that.
3. Antonio Daniels, April 12th against Milwaukee
| || Daniels: AAAHHHHHH! I got the ball! Oh my God! Oh my God! What do I do? UUUGH! If Arenas weren’t playing his stupid poker games.
Redd: (WHISPERS TO DANIELS) Hey playa ya think you can hook a brother up wit ya boy Spalding for just a sec. I promise I’ll give him back.
Daniels: Just take it! Just take it!
2. Rockets Dancer, April 15th in Houston
| || This is just cool.
Girl: Yeah! What them other girls got on me now!
Tsakalidis: Blah Blah Blah I sit on the bench and make millions Blah Blah Blah…
Pros 70: Bro I don’t care. All I see are...panties!
Pros 0: Wish I could dunk.
Assistant Coach: Hmm. She thinks that’s special. I could do a 360 windmill back in the day.
Guy with goatee and gray shirt: (WHISPERING TO HIMSELF) Oh yeah! She’s soooo hot.
1. Allen Iverson, April 4th against Cleveland
| || Varejao: How does it feel? Coach always said I had good hands.
A.I.: Ohhh yeaahhh, right there.
Varejao: (TO HIMSELF) Whose got the answer now?
Other Cavalier: Just relax while I gently touch your ball.
Varejao: (TO HIMSELF) He’s finally letting it go. (TO OTHER GUY) Now, get the ball.
Other Cavalier: I’m tappin it over to King James. Don’t worry about it.
Varejao: (TO WEBBER) Would you like one next?
Fri 04/21/06, 12:27 pm EST