Mike Tyson: Male Prostitute
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: Tiny little pants, chain around my boot. Shakin’ in the dark, I’m a teen-age prostitute.
Public Service Announcement:
Ok, here we go! What the hell is going on around here? I’m still reeling from the OJ nonsense. Now this? Jeepers crow! It sounds like a story from the Onion. We wish. It’s true boys and girls. Iron Mike Tyson, Kid Dynamite, is indeed joining the world’s oldest profession. He is switching pimps. Giving up Don King and taking on Heidi Fleiss. He’s coming for you ladies. His penis is impetuous. His clientele is hopefully impregnable. He’s just ferocious. He wants your ass. He wants to eat your… well you get the point. Praise be to Allah! Iron Mike is going to be the “Stallion” of Fleiss’ new bordello, the Stud Farm. I can hear it now, “You’re sweet. I’m going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I’m gonna make you my girlfriend.” Maybe now he can finally try out some of those moves he learned in prison. I’m no human resources expert or anything, but is this really a good idea? Who is going to insure that train wreck? The good hands people? Well, who am I to judge? Joe Wapner? No I am I not. The whole thing did get me thinking though. There was a time we tried to find Mike’s place in boxing history. Now, I’m trying to figure out if this whore thing could be a trend. What if more boxers decided to give it a go? What would be their place in the prostitute world? Now isn’t that a perfect segue for a top 10 list? In fact, the idea’s so nice, I’ll do it twice. Top 10 boxing prostitutes. Worst 10 boxing prostitutes. Without any further adieu:
Top 10 Boxing Prostitutes:
10. Arturo “Thunder” Gatti
9. Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini
8. Michael “Second” To Nunn
7. Hector “Macho” Camacho
6. James “Hard Rock” Green
5. John “the Beast” Mugabi
4. “The Raging Bull” Jake LaMotta
3. Riddick “Big Daddy” Bowe
2. “The Motor City Cobra” Tommy Hearns
1. Marvelous Marvin Hagler
Worst Ten Boxing Prostitutes:
10. Ernie “the Acorn” Shavers
9. “Irish” Micky Ward
8. Chuck Wepner, “the Bayonne Bleeder”
7. ”The Cincinatti Flash”, Ezzard Charles
6. Pernell “Sweet Pea” Whitaker
5. Bobby “No Dice” Chacon
4. “Terrible” Tim Weather Spoon
3. James “Quick” Tillis
2. Ronald “Winky” Wright
1. Roberto “No Mas” Duran
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even josh q public
