NASCAR and ArmchairGM: An Exposition
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by user I am a cpcp
The Daytona 500 has come and gone and with it has gone America's interest in NASCAR. After the race the talking heads that support racing were going on and on about how all the story lines aligned perfectly to boost America's love of racing. I don't know about any of you, but I haven't heard (or cared to hear) jack squat about people driving in ovals since the day after the "Super Bowl of NASCAR."
Therefore, I feel it's time to further expound my comment from an earlier article and present to you...
The Top 25 Reasons NASCAR Fans Don't Write Articles on ArmchairGM!
25. Too tough to type when holding a beer and a cigarette.
24. Boycotting Armchair because (insert driver) doesn't have as good as bio page as (insert driver).
23. Too busy watching the latest Larry The Cable Guy DVD to write an article.
22. Wanted to contribute to ArmchairGM but couldn't find the screen on their Lazy Boy.
21. Have to take their keyboard back to Walmart because the keys were put on with the letters all jumbled.
20. Couldn't figure out how to wikify "dem der drivers."
19. Focusing their time on trying to be the next contestant on their favorite reality show, My Name is Earl.
18. Most trailer parks don't get that intranater thang.
17. All the tobacco spit makes the keys stick.
16. Boycotting all forms of media until Junior is made a contestant on Dancing With the Stars.
15. Can't type after losing fingers in an unfortunate Lawn Boy + Beer equation.
14. Too busy uploading the episode of Cops they were on to Youtube.
13. Don't want to share a website with those snooty F1 fans.
12. Still dealing with the tragic loss of their uncle-brother-dad-grandma.
11. Looked at their "What Would Junior Do" bracelet and decided they were too freakin' sweet for Armchair.
10. Global Warming.
9. Tried to create an article on Armchair but the ad free environment left them scared and confused.
8. Still recovering from $1 Draft Night at Bobby John's Place.
7. Too busy celebrating the fact that their son is the first in the family to get a GED.
6. Scared and intimidated that their articles won't live up to the expectations set by the Cricket World Cup preview.
5. Still working on their critical analysis of their favorite inspirational drama, Joe Dirt.
4. Wants to get a computer but trying to figure out their new-fangled VCR first.
3. Needed a computer, bought a carburetor.
2. So many AA meetings, so little time.
1. It just takes too dang long to write an article when you keep instinctively turning your chair left.
